April 20, 2007
OMG NOEZ horrific writing excerpt

With all of the hubbub about Virginia Tech shooter Seung-hui Cho's violent writings, I figured I'd post a short piece of my own that garnered a similar reaction from someone who read it when I was a student. Now, this wasn't for an assignment, but rather a short piece I wrote in my spare time and submitted to the Morse College writing tutor. Students were encouraged to submit up to three short pieces -- whether for classes or our own outside writing -- to her for further discussion during a scheduled meeting. Session times were chosen by signing our names in empty timeslots on the schedule on her door; students would leave the work to be critiqued in an adjacent folder. Afterwards, usually that evening or the next day, the writing tutor would e-mail us to confirm the meeting times.

But I never got an e-mail. When I e-mailed her to see if she'd gotten my writing and seen my amendment to the schedule, there was no response. Furthermore, from that point on, anytime I saw her on campus, she would literally hide behind objects, bend over to tie her shoe, immediately begin talking to anyone nearby -- anything to avoid speaking to or even making eye contact with me. I suspect that she contributed to the multiple accusations and suspicions that were leveled against me as well.

And now, many years later, I bring you one of the short pieces from that writing packet! Granted, it's not the most frightening of the two pieces I submitted to the writing tutor -- the other excerpt, which was much more horrific and about two pages longer, involved vampires slashing open the leg of a mental patient and bleeding him dry, such that the corpse was left shriveled and greenish in color -- but it's the only one I've been able to locate. So here, for your reading pleasure, is The Sinister Pelican (Flight of the Dread Fowl). Around the time that I wrote this, I was having recurring nightmares (which I didn't mind, as my nightmares tend to be far more interesting than my standard dreams) involving three or four rather spooky characters, so I'd planned to write up brief descriptions of the characters and their exploits in a numbered format. This was going to be the start of the section concerning the Sinister Pelican, but after the writing tutor never contacted me again I hesitated to finish it for fear that it would become among the "evidence" used against me if I were ever arrested or caught up in a formal investigation of the ridiculous claims. With the residential college dean condemning me for playing violent video games and actually telephoning the parents of students whom I'd known before arriving on the campus to inquire about my violent tendencies, I wouldn't have put it past them.

I don't even see what's so horrifying about it, personally.

Anyway, I could go off on a rant about how this latest shooting will likely result in the persecution and/or censorship of a lot of creative folks who may not exactly be Joe Normal or produce material that Standards and Practices would approve, but I'll stop for now. I've been sifting through some of my backlogged content, so I hope to have lengthier fare for you next time! Until then, try not to be too dickish to your fellow humans.

-posted by Wes | 3:37 am | Comments (8)
8 Comments »
  • agustinaldo says:

    Well, let's think for a moment...

    1-You write several comic books ("Hot Flashes") saying how much you hate your job and your life and how better would be if everyone who tormented you were dead.

    2-You are highly paranoid (detecting racial issues in Raven episodes and sexual fantasies in CHILDREN'S BOOK).

    3-You won't admit that you are crazy (ie. the most classic sign of insanity)

    4-You are fascinated with satanic imagery and the occult arts.

    5-You've written death threats to a mere innocent TV host (Oprah)

    So yeah, I think you are about to commit a massacre yourself. I think you should get professional help and have someone help you solve all of your issues before you pick up a shotgun and start blowing up innocent people.

    By the way, it's CHO SENG-HUI. Asians ALWAYS put their last names first.

  • Wes says:

    I don't even know how to respond to that comment except to say OMFG srsly you're a bloody moron. If you think I'm so freaking mad (despite the fact that only one of us -- and not yours truly -- has ever written death threats to anyone), please stop reading this site and stop commenting here immediately. Thanks.

  • the Jax says:

    I was wondering whether you would weigh in on the massacre, Wes, given that you experienced real college life (unlike most of us, I would guess) and had accusations leveled at you. I am as sickened by the reactionary aftermath as you are. I'm sure I would have been put on "weirdo watch" myself back in high school, despite having a number of friends.
    What happened at my school the day after Columbine? Self-righteous twerps started picking on a quiet guy for wearing a black trench coat. Yeah, the right lesson is never learned...
    But about the pelican: shame on that girl for ostracizing you! That's not scary, it's tongue-in-cheek macabre. I'll bet she hadn't read Neverwhere. Maybe in the context of bloodier vampire violence excerpts it seemed more scary.
    I wouldn't have pegged sicko Cho as dangerous either--he talked like Napoleon Dynamite. I can't blame society for a screw-up like that. He obviously programmed himself the same way certain relatives of mine have: nothing's ever my fault, the world is out to get me, my parents wish they had aborted me, etc etc. A person like you or I might get scalded by coffee and say "ouch! clumsy me". A jerk with a sense of entitlement and a head up the ass will say "McDonald's is an irresponsible corporation! They put a dangerous chemical in my hands and I will sue for $1 million!" The quiet, massacre-ing type will say nothing, but keep score internally: "That McDonald's girl always burns me with coffee. She hates me, and I never did anything to her. I will have to follow her home and shoot her in the head before I am dead of coffee burns."
    Didn't mean to go so long, I am sure everyone is sick of the coverage and the analysis and such!

  • agustinaldo says:

    " don't even know how to respond to that comment except to say OMFG srsly you're a bloody moron. If you think I'm so freaking mad (despite the fact that only one of us -- and not yours truly -- has ever written death threats to anyone), please stop reading this site and stop commenting here immediately. Thanks."

    So, you can actually joke around a lot, but can't seem to get a joke?

    Where's your sense of humor?

    Sheesh, you would think a Robot Chicken apprentice would know a joke when he sees one.

  • Greg says:

    Agustinaldo. Leave. Seriously.

  • Fauna says:

    I dunno. I kinda liked the Sinister Pelican, in a macabre kind of way.

  • Cavebear says:

    Damn Agustinaldo, that was one lame-ass joke.

  • Matto says:

    For the sake of Wes and fans of his site, I've decided to add a line to one of Agustinaldo's comments. (it's in double quotes)

    "Sheesh, you would think a Robot Chicken apprentice would know a joke when he sees one." ""However, me being a complete douchebag, my humor is on a grade scale of -0.01. HA HA HA! God I'm so funny.""

    I guess this is the reason God made us stupid.

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