September 11, 2006
A Random Lunch #11…! And plugs.

It feels odd to be posting A Random Lunch #11 on September 11. I was going to write a bit about the superficial similarities between the feature and the events that took place five years ago to the day, but after reading through the Wiki article on the subject I can't quite bring myself to do it. Instead, let's have a moment of silence, or better yet you can silently read parts of the article and see what comes to mind. Pretty heavy stuff.

Anyway, had I gone on to detail how both the features and the terrorist attacks feature various components that ostensibly do not belong together, I would've ended with, "And like the unfortunate machinations of that day and the ominous implications of the numbers 9-1-1, the unnatural combination of these ingredients is similarly suggestive of danger -- gastrointestinal danger." Which would have brought us to another point (and this is where the gloom ends; welcome back to Scary-Crayon):

Speaking of gastrointestinal processes and whatnot, I just had a thought (before I got all somber and serious, anyway) that made me laugh out loud. Okay, so this is nothing new to Latin scholars, and if you have a tendency to analyze odd vocabulary words you may already have considered this -- but look at the word defecate. Now, note that the more proper term for shit is feces. Now, look again at defecate. De-fecate. So the word pretty much literally means to de-poopify! Fantastic.

In other news, I was at the Baltimore Comicon on Saturday, so I'm planning to do a full review (in the vein of the Shore Leave Report) at some point during the next week or two. But then again, knowing me it could be three months to never, so I figured I'd go ahead and plug some of the cool webcomic-related people and groups that I met there right now, in the random order that I remove their flyers and comics and business cards from my convention bag. I'll save the other cool folks (and individual mentions, where the groups here are concerned) that I met there for the article itself, but in the meantime you can check out these sites and whatnot. Tell 'em Wes sent you! Which won't mean much to them since nobody knows my name, but I do enjoy confusing people. So there. 😉

So. I've got a sticker from, a compilation comic from the Webcomic Hotness group (lots of cool folks in this group, so check them out), issue 38 of High Noon presents, a business card from Rob Balder of Partially Clips, a neon green card from UpDown Studio, a pink flyer thingy from, and an issue of a zombie comic called Dead of Summer. Again, I'll have more to say about some of these folks (and others!) whenever I get around to the report.

Ja ne, minna-san!

-posted by Wes | 4:11 pm | Comments (14)
  • Calaquin says:

    I just ate a rather large amount of fish, and decided to check your site for updates. Big mistake. The pictures of this food made me gag. I'll have to read it later when I'm not quite so full.

    You have balls unlike anything I've seen, my friend.

  • Man that dish looked SO disgusting. Mainly, because it looks just like the mysterious slime that seems to always be in the garbage at the nursing home.

    I have no idea what that stuff is or how it even gets there, but it never fails to leak out. Keep in mind I work in the kitchen, and the only garbage I deal with is kitchen garbage. We never serve anything resembling this slime but somehow when I go to wrestle the monstrous bag of garbage into the dumpster this gross goo (again resembling your most recent random lunch) always, always leaks out and gets all over my shoes and the ground around the dumpster.

    The worst incident was just a couple days ago when the bag ripped open at the bottom and all it's contents, covered in slime, spilled out all over the ground. I had to use a snow-shovel to get it into the dumpster. Then I had to wash the shovel.

    I really hope someone was eating something while reading that.

    I'd also like to mention that my father's birthday is September 11, and I get a huge kick out of celebrating while everyone else is mourning and/or exploiting a tragedy.

  • Wes says:

    Calaquin: Well, these dishes may look disgusting, but it doesn't take much in the way of balls to consume something when you know exactly what went into it and how it was made. It'd be a lot scarier if I were eating Random Lunches made by someone else (especially if I kinda didn't trust that person), but as it is they're not so bad at all.

    Tetsu: And you're sure it's not creamed corn or resident vomit? Hmm. Congealing grease, mashed up squash, soggy, crumbling bran muffins... there are all kinds of possibilities for what it could be. If you really want to know what it is, you could always taste it and find out...

    Happy belated birthday to your father!

  • agustinaldo says:


    Why do you keep poisoning yourself for our amusement?

    You are not Johnny Knoxville and Scary Crayon is not "Jackass". You don't need to lacerate your stomach and endanger your health to entertain us.

  • Wes says:

    I think it's important to note that these dishes are not really dangerous. If they were, I'd post a disclaimer to the effect of "KIDS, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!" or something. Instead, I totally tell you to try this at home (insofar as you want to eat strange and gross-looking concoctions, anyway)! Mixing explosive chemicals may have disastrous results, but mixing creamed corn and turkey franks is hardly likely to produce such a volatile reaction. 😉

    DISCLAIMER: Wes is not responsible for any personal injury caused by the mixing of creamed corn and turkey franks -- or by duplicating any of the other culinary experiments on Scary-Crayon.

  • Spoodles says:

    Hey. Besides your awesome serial novel, this article may be some of the best writing I've seen on the site. Thanks for the laughs!

  • Vomit is essentially an impossibility as the only garbage I deal with is from the kitchen trash can, and nobody vomits in the kitchen. Congealed grease, however, is a definite possibility.

    I didn't have that problem today, though. Instead, I just hit my head on the dumpster and got a really nasty lump on my forehead that hurt like hell. To tell the truth, something horrible happens to me every time I take out the garbage. I could seriously (and indeed might) base a daily comic-strip on it.

    My favourite incident is the bag that was so heavy I almost got a hernia lifting it, and could only get it to lean over the edge. I had to use a rapid series of uppercuts (think of a poor-man's Shin-Shryuuken) to get it in (and yes, I struck a "victory pose" when I did). And, of course it was leaky. Only today has the garbage not been leaky.

    BTW on a much better note. Despite the concerns you expressed here, cute nurses are not extinct. Somewhat rare, perhaps endangered, but they're not extinct. I talked to one just today.

  • Paul says:

    Wes what inspired you to mix canned corn, old croutons, and cheap hot dogs?

  • Wes says:

    Spoodles: No problem -- thanks for the comment and the article link(s)! 🙂

    Tetsu: Porridge? Oatmeal? Chunky potato soup? I'd be interested in reading a comic about the horrors of taking out the trash -- that'd definitely be amusing.

    Paul: The need to get rid of these things, basically! That's pretty much the impetus for a lot of the Random Lunches, hence the prevalence of expired foodstuffs among the ingredients. 🙂

  • Today, I've finally identified it. It turns out that, as I was already aware, a few of the residents are no longer capable of eating solid foods. Now, I had thought that the home was solving this in a sane and logical manner by serving them foods that aren't supposed to be solid anyway (ex. soup, jello, porridge, pudding, etc.). But, it turns out that they went the insane and frankly fucked-up route of simply pureing normally solid foods and serving them in a bowl. Today, I saw a bowl of pured bologna sandwich, and instantly recognized it.

    Anyway, judging by the amazing amount of that stuff that ends up in the trash I would say that the people who get pured meals don't eat them. And, can you really blame them. I just hope that if I'm ever in a state where I can't have solid foods, they'll have the good sense to stick to regular non-solid foods (again, soup, pudding, etc.) instead of throwing a fucking SANDWICH in a fucking blender.

  • Wes says:

    I dunno -- I've always wanted to try one of those meatshakes. And think: frozen bologna sandwich puree might be kind of like meaty ice cream. Yum yum!

  • Why do I have the feeling this discussion has just inspired another food article on this site?

  • Wes says:

    Seeing as how I hate using blenders because they're so bloody difficult to wash out, I have no idea. 🙂

  • agustinaldo says:


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