September 13, 2005
Thomas Wayne was an asshole.

Don't waste your tears on that asshole, Bruce!
You might go crazy.

Hey folks -- not a lot to add tonight, but the title of the article says it all: Thomas Wayne was an asshole. My list is hardly exhaustive, so feel free to add any other reasons you come up with. Ja ne.

-posted by Wes | 3:15 am | Comments (21)
21 Comments »
  • Greg says:

    Nice job, Wes. One thing I'd like to add is that Alfred didn't even get buried at sea. In "The Dark Night Returns", Batman forgets all about Alfred's poor health to fight Superman, and Alfred dies outside, in the snow, alone. Poor Alfred. 🙁

  • Dave says:

    That was funny. Like Thomas Wayne couldn't part with his wallet! The dressing up as a giant bat made me laugh.

    If you think that guy was bad, imagine what Bananaman's parents must have been like!

  • Steve says:

    You make a good point, though.
    The world really IS better off with Tom Wayne being murdered in an alley.
    It allowed for the creation of Batman, who then kicked some royal villainous ass.

    The world needs our badass, dangle badguys from rooftops, uber-angsty hero.

    Kudos, Wes.

  • Calaquin says:

    What is it with rich people getting mugged in alleys? Can't they just wear dirty clothes and live in cardboard boxes like the rest of us?

  • Robweiller says:

    Such an excellent article Wes. Keep on writing, there are people who await your essays on popculture... 🙂

    I think Sir Thomas must have been terribly tight-fisted too, especially when small details were concerned (that goes along well with his greed). For God's sake, he could have used a car that evening (I'm sure he already had one), but no, he must have saved some money on petrol instead 🙄 And for sure he paid nothing to Alfred.

    BTW - what's with U-Jin 3?

  • Scorn the Terrible says:

    I never saw the appeal of Batman; he didn't have any powers, he was angsty, and let's face it, he's basically a gay joke in a rubber costume.

    I prefer the Joker, myself: a guy like that you can't help but love and appreciate. Keep up the good work, my clown prince of crime!

  • mee says:

    i like the clothes that martha wayne weres were he were a fur coat or stola

  • mee says:

    I WONDER HOW THEY GET IN THE ALLEY... THOMAS. BRUCE. AND MARTHA...
    AND WAS THE KILLER REALLY JOKER......

  • mee says:

    WHAT CLOTHES MARTHA WAYNE WERE IN THAT PICTURE.... AND HAS HE A ULSTER WITH STOLA. WHEN SHE WAS MURDERD BY JOKER..

  • Anonymous says:

    YOU NEED IMMEDIATE PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP

  • Bruce wayne says:

    You are a stupid shit head.Look you fucking bastard thomas was trying to find the quickest way to get home, unfortunetly they were robbed, the question is , If u WES were with you family and someone tied to mug you infront of you wife and child , wouldnt you try to fight back? wouldnt you strike the man that rips the neckless off your wifes neck. It was a windy night and he was unable to hale a cab.what would you do if you couldnt get a cab?. wouldnt you go to a area that had cabs?,they were just passing through the tha ally when they were attacked.

  • Wes says:

    Glad to see you enjoyed the article, "Mr. wayne"! For the answer to your first two questions, reread point #1. Regarding the latter two questions, Thomas Wayne didn't need a cab. He's rich and had a private butler and chauffeur, remember? So we see that Wayne had no business dragging his family through that alley. Why did he, then? 'Cause he was an asshole. 😛

  • yeah says:

    but i dont still gets how its happend..if i were alley with my wife and kid..i f i had..i would take a gun with me..

  • Andi says:

    I was sick the other day. When browsing the Internet, I found this article. Cleary after the prolouge, I had a smile on my face.

    Thank you for making my day. I am somewhat of a Batman fan, I felt hardly offended by reading this. This puts everything in a "new" light or a funnier one, might I add.

    Once again, thank you for making me laugh.

  • Wes says:

    Back at you, Andi -- comments like this make my day as well. 🙂 Hope you're feeling better now!

  • wht says:

    why in the name of hell was martha wearing necklace..if i had a wife i told him not to wear

  • WHT says:

    I DONT GET IT A NECKLACE

  • joos, says:

    marthas necklace was rip of...i think she was good looking in his clothes

  • Lisa says:

    You may have already seen this... but it does a lot to support your theory of an abusive Thomas Wayne.... Becaus that's obviously where Bruce learned this from... >

  • Wes says:

    Ha! Thanks for the link, Lisa -- these pics are pretty funny. And considering that Batman and Robin sent Joker a Christmas card in jail, we've got positive proof that some of the father's assholery rubbed off on the son as well...

    Every murder that the Joker has ever committed in order to brass Batman off is now officially justified.

  • mee says:

    i think martha looks great

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