October 10, 2007
Count 03: Nate & Worm Breath

Creepy Freaks Starter Set #2!

As you can see, we're still not into the mystery boxes -- we've got one more starter set to go before we delve into the contents of those long-buried cardboard enclosures. There's not much else to be said on that front, so let's get right to it!

Nate's got a thing for monster chicks.

Like his younger brother Lucas, Nate isn't technically a Creepy Freak -- he's one of the human team leaders. As such, unless you were bullied by jocks throughout high school and find teens in football jerseys to be particularly unsettling, the only remotely creepy or freaky thing about Nate is his choice of playmates. Then again, several of the female Creepy Freaks are actually quite hot, so it's quite possible that he's only playing along in order to get his shot at a sexy Gorgon schoolgirl or a flaming hot (literally) alien supermodel. But if this is true, the fact that Nate's willing to hang out with all sorts of nasty creatures for this purpose considerably ups his creepy and freaky (not to mention desperate) ratings.

Worm Breath is one creepy, freaky dude.

Worm Breath is probably the creepiest and freakiest of the Creepy Freaks yet. At first glance he appears to be a horrible fish monster -- which is more scary than creepy by any account -- but a closer look reveals certain vulnerabilities that reduce him to oddball status. Foremost among these is the fact that he's wearing orange flotation devices on his arms, which suggests that, despite being a fish monster, he can't swim... which kinda makes him seem less like a bona fide fish monster and more like a creepy deformed kid who just happens to look like a fish monster. And insofar as Worm Breath isn't really a fish monster, his diet (as implied by his name) also makes him creepy and freaky, since only a legitimate fish monster would be justified in eating worms. Making matters worse, he doesn't even really eat them -- he just sort of lets them sit in his mouth until the time comes for him to reach inside and throw handfuls of them at his opponents during Creepy Freaks games. It's roughly the equivalent of a kid storing Yu-Gi-Oh cards in his ass, which would be pretty creepy and freaky (and fucking nasty) by all accounts.

Next time: Tulips and Frosty the Snotman!

-posted by Wes | 4:56 am Comments (4)
4 Comments »
  • Greg says:

    "Making matters worse, he doesn't even really eat them -- he just sort of lets them sit in his mouth until the time comes for him to reach inside and throw handfuls of them at his opponents during Creepy Freaks games."

    Well, Worm Breath sounds a lot like the Boogeyman:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z98tydVAgzs

  • Albert says:

    Barely anybody comments on these. You should put them all on the front page and have them all linked in one place as you go along.

  • Wes says:

    Yeah, I think people tend to miss them because they're not linked on the front page. I am working on that, though -- especially since I've more/less gotten into the countdown groove! :mrgreen:

  • Wes says:

    Greg: Just watched the video -- how have I never heard of this guy before? You'd think the freakin' BOOGEYMAN would have come up at one point or another during our wrestling convos. 😛

    And having actually seen someone do it, I'm not sure that worm crap qualifies for creepy or freaky anymore. Looks pretty thoroughly disgusting to me.

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