December 31, 2006
Merry Christmas, Amelia Bedelia!

LOOKIT: THE LAST ARTICLE OF 2006! Or the first article of 2007, depending upon when you read this and when I get the content pages uploaded, since there's a pretty good chance that that won't happen until after the big 12:00 on the EC of the USA. I guess it's already 2007 in the UK. Does it really matter? HAPPY NEW YEAR, MINNA-SAN! :mrgreen:

Anyway, to ring in the new year and say goodbye to 2006 and the winter holiday season, we have a summary review and commentary of Merry Christmas, Amelia Bedelia, a children's book featuring a sexy and extremely literal-minded maid. Something tells me that this character is in the wrong country -- I wonder what would have happened if she'd ended up working in Japan instead of America. I doubt that a book chronicling those adventures would be appropriate for children! 😐

Best wishes for 2007, everyone.

-posted by Wes | 11:55 pm | Comments (10)
10 Comments »
  • Kacy says:

    I loved reading Amelia Bedelia stories as a kid! Like the driving test where she thinks there's a bear coming when Mr. Rogers tells her to "bear left", and the one where she's playing baseball and makes off with all the plates. Never saw this particualr one before, though.

  • Molly says:

    Very funny. I will never view this book the same way again.

  • agustinaldo says:

    I think...

    1-I think Amelia's employer IS Mr. Rogers from "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood".

    Such a clueless mind can only come from The Land of Make Believe.

    She was probably Good King Friday's maid until he fired her ass for messing everything she does.

    She probably also keep Trolley in check.

    2-Another theory is that she comes from the Fairly Oddparents' universe, where EVERYONE is a blithering moron.

    The fact that she'd never accept that she's an idiot supports this theory.

  • agustinaldo says:

    On a footnote, I think Amy is meant to represent Charlie Brown from "It's Christmas, Charlie Brown".

    As you remember, Charlie spent most of the special with the same sad eyes and hollow expression, and for most of the special did things he DIDN'T want to do.

    Amelia is obviously meant to represent Linus, as the cheerful best friend who leads a more satisfying life to that of his buddy.

  • agustinaldo says:

    About the whole Santa thing:

    there are people who dress as Santa to amuse the kids of the local neighborhood.

    I know it because there's a scene in "Gremlins" (bar none, the best Christmas movie ever) where the two policemen that Billy Peltzer talked to earlier stop their car outside a house. Out comes a man in a Santa costume crashing out of the window, covered in Gremlins from head to toe. As the poor guy cries for help, one of the policemen says, "Gee, it's Mr. (I can't never remember the name of the guy), the guy who plays Santa every year.", to which the other policeman fearfully says "What are those things he's got all over him?".

    So, Mr. Rogers is simply the guy who plays Santa every year in the town Amelia lives.

  • Wes says:

    Kacy writes, "Like the driving test where she thinks there's a bear coming when Mr. Rogers tells her to 'bear left', and the one where she's playing baseball and makes off with all the plates."

    I vaguely remember the baseball game, but I don't remember the driving test with bears at all! That sounds kind of odd even for an Amelia Bedelia book -- you wouldn't happen to know if it was from one of the more modern ones, would you? I'll have to look for it at the library sometime... I kind of want to review more Amelia Bedelia stories now. 🙂

    Molly writes, "Very funny. I will never view this book the same way again."

    Then we have done our job. 🙂

    agustinaldo writes, "Another theory is that she comes from the Fairly Oddparents' universe, where EVERYONE is a blithering moron," and, "...Mr. Rogers is simply the guy who plays Santa every year in the town Amelia lives."

    Aw, I don't think Amelia Bedelia is a moron at all! I mean, if one has never heard of dates or stuffing stockings (et cetera) before, these responses seem like fairly natural interpretations. In fact, I bet if one were to conduct a poll to ask 100 non-Muslim adults what the dates in a date cake actually are, a fairly high percentage of them would get the answer wrong. And what other kind of date could you find in some sort of physical form? I suppose Amelia could have supplied the other ingredients I suggested (or have cut up Mrs. Rogers's old prom photos and put them into the batter), but the calendar seems like the best and simplest solution here.

    As for Mr. Rogers, your answer would make sense if he'd even tried with the costume -- but as I pointed out, he didn't even wear a friggin' beard! If he was the neighborhood Santa, I'm sure those kids were pretty disappointed that year, since he is obviously just Mr. Rogers in a red suit. No, either that wasn't Mr. Rogers at all, or he and Amelia were playing sex games. Kinky Rogerses.

  • agustinaldo says:

    1-She misinterprets EVERYTHING that is said to her.

    That is the behavior of a moron in my book.

    2-Do you actually believesex games would be included in a CHILDREN'S book?

    Think before you type.

  • Wes says:

    2-Do you actually believesex games would be included in a CHILDREN'S book? ... Think before you type.

    You know, given the amount of thinking I do while working on this site -- and doing anything else -- I think that your comment is pretty fucking insulting! So I think that you should take your own advice, because I think that somehow -- inexplicably -- you continue to misunderstand these kinds of articles. Hell-o, the site is called SCARY-CRAYON for crying out loud. OK. 😐

  • Matto says:

    Wes, you are amazing. These books were some of my favorite books as a kid, and your article did the book justice. However, the thought Amelia Bedelia in Japan is... slightly disturbing, but hell, the site is called Scary-Crayon.

    And this is just a small thought, are you going to review an episode from the old TMNT cartoon, or do a review of the arcade game? After reading most of your articles for a year or so now, I really want to see something like that happen.

  • Mickey says:

    Better late than...umm. Long time listener, first time...um.

    I'm sorry. My mind is so totally in another place that I'm not sure what I'm trying to say:

    ...welcomes some neighborhood kids into her home for unknown reasons...

    I think Amy's real name may be Maria. And maybe the Brig let Sarah Jane, no no no, I mean Amelia (do you see what I mean about not knowing what I'm trying to say?) wear *his* French maid's outfit.

    Mmmm. Sarah Jane in a French maid's outfit...

    Oh, to be a child on Bannerman Road!

    😉

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