February 27, 2005
Another Crayon Haiku farewell.

Another Crayon Haiku farewell.

Another Crayon Haiku farewell.

Once again sadness that accompanies the death of a pet visits Scary-Crayon with the news of little Sake's passing. Rest well, tiny rodent friend! May the streets of mousey Heaven be paved with assorted cheeses.  (2/27/05)

-posted by Wes | 7:50 pm | Comments Off on Another Crayon Haiku farewell.
Constantine: The Hellblazer Collection

Constantine: The Hellblazer Collection

CONSTANTINE, THE HELLBLAZER.

Armed with the sixth sense and a holy shotgun, John Constantine battles Hell's forces to buy his salvation with demon kills! Works for a video game, but a comic based on a movie based on a comic? Pretty weak.  (2/27/05)

-posted by Wes | 4:00 pm | Comments Off on Constantine: The Hellblazer Collection
February 25, 2005
A Crayon Haiku #23!

A Crayon Haiku #23!

A Crayon Haiku #23!

The subject of A Crayon Haiku #23 hails from those days of old when kids killed for the cheap and wacky toys that lived with soggy burgers and lukewarm fries in a happy cardboard house with arches on top. I'm lovin' it!  (2/25/05)

-posted by Wes | 7:49 pm | Comments Off on A Crayon Haiku #23!
Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #23!

DPH: HF #23 -- It's all around you...

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #23!

Be glad you don't work retail! Assuming you don't work retail, that is. In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #23, Wes encounters a customer who HATES being "marketed at." FYI, that's no excuse for being an asshole.  (2/25/05)

-posted by Wes | 4:57 am | Comments Off on Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #23!
February 22, 2005
KUNG PAO SHRIMP …IN A BUN!!!

Kung Pao Shrimp ...in a bun!

KUNG PAO SHRIMP ...IN A BUN!!!

In the first of several Forkless Gourmet Bun Meal reviews, Scary-Crayon flies in the face of reason and tackles the latest find from the dollar store freezer. How does kung pao shrimp in a bun taste? Read on to find out!  (2/22/05)

-posted by Wes | 6:36 pm | Comments Off on KUNG PAO SHRIMP …IN A BUN!!!
Kung Pao Shrimp and Whack History Month!

Two new articles today -- a Foodstuffs review of the Forkless Gourmet's Kung Pao Shrimp Bun Meal and, at long last, the fifth installment of Dusty Plastic HELL! Alas, it's not the continuation of Krang's quest for a body, but a serious comic about Black Whack History Month -- probably the most serious thing on SC. Anyway, enjoy!  ^^;

-posted by Wes | 5:26 pm | Comments (0)
DUSTY PLASTIC HELL #5!!!

Dusty Plastic HELL #5 -- WHACK HISTORY MONTH

DUSTY PLASTIC HELL #5!!!

In the long-awaited fifth episode of Dusty Plastic HELL, a young Raphael approaches Morpheus with a question about Black History Month. Always a speaker of truth, Morpheus pulls no punches and tells it like it is.  (2/22/05)

-posted by Wes | 4:57 am | Comments Off on DUSTY PLASTIC HELL #5!!!
February 19, 2005
Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #22!

DPH: HF #22 -- Look 10 Pounds Thinner!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #22!

To counter Oprah's bullshit, Koyu and Rugi step foward in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #22, to offer some real advice to help women look 10 pounds thinner. Why the hell do people keep listening to that harpy?!  (2/19/05)

-posted by Wes | 4:56 am | Comments Off on Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #22!
February 17, 2005
Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #21!

DPH: HF #21 -- Your Breast Life Now

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #21!

In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #21, it's back to the bookstore for more wacky adventures in the world of retail! Here, Wes encounters a rather well-endowed customer... and let's just say that DDs aren't easily ignored.  (2/17/05)

-posted by Wes | 4:55 am | Comments Off on Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #21!
February 14, 2005
A Valentine’s Day Crayon Haiku!

A Crayon Haiku, Valentine's Day Edition!

A Valentine's Day Crayon Haiku!

Happy Valentine's Day from the Turtles and the Scoobies! And Scary-Crayon, of course. For this V-Day Crayon Haiku, we scanned two cards from our collection of valentines and wrote stuff under them. We <3 you, btw.  (2/14/05)

-posted by Wes | 7:49 pm | Comments Off on A Valentine’s Day Crayon Haiku!
Happy Valentine’s Day!

We're back! For Scary-Crayon's V-Day return, we've got two new short pieces for you -- a special Valentine's Day edition of A Crayon Haiku and Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #20, which tells the love story of Harold and Maude in six frames. Enjoy!

-posted by Wes | 2:22 pm | Comments (0)
Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #20!

DPH: HF #20 -- Harold and Maude in six frames.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #20!

On this day of luv, Scary-Crayon summarizes Harold and Maude, in which 20-year-old Harold meets 79-year-old Maude and proceeds to fuck her. The beauty of the film can't be captured in six frames, but we tried.  (2/14/05)

-posted by Wes | 4:55 am | Comments Off on Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #20!
February 2, 2005
A Crayon Haiku #22!

A Crayon Haiku #22!

A Crayon Haiku #22!

This four-part installment of A Crayon Haiku takes us back to those easy, breezy days of childhood, when things were simple and a small toy leopard with paper taped to it was as good a Jagwar toy as any. I <3 you, Jagwar.  (2/2/05)

-posted by Wes | 7:48 pm | Comments Off on A Crayon Haiku #22!
Seeya when I seeya!

Greetings all! Sorry to disappoint, but I'm skipping out of town for a few days so I wouldn't expect any new updates for a week and a half or so. I know, I know, but I've left you with three short pieces to keep you busy for all of three or four minutes -- A Crayon Haiku #22 and Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flashes #18 and #19. Yeah, it's not much, but there's plenty of stuff in the section archives to look over while I'm gone. Enjoy! I'll be back with more insanity before you know it. Ja.  🙂

-posted by Wes | 7:31 am | Comments (0)
Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #19!

DPH: HF #19 -- It's not a newspaper.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #19!

FINALLY... Bacardi has come BACK (!!!) to Scary-Crayon. He's a bit stumped in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #19, though, as he can't guess the answer to Eve L.'s joke! But then, Eve's always had an odd sense of humor...  (2/2/05)

-posted by Wes | 4:54 am | Comments Off on Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #19!
Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #18!

DPH: HF #18 -- A pseudo-philosophical dialogue.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #18!

By popular demand, that wacky duo consisting of Kain and Wild Boar Alien returns once again to Scary-Crayon in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #18! Marvel at the wisdom imparted in their psuedo-philosophical dialogue.  (2/2/05)

-posted by Wes | 4:54 am | Comments Off on Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #18!
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