A Crayon Haiku #35!

Everybody is kung-fu fighting in A Crayon Haiku #35! Terry Tsurugi stands victorious over his rival, but his adventures are far from finished! Indeed, the legendary street fighter shall return… perhaps sooner than we think.  (12/7/05)

HARRY POTTER AND WHAT?

Once again, Scary-Crayon deigns to address the world of Harry Potter! However, despite the title of Harry Potter and Philosophy, Rowling’s young wizard plays little more than a supporting role in this particular book.  (12/7/05)

You know what? If you read today’s book review in its entirety, GOOD FOR YOU. I honestly hadn’t planned on it being so long, but that’s what happens when I attempt to write an article at 4 AM while half-asleep! And apologies for the very general comments and analogies used in the course of the review. Naturally, I prefer to use actual quotes from the books to illustrate my points, but seeing as how I had to return this one to the library and didn’t have it in my possession when I wrote it up I kinda had to improvise. Ah well — chalk up any flaws in the review to my obvious attempt to reflect the particular problems of the book itself. 😉

Speaking of long, what the hell is up with these menus on the Harry Potter DVDs? I’m sure there are people out there who love the animated menus and transitions after one makes selections, but I could do without waiting through a minute of film clips every time I want to return to the main menu! Glad I only paid $5.88 apiece for these things.

And we’ve also got another Crayon Haiku! Hurrah!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #65!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #65 sees that delectable news reporter research assistant, April O’Neil, waking up in a strange place. How did she get there? What is going on?!? Read on to discover the shocking truth!  (12/2/05)

And we send you into the weekend with Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #65, another perverted little comic utilizing TMNT screencaps — this time from the new show. By the way, is it me, or is April one of the most unprofessionally dressed lab assistants in the history of lab assistants?

I mean seriously. She’s got the lab coat, but what’s up with the exposed midriff? I’d always wondered how she’d gotten such an apparently good job in the new series (I mean, she’s working with the Baxter Stockman!) while being so young and apparently having very few connections, given that she’s forced to stay with Casey Jones and a bunch of mutant turtles when her home is burned, but I suppose the answer has been staring me in the face the whole time. Kinda reminds me of a poem I once wrote.

And in case you missed yesterday’s updates, don’t forget to check out The Experimental Oyster Loaf 2 and our Hot Flash tribute to Pat Morita! Regarding our winged, waxing friend, I’ve always thought that angels should have blue skin — but maybe that shows the extent to which X-Men comics have influenced my thinking over the years.

The Experimental OYSTER LOAF 2!

Once, long ago, Wes learned of the mythical oyster loaf — a legendarily delicious Hooters menu item. Alas, the dish doesn’t exist, but that hasn’t kept us from trying to create it! BEHOLD! The Experimental Oyster Loaf 2.  (12/1/05)

Never one to be satisfied with our previous forays into the world of culinary intrigue, Scary-Crayon once again boldly attempts to discover the recipe of the fabled oyster loaf in The Experimental Oyster Loaf 2! Additionally, if you’ve forgotten about the first experiment, you can read about that here — and, as noted at the conclusion of today’s article, the experiments shall continue. SO STAY TUNED!

Also, today SC honors beloved actor Pat Morita with a special edition Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash. R.I.P. Miyagi-san — you were pretty okay.

In Memoriam, A DPH Hot Flash.

Best known for his role in The Karate Kid, Pat Morita was in like ten billion movies before passing away on Nov. 24, 2005. In this Hot Flash tribute, Scary-Crayon remembers the beloved actor. Rest in peace, Miyagi-san.  (12/1/05)