So here's the first of those "That's So Raven" articles I promised -- a rather serious analysis of "True Colors", the Black History Month episode. Like I say before posting all of these articles, while this is Scary-Crayon and my primary intent with the site is to entertain you folks, I do hope that occasionally my writings provide some food for thought and/or encourage you to consider things from another perspective. So read, comment, let me know what you think, etc., whether it's general remarks about the show or comments concerning today's deeper subject matter.

By the way, regarding the last such piece on Scary-Crayon, my Wikipedia research alerted me to the apparent fact that George Washington Carver was not the inventor of peanut butter. I find this incredibly interesting, seeing as how I'm almost certain that I was taught this information during one of the Black History Month units in elementary school. Now I'm not suggesting that teachers intentionally misinformed us in order to bolster the accomplishments of so-called "African-Americans", but the apparent thoroughness of the curriculum research (that is, the lack of it) leads me to wonder about the sincerity of these attempts to enlighten students about "black history," especially since I've never heard a compelling reason for studying it (as opposed to addressing these individuals in the context of their respective accomplishments).

Anyway, ponder and enjoy! Next time we'll have lighter fare for you.

It's been a while since we had a game review, kiddies, so here it is -- a lengthy examination of X-Men II: The Fall of the Mutants. In addition to an introduction that touches on the similarities and differences between this early X-Men game and the more recent X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse and a ton of screencaps, there's also a strategy guide of sorts to help out readers who are eager to play the game for themselves! And I totally recommend doing so. As noted in the review, you can get it from Home of the Underdogs, a gaming site with tons of abandonware games available for download. If you're running a newer computer, you'll have to use VDMSound or DOSBox (apparently folks prefer the former, though I've had far more success running old games with DOSBox). Both are commandline programs, though, so while VDMS integrates itself into the Windows shell (I can't speak for other OSes!), you'll probably want to use a frontend like D-Fend for DOSBox. Anyway, enjoy the review, and good luck getting the game up and running! And, um, excelsior!

He made another funny!

Hiya! We've got two short pieces for you this evening: A Crayon Haiku #46 and Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #76. I don't have a whole lot else to add, but goodness, after seeing what I saw before snapping the haiku shot I really wonder what the hell is wrong with people. Or is my sense of what looks good totally off base? You tell me...

Yes, tomorrow is Valentine's Day -- and whether you're reveling in your loving relationship or are sadly alone (*hugs*), Scary-Crayon's here to bring you a little love with two new articles! While our brief assessment of Triton's Chocolate Dipped Banana Bits may provide a bit of amusement and a potential gift recommendation for readers who happen to be dating gorillas, our lengthy review of not one, not two, but three varieties of LifeStyles Flavored Condoms is really the main attraction, if only because I wear bunny ears throughout the entire article for some inexplicable reason. Could the drunkenness have anything to do with it? Possibly.

I type very well when I am drunk. Anyway, happy Valentine's Day!

P.S. Here's another clip to try viewing at home. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

You know, I actually had to leave my room and go outside to shoot the last panel of Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #77. Like, where it's cold and stuff. I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE IT! I'm also planning to get some special V-Day pieces up in the next couple of days, but I guess this comic's kinda relevant to the theme of the day as well. Consider it a preview, then.

Warm it up
La la la la la

Seeing as how a new article went up yesterday afternoon (be sure to read that if you haven't already), I'd intended to post Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #75 tomorrow, but I figured what the hell. What the hell, indeed, because that's exactly what I said when I heard they were filming a movie about gay cowboys. A movie about gay cowboys! And not only that, but people are raving about it. Raving about it in a country that will fight tooth and nail to prevent gay couples from receiving conjugal rights and would probably outlaw homosexuality if the courts would allow it. Amazing.

For my part, I don't want to see a movie about gay cowboys. This is not a serious premise. This is a "South Park" joke taken to the extreme (sans pudding). I remember a while back, around the time Titanic's popularity was soaring, a comedian did a bit about how taking any historical event or tragedy and turning it into a love story was a surefire way of making a box office smash -- and sure enough, several films of that period employed just that technique and did surprisingly well. Nowadays, however, it seems that all you need to do is take some sort of rugged historical occupation and make the characters gay. I want to see a movie about gay samurai. Gay pirates. Gay cavemen. A silent film about gay cavemen.

I'm seriously going to write that last one.

Sorry about the lack of updates last week, but I'm back this Superbowl Sunday with another piece that's somewhat appropriate, given one of the major draws of the game for non-football fans. The title of the latest article pretty much says it all, though I think in the course of writing it I developed even more contempt for these advertising spots than I already had.

God, they're awful. Awful, I tell you.

Well, it's been kinda slow since last week's celebratory festivities (personally, I blame the stale cereal), but here's A Crayon Haiku #45 to assure y'all that I'm not dead over here. I am, however, buried in spam, as this is really freaking unbelievable. By the way, the haiku makes reference to this film, which despite having purchased multiple copies I have never seen to conclusion because every copy invariably cops out on me at some point during the movie. I like the blue-haired android girl, though.

More substantial content to come!