January 30, 2008
A Crayon Haiku #71! (content pages)

He's baaaa-aaaack...

A Crayon Haiku #71!

Grodd proves that you can't keep an evil gorilla down -- and that, like in comic books and on Super Friends, his appearance has been known to change considerably -- in A Crayon Haiku #71. I love the purple cape.  (1/30/08)

-posted by Wes | 8:28 pm | Comments Off on A Crayon Haiku #71! (content pages)
More Gorilla Grodd in A Crayon Haiku #71!

More paint than gorilla.

Yeah, I know I said I wouldn't, but then -- as seen in A Crayon Haiku #71 -- I decided to give Grodd one last go with the brush. I didn't like how the black fur looked dull to the point of almost being grey, so I went out and got some gloss black last night and tried that... but then that was way too shiny, so I mixed it with some of the original black paint and went at it again. I like this level of shine -- it's not too intense, but it's noticeable enough and definitely looks black. I also decided I wanted more contrast between the grey areas and the black, so I went over them with a lighter grey mix comparable to Ed McGuiness's depiction of Grodd in the early issues of JLA: Classified. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 7:40 pm | Comments (5)
January 29, 2008
A Crayon Haiku #70! (content pages)

Grodd likes the star-spangled booty.

A Crayon Haiku #70!

Animals attack in A Crayon Haiku #70! Gorilla Grodd's not devouring hostages or hurling cars through buildings this time around, but he's still a pretty dangerous customer... especially if you're a member of the fairer sex.  (1/29/08)

-posted by Wes | 2:28 am | Comments (0)
A Crayon Haiku #70!

I still don't have that other piece ready (image work's finished, though; here's a preview), but here's another quick Crayon Haiku. Admittedly, the reason that I've been largely preoccupied this weekend is pictured here: Gorilla Grodd, otherwise known as King Kong with about a billion coats of black and grey paint. In keeping with my continuing DC comics/character obsession, I've been following the DC Universe Classics toyline very closely (despite not being able to find the toys in stores for the life of me, grrr) -- and one of the things that's made me rather annoyed is that they decided to make Gorilla Grodd the build-a-figure for the second wave.

Now, I can see making Grodd a BAF. Despite the fact that all of the stats I can find on the 'net put him at 6'6" and 300 lbs., a good chunk of the recent comic depictions of him have made him this huge hulking beast thing with red eyes and an appetite for human flesh. Okay. But the second wave of DCUC figures is incredibly lame -- with the exception of Harley Quinn, which I do want, these are the characters that, in their DC Direct incarnations, I frequently find marked down to $6 or less at Suncoast and even then nobody wants them. I could see going for Black Manta too (though I suspect that I'll be able to snag the recent DCD version of him on the cheap in the coming weeks, and I'm not particularly concerned if my background characters are superarticulated or not), and I know folks like Aquaman (I don't), but this is still a crappy wave. So me spending $50 on these losers just to get Grodd? Not gonna happen. And there is a DC Direct Grodd currently on the shelves, which I pondered getting when I ran into it a couple of weeks ago, but I'm really not a fan of the howling at the moon headsculpt. What's up with that? I could see picking it up on clearance -- if it gets there -- but I wanted me a Grodd now. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 2:00 am | Comments (3)
January 26, 2008
The Care Bears and Madballs Crossover (content pages)

A Care Bears/Madballs crossover?!?!?


...together! There have been plenty of amazing comic book crossovers, but none so unlikely as the 1987 meeting of the Care Bears and the Madballs. Intrigued? Then check it out here, but beware: awful puns abound.  (1/26/08)

-posted by Wes | 7:51 pm | Comments Off on The Care Bears and Madballs Crossover (content pages)
When Care Bears Meet Madballs!

And here it is -- a complete summary review of Care Bears Vol. 1, #13. At just over 1MB, the total size of the files on the page is larger than I generally like to have, but I wanted to post it all today on a single page. With multiple pages it's way too tempting for me to break the article up into sections, and we all know how that turns out. I still haven't finished reviewing the QC Dinobots. 😐

Anyway, I've still got at least one more piece planned for tomorrow -- Monday at the latest -- to continue SC's fourth anniversary celebration, so stay tuned! :mrgreen:

-posted by Wes | 7:40 pm | Comments (6)
January 25, 2008
A Crayon Haiku #69! (content pages)

Let the universe howl in despair... again!

A Crayon Haiku #69!

In the last haiku, we saw the DC heroes defeated by an evil new member of the toy collection. Today, we learn that he is not alone! Together... just the two of them... they will discover the secret of the anti-life equation.  (1/25/08)

-posted by Wes | 4:41 pm | Comments Off on A Crayon Haiku #69! (content pages)
Happy FOURTH Birthday, Scary-Crayon!!!

Yes, Scary-Crayon turns FOUR. YEARS. OLD. today! Hard to believe it's been so long, but there you go. I know that there weren't as many updates last year as there had been in previous years, and I'm not terribly happy about that, but I hope that either a) I update more this year or b) the updates, however frequently they come, consistently rank among the site's better offerings in their respective categories. And I also hope that other readers (that is, YOU!) will contribute submissions from time to time! At the very least, I hope that 2008 is another fun year for SC.

So this might seem like kind of a lackluster way to celebrate -- and a not terribly encouraging way to kick off SC's fifth year -- but here's A Crayon Haiku #69. I've admittedly been feeling a bit under the weather this week -- and by that I mean the cold, cold, cold weather, so I've spent much of my time shivering beneath blankets and not writing the articles that I meant to write for today. BUT I have done most of the photography and image work for them, so I'm still planning to have them up this weekend. What this means is that while today's festivities may be a bit lacking, the celebration will continue throughout the next couple of days (or just tomorrow, depending upon how productive I am this evening and tomorrow morning/afternoon) with additional updates. I may even have another piece up before the day is over! And to prove to you that at least one of these articles is something that'll definitely be worth the wait, here's a scan:

The Care Bears meet the Madballs!

Oh. yes. in-. deedy.

Also -- can't recall if I've mentioned it here before or not -- there's new merch in the SC Cafepress store featuring the revised Crayon Critter design that appears in the current site header graphic. If you're strapped for cash but still want to wear some SC love, I definitely recommend the value tee. The other items are a bit pricier (except for the buttons!), but should still be great if you've got the extra dollars to spend. While Cafepress can be kinda high in terms of prices, I've never received anything but top-quality merch from them.

Okay, that's all for now -- back to writing articles for me! Perhaps more in a few hours, or tomorrow morning at the very latest, I'll have some Careballs love for y'all. 🙂


-posted by Wes | 4:30 pm | Comments (1)
January 20, 2008
The Lion That Wore Glasses (content pages)

That lion is wearing glasses.


Short fiction returns to Scary-Crayon with an all-new story entitled "The Lion That Wore Glasses"! Well, technically it's an old story, but still. And no, the title's not trying to be clever: it really is about a glasses-wearing lion.  (1/20/08)

-posted by Wes | 3:30 am | Comments Off on The Lion That Wore Glasses (content pages)
New Short Story: The Lion That Wore Glasses

And here's that short story I promised: "The Lion That Wore Glasses". I actually wrote this back in 2005 and sort of forgot about it after a few failed attempts to get it published for money. Upon rediscovering it recently and rereading it in full before posting it, however, I've recalled how much fun I had writing it. I can completely understand why the fiction magazines didn't want to print it -- it is an odd and curiously pretentious piece that, like dreams and other similarly strange narratives, doesn't really have an obvious point -- but then again that's the kind of stuff I enjoy reading and writing the most. It's telling that Kafka is one of my favorite authors and Waking Life is one of my favorite films.

Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy the story as much as I do! I remember being pretty discouraged about my inability to sell it back in the day -- after all, I am quite fond of the story and don't like to see things I enjoy rejected -- but I'm still glad that I wrote it. 🙂

All for now, then. Expect new articles when Scary-Crayon turns FOUR YEARS OLD this Friday! Draw a little cake (one that is not a lie) in the Jan 25 box on your calendars or something. :mrgreen:

-posted by Wes | 3:16 am | Comments (8)
January 18, 2008
A Crayon Haiku #68! (content pages)

''The skies will rain fire. The oceans will boil...''

A Crayon Haiku #68!

The formerly hero-centric (sorta; the 'zarro twins mean well!) DC Comics action figure collection of Scary-Crayon is rocked by the arrival of its latest addition in A Crayon Haiku #68. Let the universe howl in despair!  (1/18/08)

-posted by Wes | 7:13 pm | Comments Off on A Crayon Haiku #68! (content pages)
A Crayon Haiku #68!

Here's a quickie for y'all: A Crayon Haiku #68. If you've been reading my personal blog, you know that I've been in the grip of an obsession with the Justice League and related DC Comics characters -- which, with me, naturally entails amassing a (not necessarily) reasonable-sized collection of figures from said universe(s). Darkseid was one of my most coveted figures, so I'm glad to have finally acquired him! You might also have read that I got a light tent over the holidays -- you can see lots of test photos on my blog, but this haiku marks the first official use of it for SC. That said, I also messed with some filters to grittify the photos for the heck of it. :mrgreen:

I've got another update planned for the weekend as well (another short story, woo!), so stay tuned for that. And remember, the site's four-year anniversary is just a week away -- so if you want to submit articles, make donations, and so forth to help commemorate the occasion and support SC into its fifth year, do feel free! All for now, then -- Ja. 🙂

-posted by Wes | 6:46 pm | Comments (2)
January 4, 2008
Submission guidelines (content pages)

Now taking submissions!


That's right -- Scary-Crayon is now taking submissions! Well, we always kinda sorta were, but now it's officially official. Wanna submit? Read the lengthy guidelines first so you know just what you're getting into.  (1/4/08)

-posted by Wes | 6:07 pm | Comments Off on Submission guidelines (content pages)
Now taking submissions!

Well, technically we were always taking them, but I've finally posted the submission guidelines in an official capacity -- so if you're thinking of submitting, please do read them! They do go on for a while, but hopefully they're not too dull a read. And like I say in the article, don't let them discourage you from submitting if you really want to contribute! The site turns four years old (*gasp!*) on January 25, and I'd love to have some guest pieces on hand for the celebration. 😀

In other news, since my link to Ice Anvil Online was apparently dead, it's been replaced with another link I'd meant to add a while ago but kinda lost track of -- Random Action Hour. This site is actually part of a larger hub with a lot of cool stuff, but since there are all kinds of link buttons for the specific parts I decided to go with this one. Lots of fun cartoon recaps, including the two "Street Fighter" episodes we reviewed a while ago. 🙂

And speaking of links, I took care of this a while ago -- back when I added the Creepy Freaks Halloween Countdown image to the sidebar on the main and category archives, I believe -- but Popho.com and Warehouse8 are also included in the list now. So yes, plenty of sites for you to check out while you're waiting for the next SC update.

Of course, you could also use that time to work on a submission. :mrgreen:

-posted by Wes | 5:19 pm | Comments (7)
January 1, 2008
George and the Christmas Star! (content pages)

That'd look great atop a Christmas tree, eh...?


George and the Christmas Star -- the story of one man's quest to retrieve the Star of Bethlehem and stick it atop his Christmas tree -- is the official favorite holiday special of Scary-Crayon. Read our review to find out why!  (1/1/08)

-posted by Wes | 9:31 pm | Comments Off on George and the Christmas Star! (content pages)
Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #103 (content pages)

When predators attack, Chris Hansen is on the case!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #103!

Dateline NBC's "To Catch a Predator" is the kind of show you'll likely go to Hell for enjoying -- and in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #103, we spotlight one of the reasons it's so hilarious. These predators are idiots.  (1/1/08)

-posted by Wes | 9:13 pm | Comments Off on Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #103 (content pages)
HAPPY NEW YEAR from Scary-Crayon!!!

And to kick off 2008, we've got two new pieces for you! First, Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #103 makes fun of a recent "guest" on Dateline NBC's "To Catch a Predator" segment, which is seriously some of the funniest stuff on TV today despite not really being funny at all. I mean, these guys are child predators and deserve everything they get for actively trying to have sex with children, but I still can't imagine how terrible it feels not only to lose everything, but to know that your moment of ultimate shame will be broadcast on national television for the entertainment of the viewing public. And yet I just can't help but laugh -- especially when individuals walk in expecting to have oral sex with a twelve-year-old girl and, when confronted by Chris Hansen, mistake him for some kind of benevolent fairy god-therapist. Hilarity.

And then there's our review of George and the Christmas Star, which is the Christmas-themed article I promised before but am just now getting around to posting. Apologies for the delay, but hopefully you'll find it to be a worthwhile and amusing read even though it's a bit late. I really do mean the sappy stuff at the end, by the way -- I very much appreciate that you take time out of your schedule to drop by and read my goofy and insignificant thoughts on action figures and TV shows and whatnot. 🙂

Here's to another year together, minna-san! :mrgreen:

-posted by Wes | 8:57 pm | Comments (7)
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