Bits & Pieces

Genesis of the Homemade Daleks: Part 1!

HOMEMADE DALEKS: PART 1

Dalekmania continues on Scary-Crayon with a rare arts ‘n’ crafts feature: Genesis of the Homemade Daleks: Part 1! Join us for one (mostly) kid-friendly method of creating a 3″ Dalek. In part 2, we’ll explore another!  (7/26/06)

Happy Father's Day, Buraiking Boss!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, BK BOSS!!!

And no, that doesn’t stand for Burger King! For this year’s annual Father’s Day tribute, we honor Buraiking Boss — the principal protagonist of the Casshan animes and the 2004 live action film. All hail Buraiking!  (6/18/06)

The 4+1 SCARIEST 39¢ Easter Cards!!!

4+1 SCARY 39¢ EASTER CARDS!!!

In what’s becoming a holiday tradition on Scary-Crayon, we take time out this Sunday to look at four utterly terrifying 39¢ Easter cards and an additional offering from outside the Christian section. It’s scary stuff.  (4/16/06)

Welcome to Disney-Crayon!

WELCOME TO DISNEY-CRAYON!!!

For April Fool’s Day 2006, Scary-Crayon descended into horror and madness and became Disney-Crayon! Does anybody else remember when the stuff Disney produced was actually good? I really miss those days.  (4/1/06)

The LifeStyles Flavored Condoms Review!!!

FLAVORED CONDOMS REVIEWED!

It’s Valentine’s Day, minna-san — and in the interest of helping you to plan tonight’s bedroom activities, your old pal Wes has taste-tested several of LifeStyles’ flavored condom offerings. Read on for the full review!  (2/13/06)

Santa Claus is HO HO HORRIBLE.

Santa Claus is HO HO HORRIBLE.

Hope y’all had a happy holiday, everyone! But now that you’ve drunk your eggnog and eaten your fill of festive cheer, it’s time for a big fat slice of truth. And here it is, kiddies: Santa Claus is HO HO HORRIBLE.  (12/30/05)

The Five SCARIEST 39¢ Christmas Cards!

FIVE SCARY CHRISTMAS CARDS!

Last time, we examined scary 39¢ Halloween cards. Now, we apply our analytical skill to The Five SCARIEST 39¢ Christmas Cards! If you don’t think that Christmas cards can be scary, you haven’t read this article yet.  (12/19/05)

The Donatello Christmas Tradition!

The Donatello X-mas Tradition!

So, this is Christmas… we hope you have fun! Or at least that’s the idea behind The Donatello Christmas Tradition, our festive attempt to brighten kids’ days by introducing them to the green dude who does machines.  (12/16/05)

Clean Christian Comedy...?

CLEAN CHRISTIAN COMEDY…?

Apparently there’s a whole subgenre of clean comedy for the Christian crowd — and Wes recently attended a show! Read on as we sorta review it and attempt to answer this question: What is clean Christian comedy?  (11/16/05)

Crayon Song Parody #2 -- ''April''

CRAYON SONG PARODY #2!

Cover your ears — Crayon Song Parody #2 is coming to a MP3 player near you! Assuming you download the file and listen, that is. Today’s parody is entitled “April” and is sung to the tune of The Rolling Stones’ “Angie”.  (11/3/05)

Five SCARY 39¢ Halloween Cards!!!

Five SCARY 39¢ Halloween Cards!

And on the spooky holiday itself, Scary-Crayon brings you even more Halloween-themed entertainment with The Five SCARIEST 39¢ Halloween Cards! Want to know what makes a card scary? Read on… if you dare!  (10/31/05)

I heart Nurse Honey.

HELL NOOOOO NURSE!

In a time of sickness and disease, Scary-Crayon boldly asks, “Where have all the sexy nurses gone?” Join us as we explore the discrepancies between the ideal nurse and the sad reality in Hell Nooooo NURSE!  (10/4/05)

Eeeew...

SPIDER-MAN IS GROSS.

Look out — here comes the Spider-Man! And come he does, spewing semen all over NYC and its citizens. In this article, we examine the evidence for and implications of the disturbing reality that Spider-Man is gross.  (9/30/05)

The Infernal Realm of Paid Surveys.

BEWARE THE SURVEY BEAST.

Lacking employment and lacking funds, young Wesley braved the infernal realm of paid surveys to make some money for Scary-Crayon. Succeed he did — but at what cost? The paid survey path is paved with terror.  (9/27/05)

Asshole.

BATMAN’S DAD WAS AN ASSHOLE.

Everyone’s always pretended that Thomas Wayne was a great man — but, in truth, the guy was an asshole. He beat his son; he beat his wife; he tried to beat those crooks but they shot him first. He got what he deserved. (9/13/05)

Happy Father's Day, M. Bison!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, M. BISON!

It’s (almost) Father’s Day, which means it’s time for another Scary-Crayon tribute piece! This year’s honoree? M. Bison! True, Bison didn’t even have any kids, but he was still a father in more ways than one.  (6/18/05)

Crayon Song Parody #1

CRAYON SONG PARODY # 1!

Yep, here’s another ongoing Scary-Crayon featurette. In this first installment, Wes not only rewrites the lyrics to a classic song, but then proceeds to sing said song. The horror! But everyone likes free mp3s, right?  (4/21/05)

Happy Birthday, Scary-Crayon!!!

Happy Birthday, Scary-Crayon!!!

To commemorate Scary-Crayon’s first year, we’ve got a special tribute piece. In addition to fun images, prose, and haikus from readers and pals, learn the “meaning” of the site’s name! Hurrah for useless trivia!  (1/25/05)