Bits & Pieces

The HULK CD review!!!

DO THE HULK STOMP, ALRIGHT!!!

Scary-Crayon's first music CD review takes us to a very scary place as we rock out with the Hulk and his friends in Hulk's self-titled album! Listen in awe as Captain America plays the bass for the delight of little children.  (1/25/05)

The TRUTH about Santa Claus...

THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA CLAUS.

Yeah, Christmas has come and gone, but it's never too late to learn the TRUTH. Here, Scary-Crayon shares the true origins of Santa Claus... suffice it to say that he wasn't always the jolly old elf we know and love.  (12/31/04)

How to write a 50,000 word novel in a month

How to write A 50,000 word novel...

...in a month! In this piece, Wes imparts some of the tips he picked up during National Novel Writing Month so that you too can pen a 50K+ word novel in thirty days or less! Of course, nobody said it would be good...  (12/6/04)

ELECTION 2004!!!

IT'S TIME FOR ELECTION 2004!!!

In just one day, Americans will head to the polls to participate in ELECTION 2004 -- where, among other things, the battle for the U.S. Presidency will be decided. The top contenders? A monkey and a zombie.  (11/1/04)

You nasty little...

THE HAPPY SHIT-SNIFFERS.

Have you ever walked in a bathroom, seen some people loitering in there, and thought to yourself, "Okay, just what the fuck are these guys doing in here???" They may have been waiting around to sniff your shit.  (10/26/04)

He's not fucking into you.

HE'S NOT FUCKING INTO YOU.

Having trouble figuring out whether that man in your life is truly interested? Forget He's Just Not Into You -- turn to Scary-Crayon's He's Not Fucking Into You for the answers! A must-read for women everywhere.  (10/13/04)

Bloody hell.

LEARN SOME NETIQUETTTE, F00!!!

In this didactic offering, Leatherhead and Donatello go over a few netiquette rules that everyone who browses the web should know. You'd think they'd be obvious... but apparently not everyone does. Think, that is.  (9/24/04)

MEE-OWR!!!

HALLE BERRY *IS* CATWOMAN!!!

In this illustrated piece, Scary-Crayon relates the story of Halle Berry, the Oscar-winning actress who later went on to star in what is quite possibly the worst superhero movie ever. Excuse my vitriol, please.  (7/24/04)

Shore Leave HO!

THE SHORE LEAVE REPORT!!!

The annual Shore Leave Sci Fi Convention took place on the weekend of July 9-11 (that's the 9th through the 11th, not WTC day). Scary-Crayon was there! And now, we present our first ever con report. Check it out!  (7/14/04)

The true face of Pan...?

THE TRUE NATURE OF PAN...

We've all heard the story of Peter Pan, but if you're like us at Scary-Crayon you've always found a few of the details to be slightly... unsettling... and with good reason. Read on to discover the true nature of Pan.  (6/23/04)

Happy Father's Day!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, SPLINTER!

This Father's Day, Scary-Crayon takes a moment to honor one of the greatest fathers the world has ever known. So here goes -- Happy Father's Day, Master Splinter! Here's to you, you radical rat.  (6/20/04)

Run, terrorist, run!!!

STUPID INTERNET ADS!

Stupid Internet Ads! You can't escape 'em, but at the very least you can combat them with the knowledge gleaned from this Scary-Crayon commentary on a handful of recent trends and examples. Free food, anyone?  (5/26/04)

Uhm...

Oops a-Daisy and Porky Pooper...?

Well. It's kinda hard to know how to begin to introduce this article -- and given that we've covered some pretty strange material, that means a lot. Let's just say that it involves eating feces. No, I'm not kidding.  (4/30/04)

i'm lovin' it...?

A MCDONDALD'S CUP REVIEW!!!

This time, Scary-Crayon reviews a McDonald's cup. Not a Happy Meal, not the toy that comes with the Happy Meal, not a food item, not the beverage in the cup -- the cup itself. Just the bloody cup. Bloody hell.  (3/5/04)

BOOTLEG E.T.!!!

Christmas Memory Filler Stuff!!!

Yep, it's time for a short filler article that puppeteers you by your heartstrings with Scary-Crayon's sappy special Christmas Memory Filler Stuff. I challenge you to read it without saying, "Awwww..." at least once. ;P  (2/24/04)

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