So now that we've gotten the appetizers out of the way, here's the main course: a review of DC Direct's New Gods Darkseid figure. The review says it all, but I quite like this guy! I mean, he's freaking Darkseid -- what's not to like? Oh, and if you click on the smaller images in this feature, you'll see that I've decided to swallow my hatred of javascript and try something new... that something being Lightbox 2. Barring any unforeseen problems, I think I'll keep it around, but of course your input is always welcome and appreciated. Let me know if you love it, despise it, et cetera. At the very least, it eliminated the need to press back and/or switch tabs and windows to look at the larger versions of images, eh?

And that's all for today's update! Until next time, then...

Anyway, to kick May off, we've got A Crayon Haiku #77... which actually has two 5-7-5 poems. The first is nothing new to you if you've read my personal blog lately, but I finally got a Scarecrow figure to bring my Legion of Doom membership count to five. (Though I guess this is the first time Lex Luthor and Black Manta have appeared on SC as well, huh?) And I'd been sort of sitting on the second haiku for some time -- ever since I read Salvation Run #4 a couple of months ago, actually. Originally I was going to make it a Hot Flash, but then I decided to make it a quick haiku... and then I decided to reshoot it with the Batman/Superman Series 5 Joker after I got that figure. (I'd previously used one from the "The Batman" figure line.) And then I forgot about it again. Anyway, lest I put it off any longer, I decided to lump it in and make this one of those rare two-haiku installments. Enjoy.

More substantial fare coming soon -- after all, I do have that Kong review to finish! And I did come across a Supreme Kong at a decent price, so I may even have to expand the Kong review to three parts. We'll see.

Until next time, then!

Anyway, if you miss that initial airing -- or, on the EC, want to check it out with the drinking game -- it'll be on again at 11:00 PM. After this week, TSJA will be airing at 8:00 PM on Fridays. So if you're at all interested in "Doctor Who" (which, starting next week, will begin airing directly after TSJA) or Sarah Jane (or just want to watch solely for the excuse to drink along ), be sure to check that out! If you're going to play our game, though, remember to drink responsibly and remain aware of your limits while doing so.

One more thing about the game -- don't be confused by the frequent mentions of Clyde in the rules, since he does not appear in the pilot episode airing tonight. Apparently test audiences found Kelsey to be as annoying as we did, so she was axed and replaced by the very likable Clyde. To make up for the sips missed in his absence, though, you're welcome to take a sip every time you find Kelsey grating on your soul. If you choose to do so, please remember our warnings. Scary-Crayon and Strange Cousin Susan are not responsible for any embarrassment and/or injury that result from participating in this activity.

ALSO! For Sarah Jane fans with access to the classic "Doctor Who" episodes, you might want to give The Sarah Jane Smith Drinking Game at The Sarah Jane Smith Wardrobe Appreciation Society a try. I haven't played, so I can't vouch for it -- but considering how incompetent Sarah Jane could be in the older episodes (I still liked her, but give me Leela, Romana, or Ace any day), I suspect that you'd be sipping an awful lot.

Until next time, minna-san!

And now, what I really meant to post last week but have just now finished: the first part of a King Kong action figure review! Playmates released a whole line of Kong figures in conjunction with Peter Jackson's remake back in 2005, but it's 2008 and most of these Kongs are still sitting on the shelves in KB Toys locations across America. In this installment, I look at three of the 6" Kongs as well as the larger 11" Roaring Kong figure. Next time, we'll look at two more of the smaller figures and the 15" deluxe Kong from Mezco. Sure, Kong's no longer exactly current -- not that he has to be for a Scary-Crayon review, but still -- but these figures weren't worth the original prices anyway. Discounted, however, they are awesome.

I'd like to say that the second part of this review will be up soon, but who knows considering that I still haven't finished the Quick Change Dinobot piece! That said, whereas the QC Dinobots have all but disappeared since the 2007 winter holidays, not even Christmas (or the previous Christmas, for that matter) managed to dwindle the Kong armies manning the pegs at KB. I'm confident that you'll have your chance to make an informed decision before they disappear altogether.

Also, we skipped last year, but feel free to check out our April Fool's Day pieces for 2005 and 2006. This year's is definitely less involved, but I think it wins out in terms of cuteness.

If all goes according to plan, I'll have that article (the first part of a two-parter -- one that I hope to actually finish in a timely fashion!) ready sometime this week. Until then, minna-san!

On the other hand, don't go just yet, as A Crayon Haiku #75 still demands your attention. Yes, demands, because Gorilla Grodd is back and he doesn't ask nicely -- you either submit to his will or you GET IN HIS BELLEAH. This'll probably be the last time (or at least the second to last time) that Grodd appears in a haiku, though, as I think I'm finally finished with him. While the obvious additions are the custom made "poseable" cape and necklace combo (not perfect, but I think it turned out well enough) and the painted spear that formerly belonged to Karai (note: painting soft plastic -- or whatever that spear is made of -- is not advised), he's also gotten more paint touch ups (the teeth have been completely redone) and a coat or two of brush-on matte sealer on his fur since the last time you saw him.

It's kind of difficult to make out in the photo, but I also hit up his eyes, teeth, tongue, and lower lip with a brush-on gloss sealer to give them a somewhat more "realistic" wet look. So yes, this Grodd even has drool! Beat that, 4Horsemen BAF Grodd that I will unfortunately never own because I dislike DCUC wave 2 and have no interest in shelling out $50 for it. Yes, I'm still bitter about that -- expect me to detail my frustrations more fully in an upcoming article.

And before we go, let me draw your attention to the links block. In addition to checking out SWAFT and our other entertaining links, I specifically recommend that you visit our latest six additions (in no particular order): Cool Toy Review (which has toy news as well as fabulous photo archives -- some of which even highlight the articulation -- so you can get a good look at what you're buying), Superarticulated (an excellent source of new toy information and reviews, not to mention featured custom figures), Heroine Addict (awesome reviews and perusals of heroine-related media and products; also reminds me of a very funny discussion that resulted from a typo I once made), Online Action Figure Entertainment (OAFE for short; the site title's kinda self-explanatory ), xkcd (a very funny and random webcomic), and Bogleech (wacky spookiness that's very much in keeping with Scary-Crayon's aesthetic inclinations).

You might also have noticed that clicking these links and the ones on the sidebar -- as well as the ones in Tresob's submission -- no longer causes outside pages to open in new windows. Not too long ago I was reading some web designers' blogs and I came across a rather angry screed against pages that open in new windows, the rationale being that if users wanted them to open in new windows and/or tabs they'd use the right click and select the appropriate feature. Now, I've never been especially bothered by pages that open things elsewhere (popup advertisements notwithstanding), but I couldn't argue with the logic -- so from now on I'll be discontinuing the target attribute when it comes to links. I don't feel strongly enough about the issue to go back and remove the targets from the four years' worth of articles and entries in which I've already employed them, but yeah. Hopefully no one will be too inconvenienced either way.

I think that's all for now, crayon fans. Special thanks to Tresob for the article submission! And remember, if you'd like to follow his awesome example, you know where to look. Until next time, then -- which will ideally be sooner than later!

Anyway, in A Crayon Haiku #74, I reveal what I've been spending too much time doing this past month: watching "Smallville". Which isn't to say that it's consumed a lot of my time -- far less than, say, the "Boy Meets World" kick I was on around the time I wrote about the greatness of Trini -- but it is to say that any amount of time spent watching "Smallville" is too much because the show is flipping terrible. Seriously. For those of you who don't watch, one of the plot developments involved Lex Luthor secretly drugging Lana Lang with hormones so she'd think she was pregnant with his baby and marry him. After marrying Lex and uncovering the truth, Lana uses an unfinished clone Lex made of her -- for no apparent reason -- to fake her own death and escape to Shanghai (where she ends up on Nanjing Road, no less). Yes.

Anyway, I started with a handful of select episodes because my ongoing DC Comics character obsession made me curious about seeing how the Martian Manhunter and other members of the Justice League were depicted on the show, but it's really Allison Mack as Chloe Sullivan that keeps me watching. She's just so cute! She may even be edging in on Willow's territory in my all-time favorite gorgeous TV sidekick rankings. I don't understand why Clark's so off on Lana -- she's got nothing on Chloe. Or Lois, for that matter. But then I don't understand a lot of things about "Smallville" -- like why it has to be so unbelievably terrible -- so eh.

I now need a Chloe action figure.

Despite the lack of articulation, I think this one will a lot better for Mallah -- if only because he looks fairly natural holding guns but not so much without them. He's also looking up slightly, which would have annoyed me with Grodd but doesn't bother me so much with a more thoughtful intellectual sort. Well, Grodd is an intellectual too, but he's the kind that will beat you to death and then feast on your carcass. Given his French sensibilities, Monsieur Mallah judges that sort of behavior to be uncivilized.

I'm finding that I rather like these Kongs -- I'm almost tempted to get one of the meaner looking ones and do a new Grodd that really approximates the McGuiness people-eating ferocity. At least the one versus the juvenile V-Rex lacks waist articulation, so I wouldn't foresee there being any awkward painting problems with him!

Seriously, curse these Kongs.

Some of you may remember our review of the 2007 Series 1 Madballs back in December. I mentioned that we were looking forward to reviewing Series 2 -- and I was! -- but I had no idea that I'd have the opportunity to review them early. Thanks to the good folks at Basic Fun, however, I've been able to do just that: for the first time ever, a toy company has seen fit to send new products to Scary-Crayon before they hit the street. (Actually, this is the first time a toy company has sent us anything. Woo!) The Series 2 Madballs will be appearing at Toy Fair 2008 this week, but you can also see them in all of their 12^2 glory right here on Scary-Crayon! (12^2 = 144 = gross, remember? ) As noted, they're not out yet in stores, but I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for them and will let you know when I find them. Given how much I enjoyed working with Grodd (even though he tortured the crap out of me), I'm eager to try customizing a normal 2008 Dust Brain into the female "Dusty" that I knew and loved from her animated appearances.

Some additional info on Bruise Brother -- or rather my history with the character and original toy -- in case you're curious. I actually did and do have an original Bruise Brother, but I have no idea where he is. See, he was one of the toys that I decided to take with me to college junior year to better decorate and personalize my room, but I had the misfortune of placing him in the same bag with several other toys, including the original Playmates TMNT Triceraton, when I packed him up. I opened the bag upon arriving in New Haven to find the toys inside dusted with yellow foam -- apparently, at some point during the six-hour trip, Triceraton had seen fit to gore the heck out of poor Bruise Brother. Even more upsetting than the fact that this toy, which had been in near mint condition despite spending over a decade under my bed, had been given to me by my long-dead paternal grandmother. In fact, I can't really remember anything about her except that she bought me that toy one year. Anyway, I wrapped what remained of Bruise Brother in paper towels, placed them in a plastic bag, and -- upon finally bringing them back to the house -- put them somewhere where I was certain he would be safe from further injury and apparently forgot where the safe spot was. I hope he's happy there.

So while Bruise Brother wasn't as prominent a character as Aargh in the Madballs universes -- and as such I'm not too upset that he was replaced by Blechbeard -- it does make me a bit sad that he didn't get the official revival treatment. My criticisms of Blechbeard would probably have been just as sharp had Bruise Brother survived the journey completely intact, but it is a bit disappointing that they'd make a "new" character that is so reminiscent of Bruise Brother, especially when the concept -- a pirate Madball! -- could have inspired a truly unique and significantly different design. As said, I'm really looking forward to seeing what the artists come up with once they've exhausted the original cast.

Thanks to the folks at Basic Fun for making this early review possible -- and for keeping the Madballs going strong into 2008! I sincerely wish you guys the best of luck in this competitive toy market.

I'd actually meant to have been done before -- when I said I was done last time -- but the bit of paint rub around the awkward torso joint led me to go to hell with sanding on the belly, repaint that entire area (many, many times), and then go over it with this Mod Podge matte glue in order to ensure the security of the paint job. So now I'm satisfied with that (and have learned a helpful step that should prevent me from needing to spend as much time on future customs) and have moved on. Or, more appropriately, I haven't started any new projects as I have focused on recovering. But I'm feeling much better now, thank you.

And if the images in this haiku look familiar to you, don't panic -- the sneezing Wes is recycled from an ollld holiday Hot Flash and the Bizarro comes from Hot Flash #40 (though in keeping with my newfound knowledge of the character, I've modified the colors a bit). Speaking of Bizarro, you should be seeing him again before the month is out -- every February we have an obligatory piece of sorts, and this year Batzarro and Bizarro have been chosen to be my spokespeople. So stay tuned for that, as well as more fun toy reviews.

'Till next time, minna-san!

P.S. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!