And now, Scary-Crayon presents...

A Random Lunch

by: Wes

A bowl of Golden Grahams...

Kain: Hey there, Wild Boar Alien friend. Wassup?

Wild Boar Alien: Hi Kain. Not much going on tonight. Wes is fixing a bowl of Golden Grahams, that's all.

Kain: At 1 AM?!?!? But that's breakfast food! And hey, isn't this segment supposed to be A Random Lunch???

Wild Boar Alien: Well this is A Random Lunch ZERO, so it's like a prequel! Those never make any sense.

Kain: Is that Wes's explanation?

Wild Boar Alien: Yeah.


Kain: I say we kill him.

Wild Boar Alien: No, not yet -- let's see what he does with the grahams first.

Kain: Waitasec, isn't he out of milk? Don't tell me he's going to use egg nog like last time...

Wild Boar Alien: No, I don't think so... but I dunno. Guess we'll find out in a sec, eh?


Kain: OMG! Is that cheese?!?!?

Wild Boar Alien: You've gotta be kidding me.

Alien in the microwave.

Wild Boar Alien: Kain, pal, please tell me Wes is not about to microwave a bowl of Golden Grahams with Mexican cheese stirred into it.

Kain: Wild Boar Alien, good buddy o' mine, Wes is not about to microwave a bowl of Golden Grahams with Mexican cheese stirred into it.

Wild Boar Alien: Liar.

Kain: Get out of the microwave, fool.


Kain: So there's the final product.

Wild Boar Alien: Yep.

Kain: I drink blood at twenty paces and I'm fucking disgusted. Damn that Wes. I really don't know what else to say.

Wild Boar Alien: I do...


Wild Boar Alien: Let's kill him now.

Kain: Sounds like a plan.


Dook Larue: Don't worry kids, he's OK! (Someone please dust me off now.)

The Verdict: Well, I can't really call this AM snack lunch experiment a failure, but I can't call it a success either -- due to the cheese being of the tasteless Mexican enchilada variety, it didn't really have any noticeable effect except to make my Golden Grahams stick together in roughly the shape of the bowl in which they were microwaved. Couple that with the additional 100+ fat calories and the attempted murder by a pair of maniacal action figures and I can't say that I recommend this one. I haven't given up on the idea of cheesy grahams, though. But next time? I'll be sure to use American cheese. It's got nothing to do with patriotism -- flavor triumphs over all.


Kain: If he tries it, he dies.

Wild Boar Alien: We'll be waiting...

-- Wes --

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