And now, Scary-Crayon presents...

by: Wes

Yes, friends, you totally read that right. Scary-Crayon was in the kitchen tonight, and here's a little piece of mm-mm good from us to you: the official SC tuna pancake recipe!!!!!!! Hungry? No? Go away, then. Bastards. Come back when you're hungry. But the rest of you -- those of you salivating like Pavlov's dogs at the mere thought of something as incredible as tuna pancakes -- grab a spatula and let's get cookin'.

The Official Scary-Crayon Tuna Pancake Recipe!
(makes one serving)

What you'll need:



  • Frying pan
  • Bowl for mixing
  • Nonstick pan spray (preferred) or grease
  • 1/4 cup measuring tool
  • Plate
  • Spatula
  • SPOON!
  • Okay, so technically you eat the pan spray, since some of it's going to end up in your food, but c'mon.



  • Pancake mix (duh)
  • Milk (what kind is up to you; I don't recommend using chocolate) or water
  • TUNA!!!!!
  • Optional ingredients

    Optional ingredients:

  • Butter-flavored powder/sprinkles
  • Sugar~ (not pictured because I don't use it...)
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Cheese
  • Mayo or salad dressing
  • Additional spices, condiments, assorted crap, etc., as preferred
  • Directions

    Step 1!

    Step 1: Combine 1/4 cup of pancake mix, 1/4 cup of milk or water, and 1/3 to 1/2 of a small can of tuna in a bowl. Stir with your SPOON until it's all mixed together and stuff.

    Step 2!

    Step 2: Spray your frying pan with the nonstick spray, or pour in a teaspoon or two of grease, as preferred. Put the pan on the stove and set it to whatever you want, really. I usually do a notch past medium heat. MAKE SURE THAT YOU SPRAY THE PAN BEFORE TURNING ON THE HEAT! At least, that's what it says on the can. I don't exactly know what happens if you don't, though, so if you're feeling like taking a risk, do it and let me know how it works out. (Disclaimer: Scary-Crayon -- and particularly Wes; if you must sue someone, sue Megz ;) -- is not responsible for singed eyebrows, property damage, or deaths resulting from improper use of nonstick spray cans, etc.)

    Step 3!

    Step 3: While your pan's warming up, SEASON YO MIX! Here's where you can add stuff to your tuna pancake batter, like butter powder, salt, pepper, sugar, or anything else you come up with. I stick to butter powder, salt, and pepper, but that's just me. Do not add the mayo or salad dressing at this point. So yeah, add whatever you want, stir it in good. Er, well. Stir it in well.

    Step 4!

    Step 4: This one probably should've been several steps, hence the super widescreen image. Pour your mix in the pan -- since the tuna will make it prone to sitting in a pile, spread it around with the spatula until you have a nice and relatively flat disc. And then cook it like you normally would a pancake -- flip it after a bit, press it down with the spatula (the side facing up should now be cooked, so you can flatten the pancake further without getting tuna all over the spatula) -- flip it again, if necessary, etc. It's hard as bloody hell to burn, so if you're into multitasking, now's a good time to wash out the bowl you used to make the mix. Learn ballet while you're at it, whatever. When the pancake is cooked through to your liking (I stop when it's golden brown, with maybe a few darker patches), turn off the heat and put your finished TUNA PANCAKE on a plate...

    Step 5!

    Step 5: ...and if you want to season it further, top it with cheese and the mayo/salad dressing now. If you want the cheese to melt, or if your pancake's gotten cold while you were positioning action figures around it and taking photos, put the cheese on first, microwave it for a bit, and then add the mayo/salad dressing.



    And yes, if you're wondering, this is one of those spur-of-the-moment-off-the-top-of-Wes's-head recipes. Like most of my "experiments", though, this one turned out pretty well! Way better than that deep-fried pop tart fiasco... You can also try substituting other kinds of fish or main ingredients -- this recipe also works pretty well with fake crabmeat or salmon in place of tuna. Give it a try at home; send an e-mail if you enjoyed it. :) If you didn't enjoy it, we don't wanna know.

    -- Wes --

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