Oprah is THE GREATEST PERSON EVER
and isn't at all a greedy, egotistical bitch who feels the need to stick her name on everything and manipulate the masses for the purpose of increasing her fame and filling her pockets!
because it actually has useful
information for women and is in no way filled with a bunch of bullshit designed to rot your capacity for independent thought
and make you just another of Oprah's mindless slavering slaves!
Even though his advice is pretty much common sense, you need Phil
to tell you what to do. Why? Because he's endorsed by Oprah, and you should never
ever ever do anything Oprah hasn't somehow approved! DUH!!!
by doing whatever Oprah says and buying whatever she endorses, even if that includes selling your soul
in order to raise the funds to buy that hands-free vacuum thingy, because who wants to live in a dirty cardboard box?
if you ever find yourself denying the unrivaled beauty of Oprah Winfrey! If you ever see her without makeup and think, "DAMN, that bitch is hella ugly!"
sever your tongue with a greasy, plastic spork and choke on it at once!