Bits & Pieces

The Five SCARIEST 49¢ Thanksgiving Cards!!!

SCARY THANKSGIVING CARDS!!!

Though the holiday has come and gone, we nevertheless bring you the five SCARIEST 49¢ Thanksgiving cards we could find. Intelligent turkeys, freaky triple-chinned ladies, and other horrors abound in this late review!  (11/30/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 6)

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN W0T?

Anyone who claims that truth is stranger than fiction has obviously never read The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told! Here's the spectacular sixth segment... in which things are still not making much sense.  (11/26/06)

The Chicken Finger Sundae Sandwich!

THE CHICKEN FINGER WHAT?!?!?

And now, at long last, Scary-Crayon unveils The Chicken Finger Sundae Sandwich! Inspired by a South Park clip, this treat combines chicken and ice cream toppings with surprisingly tasty results. Read and believe.  (11/20/06)

Hang in there, Mary Jane!

HANG IN THERE, MARY JANE!!!

In March '06, we reviewed The Amazing Spider-Man -- an all but impossible game to finish. But since then, we've learned of a trick that gives the player an easy way to win! Hold on, Mary Jane -- Spidey's a comin'!  (10/25/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 5)

MORE STRANGENESS FOR YOU

Considering that Santa Claus has entered the text, the fifth part of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told at last has a definite connection to the titular holiday! Ponder the mysteries of Kris Kringle within.  (10/22/06)

Awesome scenes from Shadow: Dead Riot (!!!)

SHADOW: DEAD RIOT IS GREAT

Scary-Crayon keeps the horror coming with this review of and spotlighted scenes from Shadow: Dead Riot. By the way, this article is totally not safe for work, as it contains pictures of breasts and fondling. Enjoy.  (10/17/06)

''PREHISTORIC GHOSTS FROM THE PAST''

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #89!

The title's kinda redundant, but who cares! Scary-Crayon brings you more psuedo Halloween-themed goodness with Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #89, which features more ghosts. DINOSAUR ghosts. RAWR.  (10/16/06)

''Creepy little girls with too much hair are not scary.''

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #88!

Lots of things are scary, but creepy little girls with too much hair do not belong to that class. Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #88, then, is basically our way of saying WE DID NOT LIKE The Ring. But with goofy art!  (10/16/06)

''Ghosts With Cell Phones''

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #87!

So now they've got these new cell phone plans that give you free anytime minutes to your five favorite people. In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #87, we observe a scene involving just such a plan! With ghosts.  (10/5/06)

Frank Sudol's City of Rott

FRANK SUDOL'S CITY OF ROTT

With Halloween being just around the corner, we figured it was about time for a zombie film review -- and how could we go wrong with a gore-filled, animated zombie movie? Um... enter Frank Sudol's City of Rott.  (10/2/06)

A Crayon Haiku #53!

A Crayon Haiku #53!

Oh my god. I mean, I expected it to be bad, but bloody hell, man. BLOODY HELL. I just had to write A Crayon Haiku #53 promptly after watching this movie in order to express my complete and total disdain for it. Good lord.  (9/24/06)

A Crayon Haiku #52!

A Crayon Haiku #52!

Windows Media Player is so totally helpful, isn't it? I mean, if you're listening to a groovy CD, all you've gotta do to buy it is click a link in the corner of the window! But wait! A Crayon Haiku #52 notes a problem with this.  (9/24/06)

The La Tasca Restaurant Review!

TAPAS ARE DELICIOUS.

However, the discussion of the tasty tapas is a minimal part of our "review" of the La Tasca Spanish Tapas Bar & Restaurant. It's certainly non-traditional as far as dining critiques go. And slightly creepy. It is our way.  (9/19/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 4)

YES, IT COULD GET STRANGER.

Just when you never thought literature was beginning to make sense, The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told continues! In this freaky fourth installment, more crazy rambling takes place. Cling to your sanity.  (9/19/06)

''I like it too''

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #86!

Don't think too hard about Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #86 -- there's nothing deep happening here. But isn't it interesting what you can see and overhear in public? A ninja is always aware of his/her surroundings.  (9/19/06)

Mmm... upchuck-y.

A RANDOM LUNCH #11!!!

After an extended hiatus, spontaneous culinary insanity returns to Scary-Crayon in A Random Lunch #11! See what wonders you can create with a can of creamed corn, stale croutons, and dollar store turkey franks.  (9/11/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 3)

COULD IT GET ANY STRANGER?!?

Spiders! Rumplestiltskin! Pac-Man! Werewolves! What do these creatures and characters have in common? They're all mentioned in the third part of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told! Take your medicine.  (9/4/06)

Genesis of the Homemade Daleks: Part 2!

HOMEMADE DALEKS: PART 2

And after a long month of waiting, Skaro-Crayon returns with Genesis of the Homemade Daleks: Part 2! If you've ever wanted a nifty Dalek figure that opened up to reveal the fearsome Kaled mutant within, read on.  (8/30/06)

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