CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 4!

At long last, Scary-Crayon's Christmas with Gumby review comes to a close with this review of "Gumbasia". Join Gumby and Pokey as they search for toys and explore their sexuality. Gumby's parents are here too!  (1/8/05)

A Dusty Plastic HELLISH New Year!

As they say, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! But what the hell is so goddamned happy about it? Mummraph and Donacula ask that very same question Scary-Crayon's first feature of 2005 -- A Dusty Plastic HELLISH New Year!  (1/3/05)

THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA CLAUS.

Yeah, Christmas has come and gone, but it's never too late to learn the TRUTH. Here, Scary-Crayon shares the true origins of Santa Claus... suffice it to say that he wasn't always the jolly old elf we know and love.  (12/31/04)

A Crayon Haiku #19!

It's been a while since we had one of these, eh? After a two month hiatus, the Crayon Haiku featurette returns with its 19th edition! WARNING: This haiku is pretty gross. It's gross squared! It's 144. It's work safe, though.  (12/26/04)

A D.P.H. HOLIDAY HOT FLASH!

Happy holidays, one and all! In this special holiday edition of Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash, we wish you just that (those?) -- happy holidays. Nothing special, really. Hope you're feeling better than Wes is.  :(  (12/25/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #14!

Apparently last time's mischief wasn't sneaky enough, as Wes's mom discovered his "improvements" to her Nativity scene. What happened, you ask? Find out in the very festive Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #14!  (12/25/04)

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 3!

Scary-Crayon's Christmas with Gumby review continues as Gumby and Pokey venture into Pigeon in a Plum Tree and ruin yet another potentially good book through their meddlesome ways. It's kinda depressing.  (12/25/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #13!

Given the holiday season's focus on Christmas -- which supposedly celebrates the birth of Christ -- Nativity scenes are standard fare among holiday decorations. Here, Wes adds his special touch to his Mom's display.  (12/21/04)

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 2!

In the second segment of Scary-Crayon's Christmas with Gumby review, Gumby's MIA and Santa is sick! Who ever could fill Santa's boots and get those toys to the good little children of the world? Read on to find out!  (12/20/04)

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 1!

With shapeshifting powers and the ability to enter books, Gumby was pretty bizarre -- but Scary-Crayon's Christmas with Gumby review unearths even stranger truths about the guy. Where's Freud when we need him?  (12/17/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #12!

Few things are worse than crazy housewives with nothing better to do than sit around reading tacky romance novels that may or may not star vampires. What could be worse than that, you wonder? Just ask Wes.  (12/6/04)

How to write A 50,000 word novel...

...in a month! In this piece, Wes imparts some of the tips he picked up during National Novel Writing Month so that you too can pen a 50K+ word novel in thirty days or less! Of course, nobody said it would be good...  (12/6/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #11!

Featuring the Chatterer of Hellraiser fame, the eleventh edition of Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash is entitled "A Masochist's Wet Dream, No. 1". Scary-Crayon bets you can't think about this short without cringing.  (12/1/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #10!

Happy Thanksgiving, folks! Hope you're counting your blessings, for there's plenty to be thankful for! Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #10 gives you another thing to add to your lists. Be thankful you're not Wes.  (11/25/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #9!

It's that time again! In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #9, we see how "uplifting" book titles can give rise to strange thoughts in the minds of weary souls. And don't feel too sorry for the Wes. He'll be okay.  (11/20/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #8!

It's back to the bookstore yet again Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #8! This time, we see how the memory of a pleasant customer encounter can quickly be mired when the facts are given careful consideration.  (11/15/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #7!

If you're not familiar with Tom Wolfe, we're in the same boat -- I'd never heard squat about the "master chronicler" until the hubbub over his new book began. I don't know if it's any good, but the title sure is stupid.  (11/12/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #6!

Off the clock, the word "training" takes on a whole new meaning in the Turtles' subterranean lair. Beware -- bad taste abounds as Master Splinter imparts new teachings in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #6!  (11/9/04)