Bits & Pieces

DPH: HF #10 -- Thanks A Million

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #10!

Happy Thanksgiving, folks! Hope you're counting your blessings, for there's plenty to be thankful for! Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #10 gives you another thing to add to your lists. Be thankful you're not Wes.  (11/25/04)

DPH: HF #9 -- Live Like You Were Dying

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #9!

It's that time again! In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #9, we see how "uplifting" book titles can give rise to strange thoughts in the minds of weary souls. And don't feel too sorry for the Wes. He'll be okay.  (11/20/04)

DPH: HF #8 -- You do the math.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #8!

It's back to the bookstore yet again Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #8! This time, we see how the memory of a pleasant customer encounter can quickly be mired when the facts are given careful consideration.  (11/15/04)

DPH: HF #7 -- You are not Charlotte Simmons.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #7!

If you're not familiar with Tom Wolfe, we're in the same boat -- I'd never heard squat about the "master chronicler" until the hubbub over his new book began. I don't know if it's any good, but the title sure is stupid.  (11/12/04)

DPH: HF #6 -- Training off the clock

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #6!

Off the clock, the word "training" takes on a whole new meaning in the Turtles' subterranean lair. Beware -- bad taste abounds as Master Splinter imparts new teachings in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #6!  (11/9/04)

DPH: HF #5 -- Taste the... nevermind.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #5!

The second of Wes's bookstore adventures, Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #5 begins with an dull and oddly strenuous night of vacuuming the store... until Wes spots something on the floor! What ever could it be?  (11/4/04)

ELECTION 2004!!!

IT'S TIME FOR ELECTION 2004!!!

In just one day, Americans will head to the polls to participate in ELECTION 2004 -- where, among other things, the battle for the U.S. Presidency will be decided. The top contenders? A monkey and a zombie.  (11/1/04)

DPH: HF #4 -- Skeletor's Lament

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #4!

If even a Yale degree is worthless in today's wretched job market, what hope is there for a failed supervillain? But wait! Perhaps Leviathan's minions have an opening...? Enter Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #4!  (10/29/04)

A Crayon Haiku #18!

A Crayon Haiku #18!

Sometimes, when we're bored at work, the ancient joys of MS Paint are all we have. In A Crayon Haiku #18, we learn that things of beauty can be created in such moments... happy things to make hearts sing.  (10/26/04)

You nasty little...

THE HAPPY SHIT-SNIFFERS.

Have you ever walked in a bathroom, seen some people loitering in there, and thought to yourself, "Okay, just what the fuck are these guys doing in here???" They may have been waiting around to sniff your shit.  (10/26/04)

Welcome to the bookstore.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #3!

Join Wes at work in Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #3! We sell lots of dirty magazines at the bookstore, but we find almost as many removed from their plastic and hidden in unlikely places about the store. Rah.  (10/19/04)

He's not fucking into you.

HE'S NOT FUCKING INTO YOU.

Having trouble figuring out whether that man in your life is truly interested? Forget He's Just Not Into You -- turn to Scary-Crayon's He's Not Fucking Into You for the answers! A must-read for women everywhere.  (10/13/04)

R.I.P. Rodney Dangerfield

In Memoriam, a DPH Hot Flash.

On October 5, 2004, one of the funniest men who ever lived passed away. Join Scary-Crayon as we salute the comic legend Rodney Dangerfield with this special edition of Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash.  (10/8/04)

''Filthy Camels''

Crayon Poetry Corner #7!

Observant as he is, Wes sees many depressing things in his travels -- for instance, dirty bastards who spit on the sidewalk for no fucking reason. Instead of killing them, he wrote this poem. "Filthy Camels" is the title.  (10/8/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #2!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #2!

In Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #2, we find that at least one of the Turtles enjoys eating something other than pizza. Well! This "Hot Flash" segment name is turning out to be more appropriate than we'd intended.  (10/4/04)

A Crayon Haiku #17!

A Crayon Haiku #17!

As if you didn't already know, A Crayon Haiku #17 shows that we at Scary-Crayon never paid much attention to our moms when they told us not to play with our food. What's that, Mom? I can't hear you.  (9/29/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #1!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #1!

Enter Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #1, the first edition of Scary-Crayon's new webcomic-style featurette. In this first installment, we take a look at a magazine cover mockup based on an upcoming film...  (9/29/04)

Bloody hell.

LEARN SOME NETIQUETTTE, F00!!!

In this didactic offering, Leatherhead and Donatello go over a few netiquette rules that everyone who browses the web should know. You'd think they'd be obvious... but apparently not everyone does. Think, that is.  (9/24/04)