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Well, it had to happen sometime. In this very first video game review, Scary-Crayon ventures into the wonderful world of Oz as seen on the Super Nintendo. Only Oz isn't half as wonderful as it used to be... (3/12/04)
Where's April? Good frickin' question! Read on to find out the answer in this first Scary-Crayon essay offering. And then join Leonardo as he embarks on a quest to recover April O'Neil for the glory of SC. (3/9/04)
This time, Scary-Crayon reviews a McDonald's cup. Not a Happy Meal, not the toy that comes with the Happy Meal, not a food item, not the beverage in the cup -- the cup itself. Just the bloody cup. Bloody hell. (3/5/04)
Finally having come down from the incredible high that is THE SANDWICH SO WEIRD it frightens McGriddles, Napoleon's back to his old tricks in A Crayon Haiku #6! What do they entail? Read and find out! (3/1/04)
Yep, Scary-Crayon once again delves into the horrors of "O, the Oprah Magazine". Well, not exactly "into" -- this time we've only reviewed the cover of the December 2003 issue. Just the cover. Still horrible. (3/1/04)
That's right -- y'all gather 'round for A Crayon Haiku #5. In this installment, Scary-Crayon takes a look at the character of the noble Triceraton. These descriptions are longer than the haikus themselves. (2/24/04)
Christmas Memory Filler Stuff!!!
Yep, it's time for a short filler article that puppeteers you by your heartstrings with Scary-Crayon's sappy special Christmas Memory Filler Stuff. I challenge you to read it without saying, "Awwww..." at least once. ;P (2/24/04)
In the mood for something kinda...strange? Well relax with the extra special image-packed in-depth two-part Creepy Freaks Animation Episode Review! Over 6,600 words of pure unbridled lunacy. And yogurt. (2/21/04)
Yep, THE TOYS ARE BACK in Dusty Plastic HELL #2! This time we visit with some of the less fortunate members of the SC toy family. Come inside, dear reader, and hearken to their tales of woe... (2/17/04)
Just in time for Valentine's Day comes A Crayon Haiku #4, with two haikus for the price of one! The action figures have taken V-Day off to recite bad poetry, but there's always strange food to write about... (2/14/04)
Return to the kitchen with Scary-Crayon to learn the secrets of THE SANDWICH SO WEIRD it frightens McGriddles. Napoleon Bonafrog, Baxter Stockman, and Zoltan demonstrate the esoteric cooking rites. (2/11/04)
Yep, it's time for the third edition of A Crayon Haiku! Tokka and Slash star, along with the author's mounting suspicion that there's something odd going on that he can't quite comprehend... (2/9/04)
Welcome to the first installment of another Scary-Crayon feature, A Random Lunch #0! In this "prequel" of sorts, Wild Boar Alien and Kain encounter something so wrong that they are moved to violence... (2/7/04)
Every once in a while, Maury has an episode topic that isn't "WHO MY BABY DADDY?!?!?" Sometimes his subject matter is even more terrifying. And just this once, Scary-Crayon was there to review it. (2/3/04)
The game's almost over, but Scary-Crayon still comes through with the Superbowl Edition of A Crayon Haiku! This time, on behalf of football players everywhere, Touchdown Leo does the honors. (2/1/04)
Scary-Crayon welcomes you to the debut of another regular (we hope) feature, Dusty Plastic HELL! In this first installment, Godzilla finds himself somewhere... hot. Also starring Tokka and Psyduck! (2/1/04)
That's right -- it's the second installment of A Crayon Haiku! This time we visit with Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It's been a while since the anime, and Raphael isn't so super these days... (1/29/04)
Apparently January 29th is Oprah's birthday, so in honor of out of utter contempt for this special Satan-approved day, we bring you the Scary-Crayon review of the Nov. 2003 issue of "O, The Oprah Magazine"! (1/29/04)
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