Bits & Pieces

Bloody hell.

OPPOSITE COUPLES OF DOOM.

Every once in a while, Maury has an episode topic that isn’t “WHO MY BABY DADDY?!?!?” Sometimes his subject matter is even more terrifying. And just this once, Scary-Crayon was there to review it.  (2/3/04)

A Crayon Haiku, Superbowl Edition!

A SUPERBOWL Crayon Haiku!

The game’s almost over, but Scary-Crayon still comes through with the Superbowl Edition of A Crayon Haiku! This time, on behalf of football players everywhere, Touchdown Leo does the honors.  (2/1/04)

''Psy-yi-yi!''

DUSTY PLASTIC HELL #1!!!

Scary-Crayon welcomes you to the debut of another regular (we hope) feature, Dusty Plastic HELL! In this first installment, Godzilla finds himself somewhere… hot. Also starring Tokka and Psyduck!  (2/1/04)

Starring Raphael!

A Crayon Haiku #2!

That’s right — it’s the second installment of A Crayon Haiku! This time we visit with Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It’s been a while since the anime, and Raphael isn’t so super these days…  (1/29/04)

Is your husband homicidal? FIND OUT INSIDE.

OPRAH WANTS YOUR SOUL.

Apparently January 29th is Oprah’s birthday, so in honor of out of utter contempt for this special Satan-approved day, we bring you the Scary-Crayon review of the Nov. 2003 issue of “O, The Oprah Magazine”!  (1/29/04)

Juggernaut stars in A Crayon Haiku #1!

A Crayon Haiku #1!

Let’s kick things off at Scary-Crayon with the first installment of A Crayon Haiku. These things are pretty easy to do, so expect a lot more of ’em. Today’s special guest subject? The Juggernaut.  (1/25/04)

Dairy Free Mac & Chreese!

DAIRY FREE MAC & CHREESE!!!

Alice and Ryoko take on the horrors of hippie vegan cuisine! Will they be able to endure the diabolical Hell that is DAIRY FREE MAC & CHREESE??? Plus a special cameo appearance by Smudge!  (1/25/04)

LET'S GET MIXIN'!!!

TIME FOR TUNA PANCAKES!!!

Hungry? SC takes you for a culinary ride with The Official Scary-Crayon Tuna Pancake Recipe, co-starring Wyrm, Donatello, and Peter Puppy! So come on in… ’cause you know you want some!  (1/25/04)

Yep, those are the Turtles.

NINJA TURTLES ANIME!!!

I can’t even begin to describe this one. A three-part Scary-Crayon review of episode one of the two-episode Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles anime, “Mutant Turtles: Chôjin densetsu hen”. It’s amazing.  (1/25/04)

Yeah, that's daylight behind her.

Sergio Lapel’s Drawing Blood…

Vampires are awesome, but this movie is not. A Scary-Crayon review of one of the absolute worst movies you’ll ever see, with or without vampires. But it’s a Troma film, so what were you expecting?  (1/25/04)