July 11, 2007
Michael Bay’s Transformers reviewed!

So after an unintentional Scary-Crayon hiatus (sorry!), here’s our review of Transformers. I went to see the film on opening day and started writing the middle paragraphs on the fourth, but then I took a break from it and when I came back I just didn’t really feel like saying a whole lot more about this crappy film even though I could’ve gone on for at least four or five more paragraphs. I honestly don’t see how people are going back to see it second and third times (well, aside from the lowered expectations and/or idiots explanation), because the more I think about it the less sense it makes and the angrier it makes me. This really is one of those films that you’d have to turn off your brain (or just not have one) to enjoy, but since I’m pretty much incapable of that I despised it thoroughly.

I suppose the movie fares a little better if one doesn’t think of it as a Transformers film or doesn’t approach it from that angle, as it’s probably a little less offensive if you think of it as a mindless summer action flick. But I came to see Autobots and Decepticons and Optimus Prime and Megatron, goddamnit, and the little of them that I got was just insulting. I wasn’t really bothered by their movie appearances — though I naturally prefer the G1 (or even Armada and Energon, in certain cases) designs — it was more the bullshit “story” that didn’t even focus on the Transformers that irked me. Certain scenes felt like they were written purely for the sake of working in some puerile UPN-quality joke (“You eyein’ my piece, 50-cent?!”) that wouldn’t be funny even with canned laughter playing along with it. But I’ve said enough about that.

Humans need not be sitcom rejects.

Anyway, after I finished watching the movie I picked up the Shockblast Unleashed volume of Transformers: Energon from the Walmart $5 bin in order to get something resembling a Transformers fix from the day’s events. It’s potentially even more confusing and less interesting than the movie itself — it’s basically Autobots and Decepticons running around corners and throwing out an endless progression of technobabble while combining with each other ad nauseam as events become increasingly more complex — but it does prioritize the Transformers’ exploits above any largely unrelated crap happening on Earth. It’s no G1, though.

Suck on this, Megatron!

So if there’s anything positive to be said about the movie, it’s that it’s (yes, both of those are grammatically correct) ushered in an influx of new Transformers merchandise and the reemergence of products related to the older franchises. I found this at Dollar Tree the other day — and while it’s arguably a bit overpriced for a single Chupa-Chups lollipop (I imagine you can get a whole bag of ’em for like $2), at least now I can clip Megatron to one of my belt loops or something for bonus points at various conventions. I haven’t been quite as interested in the actual movie merch, but the upcoming Target-exclusive G1 redecos of the movie figures may warrant a look. The Fast Action Battlers seem like huge wastes of shelf space, though — unless you were buying for like 2-year-olds who probably shouldn’t have watched Bay’s Transformers anyway, it just doesn’t make sense to get them when the cooler deluxe versions cost the same price. I guess I could see one going with them over the characters that only have voyager counterparts, though.

Seeya next time, minna-san. 🙂

P.S. Don’t miss the Prime/Megatron CSS rollover in the article!

-posted by Wes | 7:39 pm | Comments (22)
  • R says:

    I went to see this movie with a friend of mine on my birthday (about five days ago) and had to endure pretty much blurry smudges of picture due to my friend deciding to pick a seat right in front of the freaking screen, and the nonstop chatter of said friend, who’d seen the movie prior. So you can imagine once the battle scenes FINALLY came up, I couldn’t see a blasted thing other than the occasional blue and red from Optimus or flash of yellow from Bumblebee (whom my friend claims can’t be anything other than female despite my reasoning that robots of any kind don’t have reproductive organs making them male or female). Thankfully, standing in line for the drinks while my friend got the terrible seats spared me a good ten minutes of the entire mess. I feel sad I missed the previews though. v_v

    Over all, I found it boring, and I agree that the plot could have been better, the casting didn’t need to be so large for the humans, the jokes could have been less painfully vulgar (I swear I felt a trickle of blood in my ear canal during one point), the fighting could have been better executed, and Megatron could have said his trademark “slag heap” phrase at least ONCE! But no…no. Slag probably is too graphic for young children, though hearing the other curses muttered on screen was fine. Oy vey Dr. Zoidberg…

    Pretty much the only thing worth the $4.54 I paid for the ticket was seeing the most realistic CGI Autobots and Decepticons to date. That was it…other than that, psh. I could have gone and seen Shrek the Third or Evan Almighty for that much. Even that movie Knocked Up could have entertained me more than the two minutes of robot brawling.

  • Don Alejandro says:

    I was debating seeing Transformers or ‘Mr. Brooks’. I’m quite happy on picking Mr. Brooks (Which is in my opinion a pretty good movie) over Bay’s embarassing blockbuster.

    I definitely did enjoy the scathing review, a couple friends of mine went to see Transformers over Mr. Brooks (Traitors!), and they too came out disappointed. Naturally, the four or so of us who didn’t see Transformers didn’t let them live it down for the night and half of the next day.

    They mentiond the bad jokes, too. I don’t quite remember what they were, but I DO remember laughing at them. It’s not that they’re funny, it’s that someone thought it was a good idea to put them in the script is funny for some cosmic humor. Sort of like how we all get a laugh at the end of Dr. Strangelove when everyone dies. Oh-ha-ha-ha, those silly Russkies thought they were people and we all died!

    Anyway, from the sound of the fights, Bay tried to think too much. “Hmm, how would normal people see them fight? Oh, blurs and explosions and smoke! Brilliant!” Or not-so-brilliant, apparently. The emphasis on humans sounds pretty lame too. I definitely would’ve wanted to see the giant death machines I knew and loved than the fleshbags it sounds like it focused on.

    The worst thing that came about from Transformers?

    Like Lord of the Rings, noone else is going to be able to make another Transformers movie within the next decade or so.

  • I?ve got to agree with you on this one, Wes, that movie was extremely disappointing and left me with a headache the size of Unicron.

  • Tetsu Deinonychus says:

    Frankly, I am just so sick of Hollywood producing cookie-cutter crap like this and everyone talking about how good they think it is.

    And, it’s even worse when the take the title of something I like and drag it through the ground by making clich?d dreck, like this, with no regard for the source material.

    Bravo to you Wes, Bravo for telling it like it is. We need to start standing up to Hollywood.

    I totally want to move to L.A. so I can leave a flaming bag of “justice” on Michael Bay’s front porch! And, Ewe Bowell while I’m at it! And, whoever those asholes that made G.I.N.O. (Godzilla In Name Only) are, I hate them most of all.

  • the Jax says:

    I guess I will be the dissenting voice today. Not knowing jack about any incarnation of Transformers, and admitting that my brain was not heavily taxed, I must say I enjoyed the movie. I mean, how good can one expect a movie to be, concerning sentient robots from across the galaxy doing eternal battle disguised as cars & other vehicles?
    The donut guy was totally pointless, but the vast majority of moviegoers (including myself) needed human characters deeply involved, to sympathize with. How does this war of robots affect me? What if they showed up in my driveway? I did laugh at most of the jokes. Although I agree the little Decepticon was way too annoying.

    That was my opinion, and now I refute a few of your plot points, Crayon-san:
    The eBay pic of the glasses: It seemed obvious to me that the pic was way too low-res to read the marks etched in the glass, and Prime needed the actual object anyway to project his beam through it and view the resulting image.
    Bumblebee hanging around Sam: The Autobots saw the eBay ad and determined who had the glasses. Bumblebee got there first and waited for the others to arrive on Earth. Even if he had snatched the glasses and left, he’d still be waiting to rendezvous with the other Autobots, and he could be almost sure that Decepticons would track Sam down as well. Per Optimus’s directive that humans should not be harmed, Bumblebee felt obligated to protect the Witwickys.
    Yeah, it didn’t make too much sense that the big battle was taken to the middle of a city, but it made for more tension and excitement than a brawl in the Salt Flats.

  • Tetsu Deinonychus says:

    Personally, I find it harder to sympathize with humans than anything else.

  • Wes says:

    R: Agreed on all points. However, assuming that Bumblebee’s sex (or I guess gender, since the robots lack reproductive organs but do seem to have preprogrammed genders) hasn’t changed in the Bay continuity, he’s definitely male. The G1 ‘toon did have female robots, though — Arcee and Elita One come to mind.

    Don: Good call on Mr. Brooks. And unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, if they get better screenwriters and someone other than Bay to direct), it looks like we’ll be seeing another Transformers film well within the next decade — I believe the sequel is already slated for a 2009 release. Apparently the voice actors have already recorded lines for a movie 2 prequel (that is, Transformers 1.5) that will be included on the DVD release of the first film.

    BrianRtW: Headache-inducing is a good descriptor for the movie! I like the Unicron reference, too. 🙂

    Tetsu: I kinda liked GINO, though certainly not as much as any of the legit Toho Godzilla films — and I’ll readily admit that it wasn’t a good film at all. It may also have something to do with the fact that I was working at KB Toys when the movie figures got super discounted and was able to pick up a 12″ action/sound GINO ridiculously cheap, though — somehow things always seem less objectionable when they lead to cool, inexpensive swag.

    Jax: Well, I suppose someone had to dissent! I think this line of yours says it all, though:

    I mean, how good can one expect a movie to be, concerning sentient robots from across the galaxy doing eternal battle disguised as cars & other vehicles?

    I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Bay and the writers thought throughout their work on Transformers, which is why they ended up making a bunch of goofy crap that suggests a lack of appreciation and even a certain disdain for the source material. I mean, the original reason for the Decepticons’ arrival on Earth was as simple as them wanting to drain the planet’s energy resources for their own purposes, yet here the screenwriters had to create some ridiculous nonsense about a mystical world-destroying artifact. And it’s not as if the transforming was really central to the plot of the G1 show — much like Batman and the Batmobile, the Autobots and Decepticons mostly used their alt modes for transport and the occasional skirmish. But to answer your question, I will refer you to this YouTube video:


    The music is a bit cheesy (though it undeniably makes the scene that much more memorable), but note that the each of the speaking characters in this clip exude more personality with every line than the entire cast of Bay’s Transformers. The battle is both compelling and easy to follow, despite it taking place in the Salt Flats. And when Prime dies, it’s a sad, sad moment for the Autobots. Jazz’s death in the new movie was barely acknowledged.

    As far as your refutations go, remember that we’re talking about ultra-advanced robots. I maintain that if a robot is capable of singling out one image — out of all of the pictures on the Internet, mind you — and recognizing the characters of its own alien language, it probably has the appropriate software algorithms needed to resize the low-res image as necessary and view the characters more clearly. And if the robot is that advanced yet for whatever reason needs to shine a beam on a physical representation of the characters, it probably also has the ability to write them on something itself for that very purpose! Even if there were absolutely no holes involved with the glasses, however, I still maintain that the story would have been much more streamlined and allowed time for far more compelling content if the glasses (along with half of the human cast) had been ditched altogether.

    Re: the human involvement — that you feel that the humans were necessary for moviegoers to connect to the film just goes to show that Bay didn’t do a very good job of providing the robots with adequate characterization, as it is entirely possible to relate to them in almost every other incarnation of Transformers. That said, humans do play a role in most Transformers media — they just don’t take center stage for the bulk of the runtimes. (It’s worth noting that Shia’s character, Sam Witwicky clearly takes after Spike Witwicky from the G1 cartoon.) They’re more like April and Casey to the Transformers’ Turtles, Whistler to the Transformers’ Blade, Alfred to the Transformers’ Batman, et cetera. They definitely help, and they have their moments in the spotlight, but they don’t steal the show. They’re the tech support. So I’m not saying that there shouldn’t have been any humans, but their involvement definitely shouldn’t have been prioritized over that of the giant robots themselves.

    The thing with Bumblebee is less of a plot point criticism than it is a criticism of the scriptwriting — rather than having the car inexplicably trying to get Sam laid before the big reveal (which wasn’t so much a big reveal since, among other things, the opening narration and flashback to Sam’s grandfather already pretty much told us what was going on), that portion of the runtime could have been devoted to something like actually giving the Transformers some semblance of character.

    In short, the Transformers franchise really is a lot better and more interesting than this film gives it credit for. 🙂

    Tetsu: I definitely found it difficult to sympathize with these humans — namely because they were all ridiculous UPN/CW sitcom rejects. 🙁

  • the Jax says:

    Definitely agreed, the robots’ characterization in the film was almost non-existent. Maybe Transformers wasn’t sure who its audience would be…25-30 year olds who watched the cartoon? Do they bring their kids? Summer movie-goers in search of big explosions, who are strangers to the franchise? I still think the critics were way too hard on it, but I guess I set my expectations low for this one. I saw Harry Potter 5 last night and enjoyed it as well, but given the choice to watch one again I’d see Transformers.

  • RADIX says:

    Would you like some WORD with your coffee (or tea)?

    I’ll admit, I don’t know much about the Transformers. But really, given the premise, it should have been easy to make a movie based off of it. Instead, we get a 144-minute “movie” about humans trying to get laid (teen appeal) with a vague subplot about transforming robots and the military that opposes them. Thanks for nothing, Michael Bay.

    Also, I find it hard to sympathize with humans (especially with what recently happened to one unfortunate mother and her son), but they didn’t even give the robots depth! (Note that I refuse to refer to these animatrons as “Autobots”, “Decepticons”, or even “Transformers”.) They don’t even look like the original Transformers! You’ve got one robot with Optimus Prime’s colour scheme, one with yellow paint (could be Bumblebee), and a giant pocket pussy claiming to be Megatron (as pointed out by iMockery). I hope they didn’t drag poor Arcee into this mess.

    Come on, even the old Megaman cartoon gave us some amount of depth, and a feeling of relation between the robots on both Light and Wily’s side, while still being entertaining–and that cartoon is disliked by many MM fans. The “movie” fails to do even that, treating Jazz like he’s cannon fodder (hell, treating everyone like they’re cannon fodder). Which he was, at least in this movie. They couldn’t even give the “Decepticons” lines?! Cheap.

    In fact, this movie reminds me of why I rarely, if ever, watch movies anymore. They took a beautiful thing and shat on it. Just like how Disney shot itself in the head by dropping its animated fare for CGI-generated joke-spewing animals (though The Incredibles was great), the director shows obvious disdain for the source material and figuratively flushes said material down the toilet. Oh, he says the cartoon is “silly”? We were kids! We didn’t really care!! (Well, I wasn’t even conceived yet when the movie came out, but that’s how it goes) Yeah, the Autobots goofed off a lot as you said, but they paid for it in the movie. Optimus Prime was a heroic foil to his troops’ semi-lighthearted antics. Sure, after four million years of deactivation, I would want to play around too and NOT worry about saving the universe from an evil robot with a cigar gun; but this is war. Playing with the puny little maggots (humans) can wait! Something that Mr. Bay here obviously didn’t realize.

    When I first saw the advertisement for this movie waaay back in fall/winter 2006, I thought, “Oh, lovely. How badly can they fuck up the Transformers?” As it turned out, very badly indeed. It could have been a decent summer flick if they’d just kept everyone in character, gave them more screentime than the humans, and NOT turned them all into giant battling fellatio mechs. Well, if they were going to disregard the source material, they might as well have had one of the “robots” kick Sam Witwicky in the balls (thus sending them into cold oblivion) and taunt him with, “Try to get laid NOW!” Preferrably, it would have been The Giant Robot Claiming to be Optimus Prime.

  • Fauna says:

    Ah, another prime example of Hollywood’s recent trend – making CGI bastardizations of popular cartoons.
    A few of my friends went to the movie and emerged home two hours later, disappointed and penniless. One of the lads burned his ticket stub as an act of defiance. Hell, even our local radio DJ declared the movie sucked on the air.
    A few more examples on this recent movie trend are the upcoming “Underdog” [The latter character’s being voiced by Jason Lee…it actually stars real dogs, but it will still be strange.] and “Astro Boy” [There are so many ways this could go horribly wrong. I just pray they leave out the toilet humour.]
    Nothing is sacred.

  • Tresob Yr says:

    I’m a long time TF fan, so I think I was a hard sell to begin with on this movie. That being said, I actually thought they did a fair job translating the Transformers into a summer blockbuster, and when I say “summer blockbuster” I mean that as a genre unto itself. I certainly agree that Megatron and the Decepticons were really just movie monsters, not actual characters. This was unfortunate, but necessary to keep the movie under four hours. I also agree that there were a lot of loose ends or redundant plot points. I really don’t know why all the computer hacking scenes were necessary, except that it gave a breather from fight sequences. I loved how the ebay stuff became a shout-out to the collectors, and how the alien robots didn’t quite understand the cultural significance (or lack thereof) of ebay auctions.
    I actually thought the “teen movie” love story worked. It was a modern update on how Spike and Carley meet through Bumblebee from the original cartoon. It was perhaps a little heavy on male wish-fulfillment…but, again, it’s supposed to be a “summer blockbuster.” In any event, I believed the characters and the actors, and it eased the audience into accepting the robots as “human.”
    I also concede that the death of Jazz was underplayed a bit (and it was a bit disturbing that the “black” Autobot was the only one to get killed). Still, this isn’t the first or last time Prime has dealt with a comrade dying…and it did play off like an homage to the end of any episode of the cartoon, where everyone has a good chuckle despite the horrible trauma they endured.
    My major complaint about this film is that you could feel it hit a narrative speedbump the second Sector 7 showed up. For some reason, Michael Bay thought it was a good idea for John Turturro to play a government agent like Don Knotts when what you really needed was Tommy Lee Jones from MIB.
    I kept expecting Turturro to get squashed by Megatron, while the warrior said “The boy was right. My name is Megatron.” The S7 guy was essentially the lawyer from Jurassic Park, or the businessman from Snakes on a Plane…he is the one human that we want to die and whose death scene makes us cheer.
    The second issue I had with the film is that I think it was cruel to make this a PG-13 movie with foul language and sexual themes. Every eight year old boy in the country wants to see this movie, but Michael Bay had to make the movie in such a way that parents won’t want to expose their kids to it…not because of the violence…but because they won’t want their kids repeating certain words in the schoolyard.

  • Frankly, the fact that they went the “Hollywood Blockbuster” route seems to be exactly the problem.

    Personally, I despise that style of film making.

    I also think it’s totally wrong for Transformers.

    If you ask me this movie should have been done in the style of a Japanese Tokusatsu film. Complete with Transformers played by actors in costumes, like in Sentai (the show Power Rangers is based on). I really think, when done right, that it could look really good that way, and fits well with Transformers.

    I’d still use CGI for transformation sequences. I’d also use it for lip movements, and facial expressions (Tokusatsu Mechs are rarely very expressive). Also, compositing the Transformer characters into the scene so they look gigantic would probably be done digitally. I have no problem with CGI, I just think a “live-action” Transformers movie should have “live-action” Transformers, and I love the Tokusatsu film style almost as much as I despise the “Hollywood Blockbuster” style.

    And, I’m horrified at the thought of what those Hollywood bastards might do to Astro Boy (I love Astro Boy)!

  • (Excuse my double post)

    You know, reading this article and posting what I just did really makes me want to make a Tokusatsu style Giant Robot movie.

    I wish I could come up with an original idea for one.

  • RADIX says:

    Tetsu: You know, you could always redo the “Transformers movie”, by taking out the humans (save Sam), developing everyone (and keep ’em in character), and have better fight scenes. In other words, develop the plot from scratch, because that’s what you’re doing by taking out the human cast. 🙁

  • Eh, Rather just come up with my own characters and concept (an actual indie-film instead of a fan-film).

    I’m thinking something set in a magical fantasy-world full of scenery rather than the typical futuristic/urban environment. And the mechs would be transform from flowers rather than animals or cars, etc.

    The various mech pilots could acquire their mechs as seeds which grow into normal plants. The pilots can summon their robots by setting the plant on the ground and using a password to make it magically turn into a giant mechanical plant that transforms into a fully bipedal giant robot.

  • felix says:

    Look transformers number 1 sets it all up you cant expect it to be ok were autobots they are decipticons now lets fight. Yes it did drag out a bit but it was setting character development up the human armies had to be involved on character development, human stories had to be developed it takrs a while to tell story even the original episodes of the transformers took 3 or 5 episode for more then meets the eye and 5 faces of darkness took 5 episodes yes they were cartoons and yes the yhad more action but in the movies it takes longer time to do this the second one will ahve lot more action going on cause of hte character development has already been built.

  • Satomiblood says:

    I’m in the minority here: I actually loved it. Now does that make me a moron? I’m gathering from your review that it does because the whole thing just oozed with elitism.

    Now I love G1 as much as the next guy, but despite its flaws, I think Transformers did very well in its first try. Could it have been better? Of course. I’m in agreement that the Transformers in general should have gotten more screen time and that the plot revolving around the glasses was essentially useless, but this is the first installment of a 3-4 volume franchise and it should get better with time. You have to understand that Bay and Co. were making this movie not only for old fans (in general, not just hardcore G1), but were using it as a litmus test to bring in a new wave of enthusiasts.

    Again, it could’ve been better. More robot screentime, more Decepticon interaction. I was totally okay with Megatron not appearing until the end, but his battle with Prime could’ve had greater emphasis and it definitely wasn’t as epic as in ’86. Also, Starscream could’ve been introduced earlier. If all the bullshit was wiped clean, there would’ve been time for all of that. But we weren’t involved with the film’s production so it’s a futile argument.

    Granted, this is your opinion, and we see eye to eye on some things but this review lacks a unique argument. It’s another Bay basher. What’s been posted in this entry has already been mentioned in a shitload of reviews, message boards, and blogs. It’ll never stop.

    You should also never, under any circumstance, make a giant robot movie synonymous with someone’s intelligence. This review makes it sound as though Transformers should be on the level of Macbeth, which despite its success, it isn’t.

  • Eruj says:

    I love that the apologists all use the same reasoning. “You have to understand, it’s the first movie in a franchise, and it’ll get better!” Or, “What did you expect from a movie about giant robots” or “You just need to leave your brain at the door, man!”

    Come on. It’s reasoning like that which allows Hollyweird to keep making garbage with no merit and no effort. I completely agree with Wes here – the screenwriters, while claiming to be fans of the original cartoon, had no idea how to make a decent translation.

    I think instead of “Transformers,” the movie should’ve been called, “A Movie About Humans With Some Giant Robots In it.” At least then, none of us who hated the movie would’ve been surprised.

  • Wes says:

    felix: I disagree — if character development were a numerical score, this movie would probably get a negative number. Even though they took center stage and did stuff, the humans didn’t really get anything I can sincerely call “character development” either.

    Satomiblood: Loving this horrible movie doesn’t necessarily make you a moron — after all, you do seem to acknowledge many of its numerous flaws — but in light of that I am incredibly curious about why you loved it (aside from that it was a decent “first try”). “Loved” also seems like a pretty strong word to use for a film that you readily note could have been much better.

    And to be fair, this review was posted on July 11 — shortly after the film’s theatrical release — so to criticize it for reiterating thoughts that have been echoed numerous times in the last five months isn’t really fair. That said, perhaps these flaws get mentioned so often because the movie really does have them. Unless person A is deliberately copying person B’s sentiments upon acknowledging that a sunny day really is a sunny day, you can’t legitimately criticize person A insofar as he is aiming to provide a cursory description of the weather. 😛

    Also, while I do think Michael Bay makes incredibly shitty films, it’s not fair to reduce the review (or me) to a garden variety “Bay basher” either. If any other director had produced the exact same movie, I’d be criticizing that director just as harshly (though I might even throw in a few insulting comparisons to Michael Bay, as his name has sort of become synonymous with incredibly brain-rotting ‘splosion flicks 😉 ). Also, despite knowing that Bay was directing, it’s not as if I had written the movie off as crap before even seeing it. I was there to see it on opening day, and against my better judgment I was actually excited about it. I totally gave it a chance, and it totally let me down. So I totally will not be extending that courtesy to the sequel. 😛

    And no, I wasn’t expecting it to be on the level of Macbeth, but it could at least have been on par with TMNT. I was hardly thrilled by that movie either, but at least, at the end of the day, I can honestly say that TMNT was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Bay’s Transformers, on the other hand, was — as aptly stated by Eruj! — just a movie about humans with a handful of giant robots in it (and mainly towards the very end). Oh, and lots and lots of explosions, too.

    Eruj: Hear, hear! Movies like Transformers (not to mention shows like “Heroes”, which was completely awesome last season but has since become depressingly horrible) are why I am not the least bit upset about the WGA strike.

  • Satomiblood says:

    Wes: Well, even now, you still get the same argument over why people find it terrible. Forgive me if I too was beating a dead horse.

    And what I loved about this movie was the top shelf CGI, the voice acting, freeway chase, and pretty much all the battles despite many of them being short. The issues have more to do with lack of screentime and very questionable portions of the plot (glasses, etc.). But when it came down to the robots themselves, I think they delivered on what little time was allotted to them.

    Many felt Spielberg himself should’ve directed while Bay stayed on as an action and stunt coordinator. I don’t know how much that would’ve helped.

    I’m not keen on Spielberg’s most recent work. And TF is the only Bay movie I really enjoyed, although I’ve never actually criticized anything outside of 2001’s piece of shit Peal Harbor. The Bad Boys franchise was pretty good for what it was.

    p.s. I hope you don’t take this as a personal attack or anything.

    But how personal can you get on the internet anyway (lol)?

  • chris says:

    i saw the film, and i read your review of it… i agree, while i liked the film as a stand alone, it was not the transformers i remember. the physics made more sence, ie megatron did not go from being as big as starscream to being a pistol in his hand, or soundwave go from being the same size to a normal casset player. but they were hardly in the film at all! i only knew who megatron was because the characters named him, starscream was there for the fight at the end but had only a single line and what i thought was ‘supposed’ to be soundwave was a totaly different character, or did i miss the episode where he turned into a hyperactive little gremlin?

    i liked the addition of slang to the autobots, claiming that they learned english by listening to out broadcasts was a nice toutch but should have been done better. LIKE ACTUALY MAKING THE FILM ABOUT THEM!

  • Bolts On Da Gravel says:

    I sorta liked the film, but I’m using sorta in a vague sense.

    To describe Transformers the movie would like trying to describe a train wreck to a person who had been outta town the past week. It just happened.

    The Transformations were good, don’t get me wrong, but yeah, like you said WES it was majorly lacking in robot fights. But I did like the fact that they put Scorpinoc in there.

    Okay moive, hope the sequel is better

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