Scary-Crayon keeps the holiday pieces rolling in with The Five SCARIEST 39¢ Christmas Cards! There’s also an honorable mention and, as is customary with these articles, the special Scary-Crayon card. Joy! Oh, and note that the elves here at SC don’t have pointed ears (hell, they didn’t even have ears in their first appearance). That’s cause we like to fly in the face of convention, baby.

So in addition to the main attraction, we’ve also got A Crayon Haiku #39 (ANOTHER one? Joy!) and Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #68, the latter of which features none other than KING KONG! For those of you wondering how the result in that alternate ending came about, when I drew the piece I had been thinking that, due to Kong’s massive size, penetration by the giant ape (you know, because Jackson’s remake is apparently a love story) would result in all of Ann Darrow’s internal organs being forced upward and out of her mouth — which is why she isn’t wearing a dress and why her legs are intact. (Viewers who are particularly attentive to detail might note the curled toes of the left foot.) Of course, Kong would likely be so large that Ann would be ripped apart upon being entered, to say nothing of what would happen to her during the actual rodeo show, but creative liberties can be taken. For those who don’t want to imagine giant ape on girl beastiality, though, the image still works if we imagine that Kong accidentally crushed poor Annie. We just have to assume that she has very resilient legs.

All for now, then — hopefully I’ll be back with yet ANOTHER holiday piece before December 25th. If not, it’ll be late, but I promise you SANTA before ’05 is out! Seeya then. 🙂