And now, Scary-Crayon presents... "the desolate photographer's plea" by: Wes Excuse me, miss -- hi. I'm very sorry to bother you. Everyone seems to be in such a hurry these days, and I know you're probably heading somewhere to do something important -- good luck with that -- but might I persuade you stop and spare just a moment of your time? See, I'd like to take your picture Wait! Wait. I know how creepy that must sound to you, but hear me out, please: I don't want to blow your photo up at a print shop and tape it to the ceiling, so that on cold, lonely nights I can lie on my back in my quiet flat, gazing up at your precious expression and masturbating furiously; I don't intend to scan your image into my computer and paste your head onto the naked body of a French porn starlet last seen alive in an underground snuff film but prominently featured in two subsequent productions; I don't plan to draw you as an anime character, naked, sweating, and crying out as throbbing tentacles burst through the pavement and pollenate your blooming nether-flower; And I certainly don't intend to use your picture to track you down at your home address, watching you daily from a tree outside your bathroom window until finally working up the nerve to meet you behind the shower curtain I just want to add your photo to my collection so that on those nights when I lose power in my home and all is darkness and my hands grope about in my cluttered desk for the pen knife and oblivion lies just down the block (not across the street), I find instead a small pocket-sized album, browse its contents by candlelight -- pictures of trees, parakeets, sunsets, milkshakes -- and you and remind myself that there is beauty in this world -- Wes -- Psst...wanna make a PayPal donation to Scary-Crayon? Just click the image above! Simple, no? ;)