And now, Scary-Crayon presents a special, action-packed, hippie-hating, CHREESE-filled edition!
It's time for...
Dairy Free Mac & Chreese!!!!
What follows is a true account of the perils of
hippie vegan cuisine
Alice: Okay, what the hell is up with this?? Dairy
Free? Certified Organic? Whole Wheat Pasta? Sounds like dirty hippie food
to me... Lets turn it over and find out.
Alice: Oh god, it's worse than I thought!!!!!!!
Alice: Soy & Nut Free?? I thought that
dirty hippie vegans LIKED soy and nuts? Kosher? Well that's important,
for all those Jewish vegans out there. Good source of folate and iron...
vegans need that because they don't eat meat! Now what the hell is "candidia
albicans"?? That sounds like some sort of nasty venereal disease!!
Ryoko: Why the hell do they call it ch-r-eese anyway???
Alice: Oh my god, this is worse then I thought. Ryoko,
we must destroy this "Mac & Chreese" right away, before
this dirty hippie food infects the whole world!!!
Ryoko: Why don't we cook it first, then chuck it
out? That way no one else will be tempted to make it, and hey, maybe it
will taste good!!
Alice: Look at the ingredients... there is NO WAY
this could ever taste good!
Ryoko: Hey, doesn't sound bad at all, what is wrong
with "organic whole durum flour" and "organic ground yellow
mustard seed" and "organi.... AHHHHHHH"
Alice: WHAT THE HELL?!?!? WHY DID YOU PUSH THE BOX
OVER ON TO ME??
Ryoko: Ohh... er, sorry! I just got so excited about
all the fancy organic ingredients!
Ryoko: Sorry!!!!! Ok, lets make some
MAC & CHREESE!
Alice: Lets just get this over with.
Ryoko: Hmm, okay, it says we need to boil water.
Alice: Okay, you boil water, I'm going to go over
here and pretend I'm not a part of this.
Ryoko: Okay water is in the pot, stove is on, what's
Alice: I don't know, open the box or something!
Ryoko: Ewwww.... why is the pasta brown???
Alice: Because it's made from "organic whole
durum flour", remember?
Ryoko: Oh yeah, eww.
Alice: Dirty pasta for dirty hippies...
-- CLICK HERE FOR PART 2!!!! --