January 1, 2008
HAPPY NEW YEAR from Scary-Crayon!!!

And to kick off 2008, we’ve got two new pieces for you! First, Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #103 makes fun of a recent “guest” on Dateline NBC‘s “To Catch a Predator” segment, which is seriously some of the funniest stuff on TV today despite not really being funny at all. I mean, these guys are child predators and deserve everything they get for actively trying to have sex with children, but I still can’t imagine how terrible it feels not only to lose everything, but to know that your moment of ultimate shame will be broadcast on national television for the entertainment of the viewing public. And yet I just can’t help but laugh — especially when individuals walk in expecting to have oral sex with a twelve-year-old girl and, when confronted by Chris Hansen, mistake him for some kind of benevolent fairy god-therapist. Hilarity.

And then there’s our review of George and the Christmas Star, which is the Christmas-themed article I promised before but am just now getting around to posting. Apologies for the delay, but hopefully you’ll find it to be a worthwhile and amusing read even though it’s a bit late. I really do mean the sappy stuff at the end, by the way — I very much appreciate that you take time out of your schedule to drop by and read my goofy and insignificant thoughts on action figures and TV shows and whatnot. 🙂

Here’s to another year together, minna-san! :mrgreen:

-posted by Wes | 8:57 pm | Comments (7)
  • Molly says:

    Good times! Loved the Hot Flash, and the George article brought back memories of watching the DVD you sent me. I’m glad you enjoy it so. I think we all have some childhood specials that hold special places in our hearts. For me, these usually involve Garfield, Bugs Bunny, or Mickey Mouse.

    Hope 2008 is great; looking forward to more s-c goodness:)

  • What’s this about pedophiles and fairy god-therapists? I don’t watch the news (I actively avoid news-media on protest).

    I gather there’s someone out there tricking those sick bastards into getting their just deserts. But, what’s the “fairy god-therapist” stuff mean?

    Anyway, this Christmas special looks awesome! Especially Ralph’s intro song. I kinda wish CN would get ahold of this one.

    I think the most obscure X-mas special I like is Jim Henson’s “Emmett Otter’s Jug-band Christmas”. I did see the DVD at the book-store, but by then I had already blown all my cash on gifts for everyone.

    At any rate, Amen to all you said about friendship and I’m glad you appreciate us reading your site. I hope you had a really great Christmas.

    As for guest articles, I did get 4 dollar-store Ninja action figures for Christmas (I guess my Mother noticed how cool I thought they were). I’m planning to make a stop-motion short with them (I also got a new Digital Video camera) but I could probably write a pretty decent article about them too (If I just knew how to submit).

  • RADIX says:

    Your Christmas Star article is another example of what I missed because I quit watching TV/wasn’t born at the time of release. It stands heads above every modern Christmas special, that’s for sure. 🙂

    And your newest Hot Flash is more proof that these pedos are fucked in the head beyond all redemption. Forget the fairy god therapist; where’s my BAT?

  • billie says:

    This one is just beautiful =p

  • the Jax says:

    Hey, didn’t the Madballs fly past the 8-ball planet, too? When they were escaping slavery?

  • Wes says:

    Molly: Yes, I believe that was the first Christmas we were associated! Thanks for bearing with me for so long — and I similarly look forward to seeing what AJ has in store for the new year. 🙂

    Tetsu: Not sure what was up with the commenting thing, but I’m glad you’re able to do it now! I went ahead and removed the test post and modified your other comment accordingly in keeping with the fix. Drop me a line if you have trouble in the future, though — we’ll see if we can’t recreate the conditions and get to the root of the problem.

    Anyway, regarding “To Catch a Predator” — it can hardly be called news. It does masquerade as a news-related program, but the entertainment it provides is more or less in the same vein as Jerry Springer. Imagine a Candid Camera-style show, except the people being pranked are pedophiles who are afterwards tackled by law enforcement and carted off to jail. It’s terrible, but it’s so fucking funny.

    But don’t take my word for it — check out these YouTube links and see for yourself!


    The fairy god-therapist joke stemmed from one predator’s assumption that Chris Hansen was a friendly neighborhood therapist, when the truth was, of course, that he was a reporter outing the dude for his pedophilia. On national television. Hilarity. And when Hansen asked him what should happen to him, the guy really did break out laughing and suggest exile to an island.

    Remind me to look up Emmett Otter’s Jug-band Christmas at some point!

    And regarding submissions, check the front page (or the writing section, and someday the What is Scary-Crayon? page when I get around to revising it) — I’ve just posted the official guidelines!

    RADIX: Despite what IMDb says, I’m not sure if George and the Christmas Star ever actually aired on TV. If it did, that’s not where I saw it! Anyway, if you do want to see it, it’s available on VHS (which is what I have). Oddly enough, some DVDs featuring the special have also popped up on eBay as of late, though I can’t speak for their quality or legitimacy. I suspect they simply include a VHS rip of the special, but I’ll have to pick one up at some point to indulge my curiosity.

    And yes, these pedos… but on the other hand, you have to wonder what they’d be like without the Internet. If these guys were set free immediately but simply forbidden to use computers, would they act on their fantasies, or keep them closeted? Does the Internet inspire a sort of temporary insanity that emboldens losers to do what they would otherwise never even dare to consider? I’m not certain — and I don’t know whether there’s a legal precedent for this line of argument or not — but it could make for a compelling defense.

    Not that anyone should want to get pedophiles off the hook, of course. Just saying.

    billie: Glad you approve!

    Jax: The Madballs did fly past an eight-ball planet, though I don’t think it’s the same one — here are the respective images:

    Madballs planets
    George planets

    Still, it’s kind of neat to think of them all as inhabiting the same galaxy, isn’t it? And if nothing else, the notion of multiple eight-ball planets in the expanded universe is fairly cool. 🙂

  • On the subject of internet pedophilia, I’d just like to point out this great vid I found…


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