Bits & Pieces

Like this website, they can survive being frozen.

A Crayon Haiku #141!

Believe your eyes, dear reader, and be not deceived… after nearly three years of inactivity, there actually is a new thing on Scary-Crayon. A small thing, mind you, but still a thing! Behold: A Crayon Haiku #141.  (7/25/20)

Chu-chu-chu-chu, ha-ha-ha-ha


Those wacky gross-out spheroids from the ’80s are back with a vengeance — and what better way to claim that vengeance than to murder horny teenagers? Behold: the Madballs incarnation of Jason Voorhees.  (10/13/17)

Batman's gonna bring it.


It seems like everyone’s got something nasty to say about Batman v Superman — but don’t let those folks lead you astray! BvS is the most brilliant film ever conceived, and Zack Snyder is a bonafide genius.  (4/1/16)

Pssst... Sci-Fi Speed Dating costs $20.


Sci-Fi Speed Dating is a thing, and Wes experienced it at Awesome Con 2015. Despite the nifty name, it’s way less futuristic than it sounds. (Also, it totally costs money. I think that’s supposed to be a secret.)  (6/6/15)


Dusty Plastic HELLside #43!

New comic? New comic. In Dusty Plastic HELLside #43 — which, by the way, is totally based on a true story — we see why Wes prefers to avoid nightclubs. Things get waaay too dramatic in nightclubs, son.  (5/13/14)

"to kiss Donatello"

Crayon Poetry Corner #15

In this poem — “to kiss Donatello” — a woman reflects on her upbringing and memories of the TMNT. There aren’t any NSFW images, but expect weird looks from your boss if he/she reads over your shoulder.  (2/14/14)

Now you're just somebody that I used to know...


We all regret things. What do you regret? I know what I regret. This article is about that road not taken that we wish we had taken — it is about regret. That’s “regret,” not “egret.” There are no leggy birds in this article.  (5/25/13)

Even the wind is on George's side.

Paperman can go to heck.

Special for Valentine’s Day, here’s a review of Paperman — the Disney short that’s garnered heaps of critical acclaim and multiple award nominations just for being so flippin’ adorable. Wes kinda hates it, though.  (2/14/13)

One part man, one part mutt, Dogpound is ALL evil!


In this video review (our first, kinda!) we take a long look at Dogpound from the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon line. The figure’s far from perfect, but it’s still a fun and worthy addition to your TMNT collection.  (2/6/13)

Leonardo + Karai = penetration

Dusty Plastic HELLside #42!

Last week, Karai made her debut on the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ‘toon… and she and Leonardo made with the flirting within moments of meeting each other. Seriously — it was sooooo obvious.  (2/6/13)

It's called... what?

Dusty Plastic HELLside #41!

Peer into the not-so-dark recesses of Wes’s unconscious mind in Dusty Plastic HELLside #41! In this strip — based on actual (dreamed) events! — Wes chats with a friend about the nature of her latest home brew.  (1/29/13)

The voices. The voices. The voices.

Dusty Plastic HELLside #40!

Hurray for guest appearances! In Dusty Plastic HELLside #40, we learn that Wes could probably be delayed by a “pretty please” and a pile of rice on the floor. Garlic, on the other hand, just makes him more powerful.  (1/15/13)

She'll put a spell on you...

Bratzillaz: Cloetta Spelletta!

If you thought we couldn’t stoop lower than My Little Pony love, BEHOLD: Scary-Crayon now reviews Bratz dolls. In our defense, the Bratzillaz subline looks pretty wicked — as you’ll see in this review of Cloetta Spelletta.  (12/5/12)

"Curse you, American voters!"


With President Obama’s reelection, a lot of folks are very unhappy… including Lord Ha’ntaan, the Rat King. In Dusty Plastic HELL #8, Donatello questions the ruler of rodents regarding his support for Romney’s candidacy!  (11/8/12)

Something evil's watching over you...


When Dr. Curtis Connors experimented with reptile DNA, he never imagined that he would become one of Spidey’s deadliest foes: the Lizard! Here’s our review of the 6-inch figure from Hasbro’s Amazing Spider-Man line.  (11/4/12)

Kickin' back with Drac.

A HELLside Halloween!!!

Just a quick ‘n’ creepy edition of Dusty Plastic HELLside to wish y’all a happy Halloween! The spooky never stops on SC, but we still hope the y’all enjoy this special night and don’t get too sick from candy and BLOOD.  (10/31/12)

Repent -- before it's too late!


Evangelical churches might not be big on Halloween, but they have Judgement House — a walk-through drama that takes attendees on a journey through Heaven and Hell. It’s actually pretty darned fascinating.  (10/25/12)

The path to power begins with a step.


Since it’s never too early to start planning for next year’s San Diego Comic-Con, Scary-Crayon takes a look back at the nifty stuff that was on display in the Petco Park parking lot during SDCC 2012. HAIL SHREDDER!  (10/12/12)