Archives 
Search 
Hard to believe it’s been a whole week since the last update. Sorry about that, y’all! I haven’t been feeling terribly well. It’s not that I’m sick, and I’m not even feeling that ickiness that precedes the onset of illness — it’s more like a vague ickiness that precedes the general ickiness that precedes the onset of illness. Its only real symptom is that I’ve been extremely tired and my veins feel like they’re filled with that slime that accompanies certain canned meats. I really don’t know.
Anyway, new pieces today! The more substantial of the two, FREE FOOD DAY!!!, contains a review of the free offerings at California Tortilla and McDonald’s on last Friday the 13th, as well as more general comments about the thoughts that went through my head and the sights that I saw during my adventure to attain these cost-free edibles. Also, I saw a taco man. I spoke to the taco man. The taco man did not reply. Because taco men cannot speak. This is a pretty weird piece, and I was kinda suffering from the ickiness mentioned above when I wrote it (not that I’m not suffering from it now…), so I’d be especially interested to hear what you think of it. ‘Cause while subsequent articles may not even pay the lip service to the general theme that this one did, I could see doing more “adventures around town” type articles in the future.
And then there’s the latest installment of Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash. Surely you’ve seen those ads in which the giant, talking Pop Tarts run around and try their best to avoid being eaten — and sadly fail each time — yes? Every time I watch one of those commercials I get sad and angry. I mean, I like Pop Tarts too, but there’s no way I’d try to eat a living Pop Tart if I met one. I’d even beat the shit out of anyone who tried to take a bite out of him. I mean, think about it — a Pop Tart that can walk and talk and fear for its life is, for all practical purposes, a human being, albeit one that looks and possibly tastes a lot like a Pop Tart. So these fuckers going after them are cannibals. Are we supposed to be rooting for them? Also, these Pop Tarts try really hard. Okay, sometimes they do dumb things like lick poles and hide in giant toasters, but in that one short they actually managed to build a rocket ship and fly to the moon — only to be eaten by giant green one-eyed aliens. Fucked. Up. I could see if these people were scientists who wanted to study the living Pop Tarts and find out if they had organs or were being animated by other, supernatural means, but these creatures that simply want to eat them really make me angry. So in this comic, the Pop Tart finally wins. A winner is the Pop Tart. Yes.
All for now. And do remember, Scary-Crayon turns two years old one week from today! Hopefully I’ll feel better and have some unique articles up to celebrate. But hopefully I’ll post something else before then, too. Ja!
ninjawolf 
Lei 
Kristen 
Dwayne 
RADIX 
I really miss the old pop-tart commercial with the humanoid strawberry being kidnapped. That was the best commercial ever!
Also, I think that burrito looked great, but then again I rather like beans and rice. If you don’t, I can see what the problem is. Still, it was free.
Anyway, I’d certainly like to see more “town adventure” articles, especially since I live in an even sadder town that makes yours look pretty good to me. MY town’s a hell-hole.
BTW I think most of your readers, myself included, keep those same wacky hours.