agustinaldo says:

Women read Cosmopolitan.

To the best of my knowledge, you are NOT a woman.

Thus, you can’t truly understand and enjoy Cosmopolitan.

I’m not a woman either, so I guess neither can I.

One thing you COULD review is Seanbaby’s site. Man, that dude is like a crazier, raunchier version of you

Andi says:

One year, I thought my mother bought Cosmo for me. I was like, what…?

The day I realized it in my mail, my friend grabbed the magazine and for one of the “10 Great Ways You Know He Is His” (or something like that), she went through it adding her own little “comments”. And the magazine was destroyed.

I see girls my age reading it all the time. I think they are immature and most of the stuff goes over the heads. And it’s a bunch of crap. The end. I just want to print this all out and shove it in their faces. But I’m not that cruel.

This was a good article. I’m surprised you could read a woman’s magazine. You should tackle a Seventeen magazine. Their “true life” stories are so amazingly stupid. 🙂

Greg says:

agustinaldo, there’s no need to be a jerk.

Again, this is one my favorite articles in a long time. You’re as fresh as ever, Wes! 🙂

Tetsu Deinonychus says:

Paragraph 3!

I have said a rant that has pretty much the same gist as paragraph 3 (but with more profanity) every time I have ever seen a “woman’s magazine”, and THAT’S EVERY DAY! I am just SO glad I’m not the only one who thinks that way.

Anyway, the “you’re not a woman, so you can’t understand” thing is horse-shit! I know plenty of intelligent women that thankfully wouldn’t touch Cosmo and it’s ilk with a 40-foot pole, and one doesn’t need to be a specific age or gender to recognize crap.

On that note, Wes, if you’re going to review the “Woman’s Magazines” you should review the equally braindead “Men’s Magazines”. Every issue is 40 pages of paranoia about impotence, a reassurence that size doesn’t matter, sex / relationship advice that assumes all women are sluts, and a bunch of beer and football stuff. Again, horse-shit is horse-shit.

And agustinaldo, I don’t think I’d be reading Wes’s site if it wasn’t for Seanbaby. My love for internet comedy started with his site, and to other sites like X-E, I-Mockery, and this one. But, I’ve never seen an online comedian review another one’s site.

I’ve found Seanbaby is the best with ruthless sarcasm, X-E’s Matt’s the best with recapturing childhood and nostalgia, the I-mockery crew have the most variety and are great at just being wacky, and Wes has the most “intellectual” content since he’ll even write short stories and discuss serious issues beyond basic “Pop Culture”.

CL says:

“Some will say that it’s because I’m not a woman, but I think it’s just because I’m not a complete and total idiot.”

Haaaaaaaaaagh, must read the rest later! Love it so far.

Red Lioness says:

Can I get an A-men, brother?

Sometimes it’s painful being an intelligent human being in modern candy-floss pop culture.

jazzy says:

Oh my god, that article was fucking brilliant. I hate Cosmo. And yes, I am a woman. Not all of us are as goddamn stupid as Cosmo assumes we are. Thank you for realizing that.

DrNightmare says:

Here’s the thing, Cosmo is aimed at average women. Average people usually pick-up and read literature only because they think they will agree with the author of the piece. Average people don’t go looking to read literature they KNOW they will hate because the average person doesn’t want to read crap they don’t agree with.

Cosmo is for average women, not women who are sharp as a tack and can sense bullshit coming a mile away. This isn’t for women who can take 2 seconds to re-read what they just read and point-out all the flaws in logic. This mag isn’t for women who are in any way grounded to reality. it’s not for critical thinkers who make decisions based on their own observations and gut-feelings. Cosmo is for the average woman, in other words, Cosmo is for women you most likely wouldn’t even want as a friend because they’d bore you to tears.

Guys don’t want an average woman (unless that average woman is willing to let us bang them with minimal effort, of course). For the long-run, guys want interesting women, women who go out and ride horses or rock-climb or go para-sailing despite the fact that they have Genital Herpes (don’t you just love those commercials?).

Cosmo is a magazine that tells average women to be more than what they are, a noble gesture, but it gives horribly skewed and inaccurate tips on how to do it. Being the average Lemming, they follow the directions to the letter, even if it takes them in circles or straight off a cliff.

I forgot my original point, but I just wanted to share those few thoughts. >__>