July 14, 2005
Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #47!

Hidey ho, neighbors, and welcome back to Scary-Crayon! Today, for your viewing pleasure, we’ve got Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #47 — an attack of sorts on the newspaper comic strip Jump Start. ‘Cause you know what? I fucking hate that comic. It’s like a cross between Blondie and Andy Capp only entirely lacking any of the qualities that made either of those comics even remotely charming. And yeah, it’s not the only unfunny comic in the paper, but most of the worst ones — like Marmaduke and Family Circus, for example, which I think is fucking stupid too — are at least mainstays and can at least claim traditional status.

Honestly, the only reason I can think of that that comic would have been printed at all is because OMG IT FEATURES CHARACTERS OF COLOR, hence the joke in today’s Hot Flash. Jump Start certainly does “diversify” my morning funnies reading experience, though, because it ensures that the giggles induced by Pearls Before Swine are followed by groans and a desire to dip the comics page in a flour and water paste and, having fashioned a makeshift paper mache shiv, seek out Robb Armstrong (the creator of the comic) and stab the holy bejeezus out of him, because murdering him in this manner is the only way I’d derive the slightest modicum of enjoyment from his terrible strip.

And thus ends my psychotic rant! See y’all next time, minna-san.

-posted by Wes | 2:27 am | Comments (7)
  • Josh says:

    what do they even talk about?

  • Wes says:

    Today’s comic they had suitcases in the womb and talked about being born with “emotional baggage.” Fucking stupid.

  • Robweiller says:

    Eww… Got any links to that prenatal masterpiece?

  • Wes says:


    Apparently the babies were born, so now I imagine some of the focus will return to the unfunny antics of the adults.

  • Molly says:

    Oh man that comic sucks (Jumpstart, not yours!). every time I read it, the plotline is “my brother in law’s a football player and my kid did something cute.” luckily we only get it in the sunday paper.

    I wish you’d bash family circus. mainstay or not, it is the unfunniest thing ever.

  • Robweiller says:

    :/ – that should stay for my comment on Jumpstart. So boring.
    When are you going to post “Tales of Seduction part 2” review? The first one was really good, I must say…^_^

  • Wes says:

    Molly: Ah, but I could never bash the Family Circus! It may not be all that funny, but the comic has undeniable heart — it’s hard to hate anything in which a kid’s dead grandmother’s ghost comes down from Heaven to give him a goodnight kiss. That didn’t stop Pearls Before Swine from lampooning it for an entire week, though!

    Rob: Probably another week or so — I’ve got a few other pieces I want to get up before returning to U-Jin. Also, I like keeping y’all in suspense. 😉

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