August 7, 2007
Face Flippin’ Chris Benoit!

I know, I know, I always say this — but again, apologies for the lengthy period in between Scary-Crayon updates. I always say this too, but I do have a bunch of planned content for the site, so hopefully I’ll have more content up here in the near future! I still want to get the Shanghai article done at some point, but I’ve also got a planned featurette on “Boy Meets World”, a retrospective concerning this year’s Otakon anime convention, and tons of reviews of knockoff Transformers toys. Seriously on that last one — I went insane last week and spent nearly $80 on the things — so the only way I can even remotely justify that is by using them as review fodder for the site. In fact, although I’ll probably lump multiple figures into the subsequent pieces, the very next SC article will probably focus exclusively on bootleg Megatron. But more about that when the time comes.

Today’s feature is another toy review — this one of Face Flippin’ Fighters Chris Benoit. I hope that it doesn’t net me a bevy of hate mail and angry comments, as I genuinely did enjoy Chris Benoit’s matches and respect him as a performer. I was genuinely (if only momentarily) saddened when I heard the news about his death. But I admit that I was also genuinely amused once I recalled that, in addition to being a gifted wrestler in real life, he was also a psychotic and brutal bastard on television. So let’s not pretend that I’m super sick for some of the comments that I make in this article — if Anthony Hopkins murdered his wife and ate her liver, you know damned well you’d have something sarcastic to say as well. 😛

All for now then, minna-san. See you next time — which will hopefully be sooner than later! :mrgreen:

-posted by Wes | 12:14 am | Comments (9)
  • Don Alejandro says:

    Oh, lord. I’m definitely going to hell for laughing at that comic.

    On a side note, is the Kim Possible figure’s hair just growing through the top of its head, giving her a severe case of side-bald?

  • Matto says:

    The irony of that comic is well directed. Hooray for Wes! =D

    On the other hand, the one thing that people are talking about that revovles th Chris Benoit murder/suicide is his son. Chris and his wife were having arguements over their son, since it was discovered he had a rare medical condition that left him with a learning disability and semi-mental retardation. That, and it’s been rumored that Chris used steriods.

    Such a tragedy it was.

  • They say there’s a fine line between Tragedy and Comedy. And, you just took a flying leap over it.


    This gives me an idea. Does anybody know if they ever made Football player action figures? I’d love to get an OJ one.

  • Wes says:

    Don: KP’s hair “growth” doesn’t quite extend quite to her ears, but it definitely spread out enough over her plastic scalp to keep her out of the side bald club. To give you an idea of where it is, assume that they added the hair before they sculpted her ears and wanted to make sure that they had just a little extra room to work.

    Matt: Yeah — that’s pretty much the reason I passed on a joke equating the effects of Benoit’s rolling German suplex to brain damage. And it’s pretty much a given that Benoit used steroids at some point, though apparently roid rage has been ruled out as a potential cause of the murders.

    Tetsu: They did (and likely still do; I’m not sure) manufacture collectible figures of football players at one point (we used to sell them at KB), though they were mostly stuck in static poses and lacked any extensive articulation. I’m not sure that they ever made any OJ figures along these lines, however, as those started long after he’d retired. That said, an eBay search reveals that there was an OJ Simpson action figure… but given that it was released in 1975, it is hella expensive now. For $100 to $200+, one can be yours.

  • Hmm…

    Even at that price, it’s kinda tempting.

    It’d be neat to have an OJ figure to use for a series of Stop-Motion gag-shorts on YouTube.

    But, it might be more frugal and more fun to try to make my own.

  • haywood says:

    That was pretty awesome.

    Benoit was one of my favorites back during my wrasslin’ phase. I don’t know what else to say about that.

  • Flamingo Twist says:

    oi oi. its the 31st of august 07, and i’ve just found a benoit toy in my woolworths. its the first one i’ve seen since the “incident”. Naturally i bought it, but i also bought a rey mysterio one to cancel it out

  • Jester says:

    Hey Wes,
    I found a Flex-Um’s Chris Benoit this week…very weird that it also wasn’t removed.

  • Wes says:

    Yeah, it doesn’t seem like any stores cared to remove Benoit figures from the shelves. You’d think they would have with all of the crap parents complain about, but I still routinely see CB figs warming the pegs at KB Toys.

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