As promised, here’s our review of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra! I really didn’t think it was all that bad — and I can definitely see picking up the DVD on sale and watching it once more — though it’s not the kind of movie I could ever love or recommend wholeheartedly. I did have fun doing the comics, though! I’d originally intended for them to be read in full as two separate comics, but I decided to separate panels in order to break up the text. Feel free to skip the text and just read them on your first pass, especially if you’re worried about spoilers. This review does have some spoilers, though I don’t explicitly give away any of the so-called surprises. The surprises are stupid, by the way.
Also! Here is a paragraph that I cut from the original review because I thought it went off on too much of a tangent. But that’s pretty much what these blog entries are for, so here it is!
At any rate, there’s the argument that while Cobra’s scheme was needlessly complicated and stupid, it was arguably intentionally so within the context of the movie… but it seems like the desired result could have been achieved without even attracting the attention of the heroes (or anyone else) and certainly without sacrificing the resources and personnel that Cobra lost in the battle with the Joe forces. This is one of those movies that makes me think I was supposed to be a supervillain (or at least should be writing their plans), since I would have come up with something so much more sensible. Then again, my plan probably wouldn’t have been as easily foiled (at least outwardly) as Cobra’s, so perhaps it’s best that I’m not writing the villains’ schemes. Every film can’t end with an evil victory, after all…
Yep. Anyway, see you next time!
Great review, man. I wrote a similar piece on Retrobate, detailing how much I enjoyed the movie but likewise admitting that I couldn’t really recommend it.