August 13, 2009
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra REVIEWED!!!

As promised, here’s our review of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra! I really didn’t think it was all that bad — and I can definitely see picking up the DVD on sale and watching it once more — though it’s not the kind of movie I could ever love or recommend wholeheartedly. I did have fun doing the comics, though! I’d originally intended for them to be read in full as two separate comics, but I decided to separate panels in order to break up the text. Feel free to skip the text and just read them on your first pass, especially if you’re worried about spoilers. This review does have some spoilers, though I don’t explicitly give away any of the so-called surprises. The surprises are stupid, by the way.

Also! Here is a paragraph that I cut from the original review because I thought it went off on too much of a tangent. But that’s pretty much what these blog entries are for, so here it is!

At any rate, there’s the argument that while Cobra’s scheme was needlessly complicated and stupid, it was arguably intentionally so within the context of the movie… but it seems like the desired result could have been achieved without even attracting the attention of the heroes (or anyone else) and certainly without sacrificing the resources and personnel that Cobra lost in the battle with the Joe forces. This is one of those movies that makes me think I was supposed to be a supervillain (or at least should be writing their plans), since I would have come up with something so much more sensible. Then again, my plan probably wouldn’t have been as easily foiled (at least outwardly) as Cobra’s, so perhaps it’s best that I’m not writing the villains’ schemes. Every film can’t end with an evil victory, after all…

Yep. Anyway, see you next time! :mrgreen:

-posted by Wes | 8:20 pm | Comments (3)
  • Monte says:

    Great review, man. I wrote a similar piece on Retrobate, detailing how much I enjoyed the movie but likewise admitting that I couldn’t really recommend it.

    • Wes says:

      Thanks! I read your review and definitely understand where you’re coming from, though with you being a Joe fan I’m a little surprised you didn’t dislike it. Considering all of the changes they made to certain characters, I think I would’ve been disgusted if I were more into and/or familiar with the G.I. Joe franchise.

      At any rate, I’m glad we both recognize that it’s not a great film! If we lose the ability to recognize a bad movie when we see one, well… we’ve probably lost the ability to properly judge other stuff too. 😐

  • DrNightmare says:

    If I had disfiguring scarring and could heal it, I wouldn’t. I’d rather have an excuse to turn super-villain and use my technology for terrorizing the general population. An evil genius with no tell-tale trauma sucks, he’s just some loony with a gimmick. But a villain with plausible trauma becomes something to be feared because he’s not faking madness, his anguish is real, and so is the pain he will inflict upon you and your loved ones, including your pets.

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