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Yes, today we’ve actually got three pieces for you. In addition to the freaky fourth installment of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told, there are Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #86 and a “review” of the La Tasca Spanish Tapas Bar & Restaurant in Baltimore, MD. Now, as noted in the piece, I don’t particularly get off on restaurant critiques of the traditional sort that one finds in magazines and newspapers, to say nothing of the even less interesting kind that pepper weblog entries and the like. It pisses me off that people are so enthusiastic about restaurants and eating in general, especially when there’s no creativity on their part involved. (Personally, if it were possible, I would have my stomach replaced with a computer — but insofar as it is not, I do try to make something interesting out of this basic life necessity. Maybe not interesting to everyone, but those people should be eaten by hyenas.) So after the introductory remarks, this review focuses on my experience at the restaurant, much of which was determined by my semi-creepy infatuation with the utterly gorgeous waitress, because even that is far more interesting than noting that I ate food and it was good and telling you that you should do the same. I’d much rather you create your own dish from random ingredients and read Schleiermacher (or Scary-Crayon! ;)).
As noted on the content pages, there’s nothing particularly involved about the Hot Flash — I just happened to be sitting at La Tasca waiting to meet my server when the woman at the table next to me exclaimed that she liked her shirt, stood, and pulled it down such that it highlighted her breasts. They weren’t nearly as big as I drew them in the comic, though. Also, note the slight difference in the background color of the Hot Flash — that’s intentional. We were just off of the river and enjoying the breeze from that direction, so I made the background kind of a sea green. Yep.
Got a comment from someone that I thought had a cool website devoted to OROKU SAKI, but it was actually a spam comment that linked to a site that sells paper shredders. I dunno, I thought it was funny.
And speaking of spam, I keep getting these e-mails asking me if I’m worried about the loss of “erectoin”. Not really, seeing as how I don’t even know what that is! But considering that thinking about what “erectoin” might be (maybe a special grade of heroin that makes one horny and high?) made me think of Ghostbusters, I move that we add the term “erecto-plasm” to the list of slang terms for semen.
Until next time, minna-san. 🙂
sb 
1-If you liked that cute, nice woman so much, why didn’t you talk to her?
Is the big bad Wes shy around gorgeus women? I don’t think so.
I mean, that chick would probably be flattered to hear that you consider her one of the most beautiful woman in the world.
And it’s not like you haven’t got charms: you have an athletic buld, a sharp mind, and a big heart.
And you have the soul of a poet, so you could make a poem or a song or a haiku about her.
So yes, Idefinetly think you have a chance with her.
2-Well, I think restaurant reviews are there to tell you if the food there is worth eating. You know, to warn you that a restaurant might serve crap food, or to show you a restaurant with really good food.
Or at least that how it SHOULD be.
3-Your review is not creepy at all.
And your infatuation with that girl is not creepy either. In fact, it’s kind of adorable.