September 24, 2006
Crayon Haiku #52 and #53! And holy hell…!

It’s thirty-four syllables in all with two new installments of A Crayon Haiku! I generally wouldn’t post them all at once like this without some more substantial fare too, but I felt I had to get A Crayon Haiku #52 out since it’s apparently been finished since May — guess I just forgot about it. I won the CD via the weekly drawing at a local goth club. 🙂

The real star of today’s show is A Crayon Haiku #53, though, which I just had to scribble and post immediately after watching New York Minute because holy hell that movie was horrible. I mean, Greg of Pop Arena told me it was bad, and I’ve seen lots of bad movies, but in no way was I prepared for the pure and unadulterated horrendousness of this film. You’d like me to do an audio review, wouldn’t you? But I honestly can’t think of what it would contain except a half-hour litany of curses and the odd blanket statement of fucked-up nonsensical details like “Andy Richter spoke with a stereotypical Chinese accent for most of the film” and “they visited a salon called the House of Bling.” Despite the positive attitude with which they appeared to regard their work on the movie in the making-of featurette, I refuse to believe that the cast and crew were aiming to create anything other than the worst film ever made. Everyone who had anything to do with it should be promptly and painfully exterminated with extreme prejudice. If I were standing in the front hall of a church and a smiling six-year-old girl with a frilly blue Sunday school dress and flowers in her hair told me she loved this movie, I would be strongly tempted to punch her hard in the face in front of the entire congregation and then burn the place to the ground with everyone in it faster than the Micro Machines guy can shout, “Hallelujah!” Holy fucking bloody hell.

In other news, I’ve been playing with the prototype layout for the new extended Dusty Plastic HELL toy comics (yes, after two years, Krang’s saga will finally be resolved), so have a look and tell me what you think of the various color schemes. I’m personally leaning towards the browns, though the greys don’t look too bad either. And of course, additional color suggestions are always welcome. 🙂

P.S. See if you can spot the minor changes to the content pages. 😀

-posted by Wes | 8:16 am | Comments (4)
  • agustinaldo says:

    This “New York Minute” surely can’t be worst than “The Libertine”.

    Now THAT was definetly the crappiest movie ever made.

    Johnny Depp was obviously snorting coke when he starred in that movie.

  • Wes says:

    Judging from IMDb’s plot outline — The story of John Wilmot (Depp), a.k.a. the Earl of Rochester, a 17th century poet who famously drank and debauched his way to an early grave, only to earn posthumous critical acclaim for his life’s work. — there’s no way The Libertine can’t be better than New York Minute. Shit, Depp’s inclusion alone would catapult the movie into an entirely different league than the Olsens’ awful flick.

  • agustinaldo says:

    Trust me, you have to see it to pass judgement on the film.

    I saw it in a theater, and it was BY FAR the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen.

  • Molly says:

    Haha… oh dear. No thumbs up for the Olsens.

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