But first, a heads up! As mentioned in today’s article, there’s a new product in the Scary-Crayon store! Some of you may recall the Feaster Bunny, that wascally infant-munching wabbit that first appeared in our Easter Hot Flash chowing down on the baby Jesus and was later seen devouring the offspring of pregnant vegetables in ST@N’s guest comic. Now, ladies, you can wear his sacreligious first outing on your crotch with the Feaster thong! HUZZAH!!!
As you see above, in addition to tacitly promoting cunnilingus and featuring blasphemous imagery, the Feaster thong also refers to an actual Biblical verse — so if you figure that you’re going to Hell anyway, you might as well go in wacky Scary-Crayon style! Only $10.99, kiddies.
But I digress — the real reason we’re here is for today’s update, in which we plunge into The Infernal Realm of Paid Surveys. Oh, the article starts off normally enough, but then it quickly plunges into an epic quest of soul-searing damnation. All hope is lost for me, dear readers, but perhaps this tale of my adventure in darkness might supply you with the knowledge necessary to approach a light that I will never see. Read on — read on! — and take heed of my song.
And finally, a couple of plugs. Pop Arena has moved and is now settling in at its new domain, so y’all should definitely head over there with house — er — domain-warming presents! Greg’s newest article is an actual interview with one of the Burger King kids of old, so he can actually boast of having true journalistic integrity now. Also, Shin of Twisted Kaiju Theater threw us a bone with a mention last week, so I’d like to return the favor! Apparently Shin’s currently doing a crossover of sorts with the highly popular NYC-based Alien Loves Predator, so go check that out.
And that’s all for now. Ja ne, minna-san!
Internet surveys? Dear Christ, Wes! Do you know what horrible spirits you have unleashed upon your computer? Your hard drive’s probably got more viral entities crawling about within than Courtney Love’s diseased womb! Madness, madness!
Also, as much as I love Scary-Crayon, and as much as I like Alien loves Predator, nothing, NOTHING will ever make me read that reeking cesspool of filth and furry pedophilia Neo-Monster Island again. Seriously, what the hell is up with all the animal porn on his site anyway? I can understand that he’s a fan, but JESUS CHRIST… HE WANTS TO PUT TITS ON A GIANT NUCLEAR LIZARD AND THEN FUCK IT.
Also: Feaster Bunny thongs. Awesome.