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I realize I’m probably a little late to the ball with today’s article — the puberty connection in the first film was pretty widely noted, and when, after writing the piece, I did a quick web search to see just how many people had emphasized the webbing/semen comparison, this review turned up — but hopefully I took it far enough for it to still be an amusing piece. He’s jizzing on people! As I write this the search terms spider-man and “jizzing on people” don’t yield any Google results. Soon, they will.
Also, here’s a digression I excised from the article but am still very much interested in addressing, so I put the question to you here: Are you aware of any comic book heroes whose actual spit constitutes one of their superpowers? I can think of a few villains, and there are characters who spit fire and energy beams and the like — and the Fly used his spit to terrifyingly memorable effect — but that’s not what I mean. Granted, I have seen video game and cartoon characters whose loogies and even boogers are used for good — the Toxic Avengers, for example — but these characters are supposed to be gross. Any ideas here?
Anyway, Spider-Man is gross. ENJOY. Seeya next time!
P.S. As subtly noted in the previous article, my birthday is this coming Tuesday… so if you’d like to make me happy by buying stuff or making donations or sending presents that don’t explode (ask me how!) or simply commenting or sending e-mails to that effect, feel free. 😉
agustinaldo 
Scorn the Terrible 
Great article, Wes; I thought the same thing, although I was more positive about it. I PREFER the wrist-spurted web-jizz over the device. It just adds to the whole “spider mutation” thing Peter Parker’s got goin’ on. Sure, it’s not realistic as noted by Yahtzee at http://www.fullyramblomatic.co.....4-0711.htm , but then again, if we’re gonna pick nits, then I’m sure there’s a LOT more we could question.
Also: I’d love to do a little somethin’ to celebrate the day of your birth, Wes! TELL US HOW. WE DEMAND THE KNOWLEDGE. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. AND POWER IS EVERYTHING.