October 11, 2007
Count 04: Tulips & Frosty the Snotman

In case you didn’t notice last time, I decided to shrink the images of the Creepy Freaks a bit starting with the second starter set. It’s not a terribly significant change — I think they’re still more than large enough to highlight the details of the figurines — but I just figured I’d mention it. 🙂

Tulips needs a hug.

I feel sorry for Tulips. She’s not really creepy or freaky or even scary — she’s just kind of ugly. What’s worse is that her attack, being called “crush”, potentially requires her to develop an attraction to one of her opponents and likely lay a kiss on him/her. It can’t be all that bad for Tulips, since she willingly participates in the game and doesn’t seem to be offended by the fact that she’s expected to use her warty, oversized green lips to make advances that freak the hell out of other characters (she’s even giving a thumbs up!), but I still think this is pretty cruel. The Creepy Freaks world is a terrible place. 🙁

Frosty the Snotman makes me want to retch.

Creepy? Freaky? More like slam-fucking-nasty. I don’t see what’s so frosty about Frosty the Snotman, but really — a dude composed entirely of snot? I’m not sure what’s worse — the idea that somewhere there is a society of snot monsters having snot sex and giving birth to snot babies, or the more realistic but also vomit-inducing notion that a group of unwell children snuck out of their sickbeds and built a life-sized snotman during an intensive session of sneezing and hacking up globules of mucus. At least he’d never have to worry about Professor Hinkle stalking him to get his hat back, ’cause who’d want a top hat lined with chunky green snot? Even evil magicians would pass on that grossness.

See you next time, when we spotlight… I dunno who. It’s a mystery! :mrgreen:

-posted by Wes | 8:30 am Comments (2)
  • More like slam-fucking-nasty.

    that’s a classic line, wes — bravo. can’t wait for the next batch. at the end of the month you should have all of ’em combat in a giant war, leaving only one creepy, freaky, gladiator left..

  • These creepy freaks reviews are awesome.

    Tulips sounds like a ripoff of Jinx from Pok?mon.

    I actually like the idea of kids building a snotman. I’m going to start encouraging kids to do that.

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