We do, however, watch “My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic” and buy freaking pony toys against our better judgment — and that includes knockoff varieties like the Pony Tails Collection figured from Lanard Toys… as seen in today’s review! I could write more about it here, but really the article (all nearly 2K words of it) pretty much says all I wanted to say and far too much more about an adorable toy pony with brushable creamsicle hair. It really is adorable, damn it.

I now sincerely want a Pony Tails Collection unicorn.

Oh, by the way — since I’ve gotten into the show and been reading stuff on the ‘net, I’ve found a lot of older (male?) fans complaining about the nature of the toys. Not about the lack of articulation — that I can understand, and I look forward to purchasing Shine Bright Rarity very soon — but about the fact that the hair on the toys (save the gift set figures and the figurine collection offerings) is rooted rather than molded. What the hell, people. IT’S A MY LITTLE PONY TOY, FOR FREAK’S SAKE! I’m still a little miffed about the Masters of the Universe Classics She-Ra figures not coming with alternate heads with rooted hair, but there’s no way I’d tolerate My Little Pony toys not having it. What good is a My Little Pony whose hair you can’t brush?! And, unless Hasbro made the hair out of really pliable plastic, sculpted hair would prevent the basic ponies from fully utilizing the sole point of articulation they actually have!

I swear, you fanboys would rob me of every single fleeting joy in my life if you could. 😥