SCARY THANKSGIVING CARDS!!!

Though the holiday has come and gone, we nevertheless bring you the five SCARIEST 49¢ Thanksgiving cards we could find. Intelligent turkeys, freaky triple-chinned ladies, and other horrors abound in this late review!  (11/30/06)

So I didn’t get it up as early as I’d hoped, but here you are — before the end of November, as promised — The Five SCARIEST 49¢ Thanksgiving Cards. Characteristically, some of these are a bit of a stretch, but the analyses for them were also (perhaps obviously) the most fun to write. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the piece, minna-san — and stay tuned to Scary-Crayon for upcoming winter holiday articles and the completion of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told!

Also, can anybody think of the actor whose name I cannot remember while writing today’s article? I swear that freaky lady looks like a guy I’ve seen in multiple movies… perhaps playing a creepy butler or something to that effect. He could even be British.

EDIT: My pal Liv rightly points out that the actor in question is none other than Dr. Giggles, aka Larry Drake. I would say that I remember him fondly as Durant from the Darkman films, except I obviously don’t remember him all that fondly because if I did I would have been able to come up with his name or at least the role. Ah well. Thanks again, Liv! 🙂

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN W0T?

Anyone who claims that truth is stranger than fiction has obviously never read The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told! Here’s the spectacular sixth segment… in which things are still not making much sense.  (11/26/06)

…where are you going? If you’ve already read the sixth installment of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told, you know that that is a very good question. Bonus points if you get the musical reference, but double them if you can make out the name of the author of the book in the second filler graphic! You can do it.

I don’t have a whole lot more to say here — I’ve been up all night and I need to get a few hours of sleep, but once I wake up I will get right to work on writing the late Thanksgiving card analysis. I’m shooting to have it up either late tonight or early tomorrow. Don’t drive yourself crazy waiting for it, though! If it’s not up by then, I guarantee that it’ll go up before the end of November. Seriously. I PROMISE. Trust me on this. 😉

P.S. Extra bonus points if you get that last reference!

Okay, so I obviously didn’t get the card piece up before today, and it doesn’t look like I’m going to be able to find the time to write it today either. Assuming I don’t get murdered seeking early morning black Friday deals, though, I’ll have it for you as a post-Thanksgiving treat — if it’s not up tomorrow, then Saturday at the very latest. And there will be photos taken this weekend, so more segments of the novel are on the way!

In the meantime, I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving — whether you celebrate it or not. 🙂

THE CHICKEN FINGER WHAT?!?!?

And now, at long last, Scary-Crayon unveils The Chicken Finger Sundae Sandwich! Inspired by a South Park clip, this treat combines chicken and ice cream toppings with surprisingly tasty results. Read and believe.  (11/20/06)

Wow, has it really been nearly a month since the last update? Dreadfully sorry about that — things have been pretty busy over here. Okay, maybe not so busy, but I’ve been trying to spend more time doing other things (sleeping) and less time staring at the monitor. I’ve also been running all sorts of diagnostics and updates in the past couple of weeks, which has led to a lot of fun with drivers that has me tempted to record a profanity-laden audio rant in order to accurately convey my frustration to the masses. Excuses, excuses.

By the way, speaking of audio rants, I posted this on Wesoteric last week. I’ve noticed that I tend to repeat myself a lot in these audio posts — I hope I don’t use the same word that much in actual conversation! I can see how that could get tiresome. It’s ridiculous.

So, here’s today’s article, which has been quite a while in the making: The Chicken Finger Sundae Sandwich. You may balk and blanch at the photos, but I’m totally not kidding at the end — for some reason chocolate and chicken are amazing together. Chocochicken rules.

More articles to come — I bought scary Thanksgiving cards, so here’s hoping that I get that piece up before Thursday. And thanks for the reminder, Spoodles! I will indeed be posting more segments of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told shortly — I just need to take more pictures to go with the text. I am committed to having the entire thing up before the December 25th holiday, to the point where if push comes to shove I’m just going post every single remaining segment on Christmas Eve. No doubt Santa will adjust his plans and stay in to find out how he features in the story, so you may not receive any presents until the 28th or something. The delay will be disappointing, but at least you won’t get caught up in any insanity resembling the PS3 launch madness. Gamers across America should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

Okey-doke, seeya next time. 🙂