METROPLEX IN MINIATURE!!!

In this awesome guest review, Tresob Yr of the Star Wars Action Figure Theater gives us a firsthand look at the unlicensed Kabaya Transformer Metroplex model. There’s even a bonus mini-comic, so check it out!  (3/18/08)

A Crayon Haiku #75!

Do you realize that three of the last five haikus have been about Grodd? Including this one, make that four out of the last six — ’cause that evil man-eating ape is back again in A Crayon Haiku #75! Fear the super-gorilla.  (3/18/08)

Hey all! Hope you’re keeping warm during these final days of winter. If not, we regrettably lack the ability to provide you with a steaming cup o’ cocoa via the web. We do, however, have a different treat for you tonight: our first article submission of 2008! In what will hopefully be the first of more knockoff Kabaya Transformers reviews from our esteemed guest reviewer, Tresob Yr of the Star Wars Action Figure Theater (SWAFT) gives us a firsthand look at the miniature model of Metroplex. He’s even included an awesome mini-comic — which really isn’t all that mini considering that it’s eight pages and has several panels per page — that manages to be both humorous and informative despite starring those adorable Robot Heroes that I despise so much. So do enjoy these pieces and make Tresob feel welcome, and be sure to check out his site once you’ve finished reading the piece and commenting! 🙂

On the other hand, don’t go just yet, as A Crayon Haiku #75 still demands your attention. Yes, demands, because Gorilla Grodd is back and he doesn’t ask nicely — you either submit to his will or you GET IN HIS BELLEAH. This’ll probably be the last time (or at least the second to last time) that Grodd appears in a haiku, though, as I think I’m finally finished with him. While the obvious additions are the custom made “poseable” cape and necklace combo (not perfect, but I think it turned out well enough) and the painted spear that formerly belonged to Karai (note: painting soft plastic — or whatever that spear is made of — is not advised), he’s also gotten more paint touch ups (the teeth have been completely redone) and a coat or two of brush-on matte sealer on his fur since the last time you saw him.

It’s kind of difficult to make out in the photo, but I also hit up his eyes, teeth, tongue, and lower lip with a brush-on gloss sealer to give them a somewhat more “realistic” wet look. So yes, this Grodd even has drool! Beat that, 4Horsemen BAF Grodd that I will unfortunately never own because I dislike DCUC wave 2 and have no interest in shelling out $50 for it. Yes, I’m still bitter about that — expect me to detail my frustrations more fully in an upcoming article. 😐

And before we go, let me draw your attention to the links block. In addition to checking out SWAFT and our other entertaining links, I specifically recommend that you visit our latest six additions (in no particular order): Cool Toy Review (which has toy news as well as fabulous photo archives — some of which even highlight the articulation — so you can get a good look at what you’re buying), Superarticulated (an excellent source of new toy information and reviews, not to mention featured custom figures), Heroine Addict (awesome reviews and perusals of heroine-related media and products; also reminds me of a very funny discussion that resulted from a typo I once made), Online Action Figure Entertainment (OAFE for short; the site title’s kinda self-explanatory 😉 ), xkcd (a very funny and random webcomic), and Bogleech (wacky spookiness that’s very much in keeping with Scary-Crayon’s aesthetic inclinations).

You might also have noticed that clicking these links and the ones on the sidebar — as well as the ones in Tresob’s submission — no longer causes outside pages to open in new windows. Not too long ago I was reading some web designers’ blogs and I came across a rather angry screed against pages that open in new windows, the rationale being that if users wanted them to open in new windows and/or tabs they’d use the right click and select the appropriate feature. Now, I’ve never been especially bothered by pages that open things elsewhere (popup advertisements notwithstanding), but I couldn’t argue with the logic — so from now on I’ll be discontinuing the target attribute when it comes to links. I don’t feel strongly enough about the issue to go back and remove the targets from the four years’ worth of articles and entries in which I’ve already employed them, but yeah. Hopefully no one will be too inconvenienced either way.

I think that’s all for now, crayon fans. Special thanks to Tresob for the article submission! And remember, if you’d like to follow his awesome example, you know where to look. Until next time, then — which will ideally be sooner than later!

A Crayon Haiku #74!

We’re convinced that “Smallville” is the worst live-action show based on a comic book superhero to date — that JLA pilot can’t be worse — yet we’ve still been watching it lately. Why, you ask? The answer is simple.  (3/3/08)

I’m pretty sure I say this every time we get a good run of haikus going, but — despite the fact that they’re not particularly substantive featurettes — I really do like seeing A Crayon Haiku thriving on the site again. After all, the Hot Flashes didn’t start until Scary-Crayon was six months old and A Random Lunch features are few and far between, but A Crayon Haiku was battle-tested and ready to lead entertain on Day One.

Anyway, in A Crayon Haiku #74, I reveal what I’ve been spending too much time doing this past month: watching “Smallville”. Which isn’t to say that it’s consumed a lot of my time — far less than, say, the “Boy Meets World” kick I was on around the time I wrote about the greatness of Trini — but it is to say that any amount of time spent watching “Smallville” is too much because the show is flipping terrible. Seriously. For those of you who don’t watch, one of the plot developments involved Lex Luthor secretly drugging Lana Lang with hormones so she’d think she was pregnant with his baby and marry him. After marrying Lex and uncovering the truth, Lana uses an unfinished clone Lex made of her — for no apparent reason — to fake her own death and escape to Shanghai (where she ends up on Nanjing Road, no less). Yes.

Anyway, I started with a handful of select episodes because my ongoing DC Comics character obsession made me curious about seeing how the Martian Manhunter and other members of the Justice League were depicted on the show, but it’s really Allison Mack as Chloe Sullivan that keeps me watching. She’s just so cute! She may even be edging in on Willow’s territory in my all-time favorite gorgeous TV sidekick rankings. I don’t understand why Clark’s so off on Lana — she’s got nothing on Chloe. Or Lois, for that matter. But then I don’t understand a lot of things about “Smallville” — like why it has to be so unbelievably terrible — so eh.

I now need a Chloe action figure.