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A Crayon Haiku #86, 87, and 88!
It’s a haiku triple-threat with A Crayon Haiku #86, 87, and 88 — all rolled into one compact package! If you’re looking to read about toy-related injuries and TV shows in 5-7-5 syllable format, this is the featurette for you. (11/27/08)
In keeping with our goal of reaching the 100th Crayon Haiku before the end of 2008, here are three new ones: A Crayon Haiku #86, 87, and 88! At least for the time being, I’ll post them in per update blocks — which is to say that if I post three haiku during a given update (like this one), I’ll stick them all on the same page. If nothing else, it should keep me from running other more substantial content off of the front page given the possibility of me posting massive amounts of haiku on December 31. 🙂
Anyway, if you recall, A Crayon Haiku #84 highlighted a problem with my most recent Marvel Legends purchase — Wolverine had two right forearms! I was able to successfully exchange it for another Wolverine with all of his parts, but when I got the figure home I noticed something else problematic about it. Apparently mine wasn’t unique in this respect, as you can see the problem in the MarvelLegends.net gallery, at MarvelousNews.com, and perhaps even on the original mold: there’s a small but not insignificant gap between Wolverine’s torso and his belt. And it bugged the living crap out of me.
So I tried to fix it. I noticed that the figure was pretty level in the back, so I tried to find ways of forcing the figure slightly forward. First I put some superglue back there — but while this would’ve been ideal if I’d been able to crack the crotch apart and let the glue dry without the body nearby, all I ultimately succeeded in doing is making the joint a bit tighter. Then I had the brilliant idea of sticking something in there, so I jammed the plastic tray from another figure into the gap and tried to trim around it to leave the piece inside. It seemed like this would work out well! Unfortunately, while I was trimming the excess plastic with my hobby knife, my hand slipped. And there was blood.
Anyway, here’s how it looks from the back. The glue still wasn’t completely dry, so it’s in there pretty well. I think if I had it to do over again I’d probably try to make sure the plastic got glued to the torso piece rather than the crotch — with this method, there’s still a slight gap (though less obvious than the original one) when Wolverine turns to the side — but ah well. I’ve also given the yellow parts a slight wash and am in the process of repainting the blue areas, and eventually I plan to fit Wolvie with steel claws as seen in Kyle Robinson’s tutorial. I had originally decided against this given the possibility of Wolverine maiming me, but since blood has already been spilled I’m less averse to spilling more. 😛
The remaining two haiku are about “Smallville” and “Heroes”, respectively. I’ve called “Smallville” among the worst TV shows on television in the past, but whereas I’ve mainly put up with the last two seasons for Allison Mack — whose character, Chloe Sullivan, helped to satisfy my lingering Willow cravings — I now actually enjoy watching it. I can’t in good conscience call it good, as some pretty stupid and/or solely story-serving developments still occur, but I can now state that it is decidedly not bad. And absence must make the heart grow fonder, because Kristin Kreuk did nothing for me before and I actually found her attractive in the most recent episode. I think I might even be able to tolerate her as Chun-Li in the upcoming Street Fighter film. Might.
“Heroes,” on the other hand, has become so goddamned awful I can’t even begin to discuss it. So I won’t. Suffice it to say that I find it disgusting that “Heroes” will likely stick around for another year while “Pushing Daisies” is getting the axe — and while excellent shows like “Journeyman” get killed after one season. For shame, television executives — for shame.
Okey-doke, all for now. And while the new multiple-haiku groupings means that there won’t be any bonus haiku on individual pages (which is just as well; note that if we’d counted all of the bonus haiku and “special” editions — like the Resident Evil 2 Edition — we’d have reached our numerical goal by now), I might occasionally include some in SC blog updates. Like this one! Here goes:
Happy Thanksgiving,
readers of Scary-Crayon!
We’re thankful for you. 🙂
Until next time.
When it comes to poseability, Revoltech figures are tops — and guest writer Sixshot shows us that the Yamaguchi Series #50 Gurren Lagann is no exception. But whereas Trix are for kids, this fig is for collectors only. (11/19/08)
OMFG THE HORROR!!! Spiders don’t bother us, but the heating service technician freaked out when he found the arachnid calling card depicted in A Crayon Haiku #85. It must be a recluse, ’cause I’ve never seen it. (11/19/08)
Actually, that exclamation point above should probably be replaced by a period or ellipses, as A Crayon Haiku #84 takes its cue from my latest action figure disappointment. C’mon, Hasbro — it’s called quality control. (11/19/08)
Yes! I’ve still got much more news to report, but it’s late and I’ve got a headache so I’ll knock this one off relatively quickly. First, the filler content: A Crayon Haiku #84 and A Crayon Haiku #85! Why two in one update, you ask? Well, among other things, I’m hoping to finally reach A Crayon Haiku #100 before 2008 is out — so that means you may see as many as two or three haiku per update if push comes to shove. Hell, if we get to December 31 and I’m still only up to A Crayon Haiku #89, I’ll write and post the remaining 11 that very day. Don’t hold me to that, but don’t be surprised if it comes to pass, either.
I really, really hate getting defective action figures — every time something like this happens, the child inside me dies a little more. And I’m betting Target will be sold out of Wolverines by the time I get back there to return this one, which means I’ll once again be without a superarticulated Wolverine. Oh, sad is the world.
But speaking of superarticulated figures, we’ve also got more substantial content for you: a review of the RevolTech Gurren Lagann by guest writer Sixshot! I’ve known this guy for ages — at least since the late 90s, if I recall correctly — so it’s really cool to have as a Scary-Crayon contributor. Granted, I personally think that Revoltech (Sixxy is pretty adamant about capitalizing that “T”; me, not so much 😉 ) figures are overrated — they’re tiny (between 4.5″ and 4.75″ tall), expensive ($20 to $25 a pop), and, while highly articulated, not overwhelmingly so — but then the only two Revoltech figures I own are Optimus Prime and Megatron (as seen here). Considering that they’re dwarfed by and only slightly more articulated than the Classics deluxes and they lack the ability to transform, you can understand my position.
Anyway, that’s all for now! Many thanks to Sixshot for contributing — make sure y’all voice your appreciation as well in the comments. And do be careful when buying action figures, and try not to get bitten by giant spiders. Unless you think you’ve got experimental hybrid spiders lurking in your basement, in which case you get yourself bitten as soon as possible. Just remember: with great power comes great responsibility.
See you next time. 
Yes, Halloween has technically passed, but it’s always Halloween at Scary-Crayon! And to prove it, we’re posting the Halloween 2008 Snacks review in November. While you talk turkey, we hobnob with hellspawn. (11/11/08)
The Tekken series wasn’t saturated with zany characters, but it definitely had its share of odd combatants. As seen in A Crayon Haiku #83, I’m now attempting to immortalize one of them with a custom figure. (11/11/08)
Hey there, folks — it’s been forever! I’ll dispense with the excuses, but hopefully we’ll have more content for you before another month goes by. And if you find the wait in between updates to be too unbearable, here’s a reminder to stop by Random Action Hour. Ragey and Galvatron’s prolific updates put some news outlets to shame.
Okay, on to today’s update. First we’ve got A Crayon Haiku #83, which features my Alex custom figure at a very early stage. I’ve come quite a ways with the painting since I took this picture, but — since I’m very slow — there’s still much work to be done. Whenever I take more pictures and/or actually finish the thing (remember, Mallah’s been in WIP status for the last eight months), expect Alex to appear in another haiku or featurette somewhere on the site.
The main draw for this update, however, is our belated Halloween 2008 Snacks review. There’s not a ton of items reviewed in here, really — just reviews of two gummi snacks, Halloween-themed Oreo cookies, and a bonus non-food review of a Halloween Domo-kun plushie — but still. If nothing else, the Bacardi cameo makes the article worth a look. 🙂
Aaand that’s it for this update, then! Until next time…
