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Protégé de la Rose Noire, Part 1!
Yes, Virginia, that guy is dressed up as Robin — and that’s hardly the craziest thing that Protégé de la Rose Noire has to offer. Insanity and violence abound in the first of this two-part Scary-Crayon film review! (10/7/05)
Tales of Seduction by U-Jin, Part 3!
In the final installment of our Tales of Seduction by U-Jin review, we see a love quadrangle involving two workers, their boss, and his daughter — and the return of Toyama no Benbei! I wouldn’t read it at work, though. (9/19/05)
I’d rather watch EL OJO ROJO!!!
Wes Craven’s Red Eye debuted last weekend to pretty good reviews from a number of credible sources, but I’m not going to see it because the teaser trailer fucking lied to me. The movie I wanted to see? El Ojo Rojo. (8/27/05)
Tales of Seduction by U-Jin, Part 2!
In part two of our Tales of Seduction by U-Jin review, we meet Toyama no Benbei, the smoothest hired rapist ever! WARNING: This piece may not be work-safe! There’s no graphic nudity, but there are questionable ethics! (8/2/05)
Tales of Seduction by U-Jin, Part 1!
Wanna see teenage girls fucked by a creepy songwriter? You’re in luck! Enter U-Jin’s Tales of Seduction, the first of a three-part SC review! WARNING: This article may not be entirely work-safe! Read at your own risk. (7/11/05)
The Muppets are making a comeback — and with Disney running the show, it won’t be long until Kermit and friends are back on the top! Unless they keep turning out shit like The Muppets’ Wonderful Wizard of Oz, that is. (5/23/05)
When Athena’s boyfriend died, she resigned herself to a melancholy life of mourning — and then, one stormy night, an angel crash landed on her balcony! Learn to love again in the Scary-Crayon review of Lavender. (5/16/05)
Stephen King’s SLEEPWALKERS!!!
In this latest film review, Scary-Crayon takes a look at Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers, a movie about incestuous shapeshifting cat people that feast on the souls of virgin girls. The chaste lasses never get a break. 🙁 (4/8/05)
At long last, Scary-Crayon’s Christmas with Gumby review comes to a close with this review of “Gumbasia”. Join Gumby and Pokey as they search for toys and explore their sexuality. Gumby’s parents are here too! (1/8/05)
Scary-Crayon’s Christmas with Gumby review continues as Gumby and Pokey venture into Pigeon in a Plum Tree and ruin yet another potentially good book through their meddlesome ways. It’s kinda depressing. (12/25/04)
In the second segment of Scary-Crayon’s Christmas with Gumby review, Gumby’s MIA and Santa is sick! Who ever could fill Santa’s boots and get those toys to the good little children of the world? Read on to find out! (12/20/04)
With shapeshifting powers and the ability to enter books, Gumby was pretty bizarre — but Scary-Crayon’s Christmas with Gumby review unearths even stranger truths about the guy. Where’s Freud when we need him? (12/17/04)
Scary-Crayon is pleased to present this review of one of the finest examples of Japanese cinema we’ve ever had the pleasure of watching: Naked Blood. Really. We’re not being sarcastic here. The movie f’n rules. (8/23/04)
THE CAMPFIRE STORIES REVIEW!!!
Friday the 13th is synonymous with horror, so it’s only appropriate that Scary-Crayon review a scary movie to mark the occasion. In Campfire Stories, an insane forest ranger spins three terrifying yarns. That suck. (8/13/04)
Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers ruled the 90s, resulting in many arguments about which team was better and what would happen if they met. But they did meet. Now, Scary-Crayon reviews that historic crossover! (7/6/04)
The fun-loving balls with the freakish faces return as Scary-Crayon reviews Madballs: Escape From Orb! Watch as the Madballs cast off the bonds of slavery and take to the stars in search of musical freedom. (5/31/04)
Street Fighter Cartoon Review!!!
Scary-Crayon revisits the days when Street Fighter reigned supreme in this review of “The Flame and the Rose”. There’s not a whole lotta wacky within, but at least you’ll get to see SPECIAL MOVES. (5/7/04)
Clap your hands and rejoice as Scary-Crayon dives under the sea to review The Little Mermaid!!! Not the classic Disney version we all know and love, though. Some other version. It’s okay to be afraid. (4/26/04)
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