What do you get when you dust off Doctor Who's most fashion-conscious companion and give her a program of her own? You get "The Sarah Jane Adventures", premiering tonight (that is, April 11, 2008) at 7:30 PM on the Sci Fi Channel! Sarah Jane Smith was a plucky young reporter when she was introduced to the Doctor. Now, some thirty-odd years later, this not-so-young but still plucky (and absolutely dead sexy -- the boots, the boots!) reporter is ready to introduce herself to a whole new generation of television viewers. Armed with nothing but her handy sonic lipstick, an attic to die for, a super-computer who just happens to share her last 
name, and a tin dog in the wall, Sarah Jane single-handedly works to protect the Earth from alien threats... until she meets new neighbor Maria and becomes a mother all in one episode.
But while "The Sarah Jane Adventures" is a pretty kick-ass and enjoyable program, it is a children's show -- complete with scenery-chewing villains that snarl and cackle at length and a main cast mostly comprised of, well, children. As such, the older viewers who presumably make up the greater portion of the target audience in the United States (the show's appeal largely stems from its connection to "Doctor Who", which, we assume, is primarily watched by the series's preexisting adult fan base), may find it to be a bit childish at times. So to make these moments somewhat more bearable, we've devised a drinking game for you to play as you watch! All you have to do is provide the alcohol of your choice, tune in to watch "The Sarah Jane Adventures", and follow the instructions below. Fair warning: many of the drinking cues take place at least once per half-hour episode, so make sure your stock of hootch is good (but not too good). And because nothing having to do with drinking would be complete without a nanny-state disclaimer, we also advise drinking responsibly and knowing your limits. When you come across those scenes that require you to drink multiple sips and then a shot in rapid succession, nobody's going to fault you for skipping a sip or two. ;)
Take one sip if...
- Sarah Jane refers to her life as being "dangerous"
- Sarah Jane says anything about being a mother
- Luke expresses confusion about people's reactions to him
- Clyde or Maria attempts to teach Luke a slang term or explain some facet of social interaction
Clyde appears boastful or cocky- Clyde's cockiness is immediately followed by embarrassment, fear, etc. on his part
- Maria's crush on Sarah Jane becomes manifestly apparent
- Alan and Maria begin to have a father-daughter moment
- Alan and Maria complete their father-daughter moment on good terms
- Chrissie mangles Sarah Jane's name (intentionally or otherwise)
- Chrissie mentions Ivan
- An alien breaks out into wicked laughter or needlessly hisses or snarls to seem more evil
- A Slitheen farts
Take two sips if...
- Sarah Jane and Maria end up alone in Sarah Jane's attic
- Sarah Jane makes a sexy/sassy/gloating comment or gesture
- Sarah Jane wears any pair of lovely knee-high boots!
- Villains are about to kill Sarah Jane
- Luke does something obviously stupid (when in doubt, drink)
- Maria and/or Alan roll their eyes or otherwise appear annoyed/frustrated with Chrissie
- Any character waxes poetic about the beauty/vastness of space, the universe, aliens, etc.
- Any character presents a "rational" explanation for what we know to be alien activity
Take one shot if...
Sarah Jane uses the sonic lipstick- Sarah Jane summons Mr. Smith
- Chrissie shows up (trust us, you'll need it)
- A villain comes to Sarah Jane's home
- The villains thwart an escape attempt by our heroes
- An "evil" alien becomes a sympathetic character
- A "good" character turns out to be an evil alien
Finish your drink (and pour
yourself another!) if...
- Sarah Jane mentions the Doctor
- Sarah Jane mentions UNIT
- K-9 makes an appearance!
For those of you who lack photographic memories
and don't watch television with a computer nearby,
there's also the printer-friendly text version!
And if you like the cool K-9 bullets,we made
them from Aiden's mood icons on tetrap.com,
so check those out as well. :)
So those are the rules -- we hope they help to make watching "The Sarah Jane Adventures" even more enjoyable for you! And again, because Scary-Crayon and Strange Cousin Susan (and, by extension, Wes and Mickey) are not responsible for any embarrassment and/or injury that stems from participating in this activity, 
we remind you to drink responsibly and know your limits. Considering that Wes gave the game a test run by playing for three straight episodes last night, we also do not recommend playing this game with high-proof liquor. Wes used a mixed drink with Mountain Dew, lemon juice, tequila, triple sec, pineapple rum for the sipping while taking shots of sake and soju and already had a pleasant buzz going fifteen minutes into the first episode he watched. He was nowhere near wasted by the end of the 70-minute stretch, but he was tipsy enough to notice that Maria's bra size likely exceeds Sarah Jane's and repeatedly ponder why Chrissie would wear outfits that seem practically designed to make women look fat. You have been warned.
That said, even if you're not up for drinking -- or you're too young to drink; Scary-Crayon and Strange Cousin Susan don't encourage underage drinking either -- we still recommend checking the show out. Despite the hammy villain performances, "The Sarah Jane Adventures" is a fun science fiction romp that frequently manages to outshine the revived series (that is, "Doctor Who", which will be airing after Sarah Jane starting next week) from whence it spun. If you can ignore the unsettling fact that Sarah Jane is a 59-year-old woman who spends most of her time hanging out with impressionable young kids in her attic, you'll find a lot to love. ;)
Watch "The Sarah Jane Adventures",
now airing Fridays at 8:00 PM
on the Sci Fi Channel!
