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''Blogs are not frogs.''
April 16, 2006
The 4+1 SCARIEST 39¢ Easter Cards!

Apologies for the lack of updates last week — despite licking battery acid, I am alive and well. Well, alive, anyway. I’ve been working on some rather time-consuming projects as of late, but Scary-Crayon is still a go! As evidenced by today’s updates. In addition to A Crayon Haiku #50, we’ve got another foray into horrific holiday greetings with The 4+1 SCARIEST 39¢ Easter Cards. Pickings seemed slim at first, but once I got into it I found that these cards far surpass the subjects of our prior Halloween and Christmas outings in the fear factor department. But Easter and its Jewish coincident are by far the most fucked up holidays we’ve examined thus far, so I guess that’s to be expected.

In other news, here are a few videos that’ll be accompanying our next video game review. Natch, they’ll be included along with the article (along with other vids and even downloads of the full games themselves, which are incidentally about as big as these videos), but blog readers get the special sneak preview. Enjoy…

E. Honda vs. M. Bison (859 KB)
Zangief vs. Chun-Li (1.14 MB)
Ryu vs. Sagat (762 KB)

All for now, minna-san. Happy Easter! Take care of yourselves until next time. And remember: discipline, justice, commitment! 🙂

-posted by Wes | 5:45 am | Comments (7)
7 Comments »
  • agustinaldo says:
    April 16, 2006 at 4:57 pm

    Man Wes, you are one messed-up guy!

    I mean, you find Christmas and Easter, happy and fuzzy celebrations of love, to be scary and terryfing. You are shit-scared of innocent pacifists like Santa and Jesus. And for Christ’s sake, you are afraid of a RABBIT, the wussiest mammal in the animal kingdom.

    What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you see everything with a morbid, sick eye?

    Jesus CAME BACK TO LIFE. He is not a walking corpse, because his body is alive, NOT DEAD. Or are you insinuating Gandalf the White, E.T. and Aslan are walking corpses too?

    And the Phraoh was EVIL, and his followers were evil too. Are you saying you feel sorry for an EVIL man? Yes, some innocents were killed in the process, but that stupid Pharaoh wouldn’t get the point otherwise.

    And anyway, that was Old Testament God. New Testament God is a harmles pacifist.

    But anyway, what religion do YOU profese? Jewism, Buddhism, or some branch of Catholicism?

    By the way, why buy chocolate eggs when people can give them to you for free?

    Reply
  • Greg says:
    April 16, 2006 at 5:27 pm

    Ug, Agustinaldo. Ug.

    Reply
  • Tetsu Deinonychus says:
    April 17, 2006 at 12:03 am

    Nothing against Judaism but “a few” innocent people is too many.

    Anyway, Wes funny article even if the second card was kind of a strech.

    Anyway, my Easter is more of a “Family Fun Day” than a religious holiday since I’m Buddhist. So, I’m at least one guy that wasn’t crowding the churches today. But, do try to look on the bright side of the holiday. You can buy candy anytime, but the Cadbury egg is completely seasonal.

    Reply
  • Molly says:
    April 19, 2006 at 9:50 pm

    Hmm didn’t really buy your analysis of the last card, but the first three were very funny. As for the one with the rabbit and the clown, I was sure you were going to say something about how it looked like the clown was about to meet his demise as the rabbit dropped a weighted basket on his porcelain skull. 🙂 That’s what I got from the picture, anyway! I love how you come up with this stuff. Very creative.

    Reply
  • Wes says:
    April 20, 2006 at 4:28 pm

    Molly: Oh, no — clowns are generally regarded as demonic entities, so that would make the anthropomorphic rabbit a hero!

    Tetsu: I find Cadbury eggs to be sickeningly sweet, so I’m quite glad that they’re not a year-round thing. 🙂

    Reply
  • agustinaldo says:
    April 21, 2006 at 5:02 am

    Clowns are not demons. Pigs and overweight black midgets are demons.

    Also, since you like “Buffy” so much: are you like Anya, with an irrational fear of rabbits?

    Reply
  • Andi says:
    May 3, 2006 at 10:12 am

    Um, I miss-read it too.

    I actually thought it said “For a Dead Child” as well.

    Funny cards. 🙂

    Reply
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