THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA CLAUS.

Yeah, Christmas has come and gone, but it’s never too late to learn the TRUTH. Here, Scary-Crayon shares the true origins of Santa Claus… suffice it to say that he wasn’t always the jolly old elf we know and love.  (12/31/04)

A Crayon Haiku #19!

It’s been a while since we had one of these, eh? After a two month hiatus, the Crayon Haiku featurette returns with its 19th edition! WARNING: This haiku is pretty gross. It’s gross squared! It’s 144. It’s work safe, though.  (12/26/04)

A D.P.H. HOLIDAY HOT FLASH!

Happy holidays, one and all! In this special holiday edition of Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash, we wish you just that (those?) — happy holidays. Nothing special, really. Hope you’re feeling better than Wes is.  🙁  (12/25/04)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #14!

Apparently last time’s mischief wasn’t sneaky enough, as Wes’s mom discovered his “improvements” to her Nativity scene. What happened, you ask? Find out in the very festive Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #14!  (12/25/04)

Okay, that does it for today’s holiday updates, but we’ve still got Part 4 of our Christmas with Gumby review on deck, not to mention another illustrated holiday story in the vein of our Pan article from a ways back. Take it from me — everything you think you know about Santa’s origins is a lie. Stay tuned for the true story.

Also, one month from today will be Scary-Crayon‘s one year anniversary and first birthday! I’ll mention it again before then, but feel free to start e-mailing us well-wishes for a potential fan testimonial piece. Photos of fans (i.e., you!) holding crayons and the like would be nice, too. And as always, donations are welcome.  😉

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 3!

Scary-Crayon’s Christmas with Gumby review continues as Gumby and Pokey venture into Pigeon in a Plum Tree and ruin yet another potentially good book through their meddlesome ways. It’s kinda depressing.  (12/25/04)

MELLY KURISUMASU, minna-san! As you can see, I’m running late with these holiday pieces — so, like Christmas decorations that people don’t take down until the first third week of January, Scary-Crayon will keep the holiday theme running a mite longer. If you want to know just why I’ve been unable to get these up on time (excuses, excuses), stay tuned for the next Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash. In the meantime, here’s the conclusion to the mischief seen in HF #13, but stay tuned! I should have more updates posted before the holiday comes to an end.  🙂

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #13!

Given the holiday season’s focus on Christmas — which supposedly celebrates the birth of Christ — Nativity scenes are standard fare among holiday decorations. Here, Wes adds his special touch to his Mom’s display.  (12/21/04)

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 2!

In the second segment of Scary-Crayon’s Christmas with Gumby review, Gumby’s MIA and Santa is sick! Who ever could fill Santa’s boots and get those toys to the good little children of the world? Read on to find out!  (12/20/04)

CHRISTMAS WITH GUMBY, Part 1!

With shapeshifting powers and the ability to enter books, Gumby was pretty bizarre — but Scary-Crayon’s Christmas with Gumby review unearths even stranger truths about the guy. Where’s Freud when we need him?  (12/17/04)

Wow, it’s been 11 days since the last update! Apologies for the lull. But for today, we’ve got the first of several planned holiday articles — our review of Gumby’s “Christmas Carol”! It’s the first of four shorts on the Christmas with Gumby DVD, and yes, we do plan to review them all before next week is up. I’ve also got a few original pieces planned, but I wouldn’t bet that they’ll be finished by Christmas… which just means that they’ll be late. Hell, this is Scary-Crayon! We’ve been known to post Christmas articles in February.

And once again, HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM SCARY-CRAYON!!! Festive text ROCKS.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #12!

Few things are worse than crazy housewives with nothing better to do than sit around reading tacky romance novels that may or may not star vampires. What could be worse than that, you wonder? Just ask Wes.  (12/6/04)

How to write A 50,000 word novel…

…in a month! In this piece, Wes imparts some of the tips he picked up during National Novel Writing Month so that you too can pen a 50K+ word novel in thirty days or less! Of course, nobody said it would be good…  (12/6/04)

NEW ARTICLE!!! Yeah, it’s been a while, but Scary-Crayon finally has a new written piece up. In fact, it’s entirely written, as it has no images! It’s actually a little insightful, too. Still, hopefully this is the start of a return to normalcy at SC… if it even makes sense to use the word “normal” around here. That doesn’t mean the Hot Flashes will be leaving, though — in fact, we’ve got another of those for you today as well!

Also, the Links block below has been updated with two new links — Platypus Comix and (finally) tOkKa’s terrible2z.com! Also, the link to Poprocks & Coke has been switched to Progressive Boink, since Mike Fireball recently joined the team there. Hope you’re enjoying your new home, mate!

So that does it for this update — see y’all next time. And HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM SCARY-CRAYON!!!  😀

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #11!

Featuring the Chatterer of Hellraiser fame, the eleventh edition of Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash is entitled “A Masochist’s Wet Dream, No. 1”. Scary-Crayon bets you can’t think about this short without cringing.  (12/1/04)