THE UNLOVED LITTLE RABBIT.

There are a lot of great, instructive children’s stories — but The Little Rabbit Who Wanted Red Wings is not one of them. In this summary review, Wes points out just what’s wrong with this tale… and offers a new ending.  (1/31/10)

Dusty Plastic HELLside #12!

For the honor of Grayskull, she is She-Ra! Well, she’s still Adora in this comic, but that’s beside the point. In Dusty Plastic HELLside #12, the Princess of Power finds herself faced with the Strongest Woman in the World.  (1/31/10)

‘Allo ‘allo, Crayon readers! We’re back again with new content — and it hasn’t even been a month since the last update. How awesome is that?!

First, a quickie — Dusty Plastic HELLside #12, which features Adora from “She-Ra: Princess of Power” facing off against Chun-Li of the Street Fighter series. More on Adora in a bit.

The more substantial offering in today’s update is a summary review of The Little Rabbit Who Wanted Red Wings — a book I’ve despised as long as I can remember. Admittedly, I don’t really remember it before high school (I rediscovered it when perusing the selections on the bookshelf in my room), but still. This is also a piece that is somewhat personal, as I not only describe an incident from my own life but even include a relevant photo of myself. I’m not doing any of this for sympathy, mind you — so please try not to offer your condolences or pity, though I welcome other responses and insights regarding today’s features — but I did want to share my own similar yet decidedly less encouraging experience in order to better convey just how wrong the events of this story are. I think we can all agree that The Little Rabbit Who Wanted Red Wings has a terrible message and probably shouldn’t be shared with impressionable young minds in any context.

And back to Adora! The comic here is an extra photo from the shoot I did for my review of the figure at Articulated Discussion, so please check that out and leave a comment over there if you like. The review’s not going over so well with some AD readers, as it’s quite negative and contains a good amount of cursing (there are only 15 swear words in the 2000-word article, but even so), but I think readers familiar with some of my work over here might find it to be entertaining. If nothing else, it’s given me material for a running gag involving Hordak… and a cool idea for a custom if I ever end up with a bunch of fodder from female figures. Oh, I also did last week’s Bootleg Tuesday entry, so go there to marvel at the horror of bootleg toys based on a great late-90s cartoon show.

That’ll do it for this update, then! Until next time —

SAY IT AIN’T SO, SARAH JANE!!!

Her younger days were full of funky fashion fun, but Sarah Jane’s found a common look in her old age. In the Sarah Jane Smith Fashionista Fever! finale, Mickey Glitter gives us one last tour of Miss Smith’s wardrobe.  (1/25/10)

FEEL THE PAIN OF BODY BLOWS!

Once again, Scary-Crayon returns to the forgotten days of DOS gaming for a look at the “classic” fighting game Body Blows. Alas, “classic” is in quotation marks because this game — despite its strengths — is pretty bad.  (1/25/10)

BUMBLELION IS IN THE MONEY!!!

In this summary review of the “Wuzzles” episode “In the Money”, we see how wealth can transform a likeable guy into a total jerk. We also see how disturbingly messed up the land of Wuz and its inhabitants are.  (1/25/10)

Dusty Plastic HELLside #11!

Look out! Those menacing Triceratons are back in Dusty Plastic HELLside #11, but this time their target isn’t the Federation or the Ninja Turtles. No, today they’ve set their sights on someone far more stylish.  (1/25/10)

YES! It’s hard to believe, but Scary-Crayon turns six years old today. I’d like to wax poetic about what that means to me, but I just don’t have the words — suffice it to say that as long as I have stuff to post (and can afford the hosting fees), SC will continue to stick around ye olde Internetz. Hopefully some of y’all out there regard that as a good thing!

Okay, as is traditional for the anniversary, we’ve got multiple features for you to celebrate with. First up, a quickie: Dusty Plastic HELLside #11. I told you the Triceratops Ranger would be appearing again… I just didn’t think it’d take him so long. Ah well, he’s here now and that’s what matters!

Next up, a long-overdue summary review of an episode of “Wuzzles”! It’s been a long time since I’ve done an article like this, so let me know what you think. I will say, however, that I kinda miss articles writing like this — sure, they’re mostly recapping, but there’s plenty of room for snark and jokes and odd analytical insights that I don’t often get to indulge in, say, the toy reviews that have dominated SC as of late.

And then we pop over to the games category for a review of the DOS version of Body Blows! Apparently I haven’t done a game review since 2007 (wow), so I really enjoyed writing this one as well. Hopefully we’ll see more of them in the future! I did pick up Power Rangers: Super Legends with intent to review it, so maybe that’ll show up on the site before too much longer. And oh, I’m trying something new here with videos. I’ve noticed that when visiting other sites I sometimes have issues playing videos with embedded players, so I’ve just gone the simpler route of uploading the videos to YouTube and including links at the end of the article. Just about everybody can watch stuff on YouTube, right? And if you’ve got the proper codecs, you can download the larger, higher-quality encodes to watch from your hard drive. Let me know what you think about those, too — they probably don’t need to be quite so large in terms of size, so I could see reducing their visual quality in the future.

Finally, our amazing, fashion-conscious contributor Mickey Glitter is here to help us celebrate with the final installment of Sarah Jane Smith Fashionista Fever! Lots of images and captioned hilarity in this one, so enjoy! I’m glad that we had the ability to share this series with all of you and look forward to hosting future articles by the Glitterific One, whether they’re rooted in the Whoniverse or not. In any case, expect more Doctor Who- and Sarah Jane-related content in 2010 and beyond!

And that’ll do it for today’s celebratory features — but don’t think that there won’t be more content in the near future! In keeping with our return to neglected categories, I’ve got a new Foodstuffs piece on the horizon, not to mention several ideas for upcoming Spectare reviews. I’d also like to do more Crayon Haiku and Dusty Plastic HELLside installments, though I’m kicking around the idea of posting them in the blog (I’d still have links to them with thumbnails in the content structure) rather than having separate single pages them that then link to blog entries. If you’ve got any strong feelings about that change one way or the other, please let me know!

And yeah, we’ll also be adding more Playthings content, but I’ll be trying to increase my focus on items that you wouldn’t generally see spotlighted on sites in our general circle. Among other things, a couple of Juku Couture clothing sets and some really kickass dollar store toys are queued up for review. So yes, stay tuned!

Before I end this entry, I’d like to take a moment to thank all of you who’ve visited Scary-Crayon over the years. Granted, I get a lot of enjoyment out of maintaining and writing for the site, but without you guys I’d have no reason to share it and it wouldn’t feel nearly as rewarding. And if you’ve got a moment, please leave a comment below — whether you’ve got something to add about today’s features or anything else. In particular, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the kinds of things you wish I’d write more about (or less about) and any other suggestions you might have. Knowing which articles were your favorites among more recent pieces might also be helpful. And if there’s something you think we do especially well here, please point it out so that we can keep doing it!

Until next time (and forevermore!), I sincerely wish y’all all the best.

Alice Cullen is one hot dead girl.

We’re not big on the Twilight series here at Scary-Crayon, but we always appreciate a sexy goth girl in miniature! And while the media that spawned her sucks, the New Moon Alice Cullen is an attractive figure indeed.  (1/21/10)

Yep! Following our Juku Couture doll review — which was selected as Articulated Discussion’s Review of the Week, hurray! — we’re now reviewing a Twilight figure. Alice Cullen, to be specific. I haven’t seen New Moon — the first movie was dull enough for me to pass on that — but the figure (and Ashley Greene) is quite fetching! And at $3.74, the price was pretty fantastic, too. I even picked up an Edward for the same price (I plan to review that figure too at some point), but I kinda wish I hadn’t since now I feel like I need to get Bella. Twilight-mocking toy comics just wouldn’t be complete — or nearly as funny — without her.

Actually, maybe they would! I have an idea…

Anyway! Speaking of Articulated Discussion up there, DrNightmare recently authored an interview-type piece featuring opinions from a bunch of different toy reviewers. It’d be worth a read even if I weren’t one of the reviewers interviewed, but I am — so that makes it even more imperative that you check it out! All sorts of topics are touched on, the OAFE guys strive to exhibit douchebaggery in the form of nepotism and boastful self-promotion, I do my damnedest to blast a certain video reviewer without mentioning him by name… in short, a good time is had by all. 😛

I was going to write more about the various points in the article and what I agree/disagree with, but I’ll leave that alone for now. I did find it interesting that so many reviewers don’t want to read others’ reviews of the same figure, though. I’ve known authors who are the same way, but it’s never really made sense to me. Yeah, it’s possible that you’ll be influenced by other people’s work, and that could make your work less “unique” (at least as far as you know; Stephanie Meyer mentioned something about avoiding other authors’ work but it sounds like the Twilight saga still managed to be derivative as fuck). But you might also be influenced for the better, such that the quality of your writing, presentation, whatever — even if it borrows from outside elements — will ultimately improve.

And if nothing else, reading other people’s writing might make you aware of things you need to emphasize. For instance, I read Artemis’s review of Alice at OAFE in which he mentions that the figure can’t stand (it can) — but he also doesn’t mention the ankle swivels. So while I had already noticed those points of articulation and would have mentioned them regardless, I felt compelled to point out that they’re helpful for keeping the figure on its feet. Since one would tend to assume that a figure can stand up unless otherwise noted (and since the ankles aren’t the most obvious joints, I can definitely understand someone concluding that the figure can’t stand), I might not have explicitly mentioned that otherwise.

(That’s not meant to be insulting, mind you; I enjoy Artemis’s reviews!)

Anyway, all for now! Stay tuned, since Monday marks the site’s… six-year anniversary! I’m hoping to have at least two new pieces and hopefully three or four up to celebrate — among others, there’ll be the first non-toy review since… August of last year? Wow. 😕

JUKU COUTURE AUDRINA!!!

We don’t typically go for girls’ dolls, but the Juku Couture Audrina doll might just change that! With stylish clothes and articulation to rival most action figures, Audrina is far more entertaining than your average boy toy.  (1/14/10)

Hey, folks! It’s been a while, eh? I haven’t been dead — so don’t go scolding Willow for not resurrecting me sooner — I just got a bit bogged down with other stuff towards the end of last year. I don’t have a ton to show for my distraction, mind you, but I did end up with a few things that might make for cool reviews. Whether I’ll actually get around to reviewing them remains to be seen…

Anyway, speaking of reviews, we’ve got a new toy review… of the Juku Couture Audrina doll. Yep, we’re reviewing dolls now! I mean, it’s not like we haven’t reviewed dolls before, and action figures are arguably just dolls for boys… but still. Actually, there’s no shame involved — Audrina is pretty cool and I enjoyed reviewing her. In fact, writing this review was more fun for me than many of our more recent toy reviews, if only because the subject matter gave me more opportunities to joke around. I hope the piece is/was fun for you to read, too!

So hopefully I’ll have more unique reviews like this in 2010, and I do plan to get back to reviewing other stuff — among other things, there’s still a cartoon episode review that I mostly wrote last year but haven’t gotten around to finishing and posting. And although the 25th anniversary of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has passed, I still want to get some belated commemorative content up. We’ll see.

And in the meantime, feel free to swing by Articulated Discussion, where you’ll find lots of great content and the occasional piece by me. Since the last SC article, I’ve done three things over there: two installments of Bootleg Tuesday and one brief article spotlighting my top three figures of 2009. I bet you can’t guess who one of them is!

Okey-doke, that’s all for now. Until next time, if there is one! 😛