Bits & Pieces

''tonight I feel like dying''

Crayon Poetry Corner #13!

It’s been a while since we’ve had an installment of Crayon Poetry Corner, eh? From the less ostensibly cheerful side of SC, here’s a new piece from Wes entitled “tonight I feel like dying”. Four stanzas of misery.  (8/17/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 1)


Remember that zany 50K-word novel I wrote in ’04? Well, I’ve decided to post the whole thing — in 14 or so chunks — for your reading pleasure! Here’s the first part of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told.  (8/17/06)

''Hazel Wheatkettle's Dying Wish''

“Hazel Wheatkettle’s Dying Wish”

It’s been quite a while since we’ve had a so-called literary offering on Scary-Crayon, so here’s a short story I wrote a while back: “Hazel Wheatkettle’s Dying Wish”. We post all kinds of things on the good SC, yes we do.  (4/20/06)

''A Thanksgiving Poem''


And now, it’s time for a special Thanksgiving edition of Crayon Poetry Corner! Today’s poem is appropriately titled “A Thanksgiving Poem”. There’s also a mp3 download of the poem being read aloud! YAY!  (11/24/05)

''Wander Drunk After Four''

Crayon Poetry Corner #12!

Unless you’re under 21 or a teetotaler, you probably know what happens when you drink a long island iced tea. Do you know what happens after quickly gulping down four of ’em? Find out in Crayon Poetry Corner #12!  (6/13/05)

''This is not a poem.''

Crayon Poetry Corner #11!

Or not! ‘Cause this piece is definitely not a poem. Even though it’s Crayon Poetry Corner #11. See the title? “This is not a poem.” Who are we to argue? Btw, we’d lose that argument. It’s not a poem! Set it to music.  (5/27/05)

''Why are you running?''

Crayon Poetry Corner #10!

Not long ago, I saw a pretty woman jogging through my neighborhood. Her appearance raised a few questions, so I decided to write about it in Crayon Poetry Corner #10! Is the ending some kind of metaphor?  (5/12/05)

''Happy Mother's Day''


This Mother’s Day, Scary-Crayon asks, “What does a child get for a mother who realizes that her life would have been better if the child had never been born?” Find out in “Happy Mother’s Day”, our latest short story.  (5/8/05)

''Two Minutes on the Metro''


Yeah, in our mad quest to extend Scary-Crayon’s reach to the stars above, we’ll be posting short stories from time to time. Here’s the first — a quick old piece by Wes entitled “Two Minutes on the Metro”. Enjoy!  (4/23/05)

''the desolate photographer's plea''

Crayon Poetry Corner #9!

Have you ever seen a beautiful stranger whose picture you wanted to take, the way you’d photograph a landscape or a monument? In “the desolate photographer’s plea”, we see how one might request such a shoot.  (3/1/05)

''Bacardi in Wonderland''

Crayon Poetry Corner #8!

Dog lovers rejoice! Scary-Crayon plays the kawaii card, bringing the loveable Bacardi into the crayon madness in “Bacardi in Wonderland”, a rhyme about the little dog’s visit to Wes’s cluttered room. He’ll be back!  (1/12/05)

''Filthy Camels''

Crayon Poetry Corner #7!

Observant as he is, Wes sees many depressing things in his travels — for instance, dirty bastards who spit on the sidewalk for no fucking reason. Instead of killing them, he wrote this poem. “Filthy Camels” is the title.  (10/8/04)

''The Licker''


In preparation for the upcoming release of Resident Evil: Apocalypse in theaters, Scary-Crayon’s got another tie-in feature — Crayon Poetry Corner: Resident Evil 2 Edition. Join us as Wes immortalizes the licker in verse.  (9/3/04)

''A Vicious Yellow Cycle''

Crayon Poetry Corner #6!

GIMME A BEAT! For Crayon Poetry Corner #6, Wes dips into beatnik territory with a new piece entitled “A Vicious Yellow Cycle”. So dim the lights, grab a cup o’ joe, and let us entertain you hip cats for a spell.  (7/27/04)

''Joan of Arc''

Crayon Poetry Corner #5!

In Crayon Poetry Corner #5, newcomer Jax pays tribute to the warrior saint Joan of Arc in a poem appropriately entitled “Joan of Arc”. By the way, Scary-Crayon thinks Leelee Sobieski is hot.  (6/27/04)

''Vampire Salmon''

Crayon Poetry Corner #4!

These poems tend to be kinda dark, huh? In the fourth installment of Crayon Poetry Corner, Scary-Crayon keeps the trend alive with a number by Wes entitled “Vampire Salmon”. Vampire salmon??? Whatever…  (6/12/04)

He-Man got slimed.


With the release of Troy in theaters, Scary-Crayon brings you a, uh, loose translation and summary of the events that spell DOOM for Troy in Virgil’s Aeneid. Includes pics of He-Man and others for decoration!  (5/13/04)


Crayon Poetry Corner #3!

Scary-Crayon’s dark days continue with the third edition of Crayon Poetry Corner. In this villanelle (!!!) entitled “Grass Cutting in the Dark”, Wes explores the frustration of being made to cut grass…in the dark.  (5/3/04)