February 15, 2009
This song is bloody awful.

It's been a while since we've had a feature like this, eh? Angry criticism abounds in this review of Beyoncé's terrible new song, "Diva"! The article pretty much says all I've got to say about it, but really -- ugh. Beyoncé should be ashamed of herself for this crap.

Of course, the public is lovin' it. I hate the world.

-posted by Wes | 6:02 am | Comments (17)
17 Comments »
  • Mickelodeon says:

    She's studied at the Mariah Carey School of Crap...I mean Divas, I suppose. =) I dunno - I honestly have never gone out of my way to listen to either of them (that hasn't saved me, though), but have long believed Mariah's terribly overrated. Beyonce, I don't know from. She's far too 'today" for me to even be remotely interested. =)

  • RADIX says:

    With any luck, this won't be playing on my local radio station. (Then again, they regularly play shit, so...)

  • A toothbrush is a male version of a Diva!

    And, I'm a, I'm a, toothbrush!

    dON't U b H8n bYonCE, Wez!

    just kidding.

    I couldn't sit through that video either, and I've sat through ALOT of crap!

    I knew it'd be bad since you've never devoted a whole article to hating a song before, but I didn't think it would be that bad.

    What you need is some good music, to wash out that bad music. I recommend my current favourite band, Astroninja! They rock!

    http://www.myspace.com/astroninary

    I even have their album "Kiss My Astro"! It's fantastic.

  • Oh by the way, remember when I said I was learning to do CG, and you said you wanted to see what I come up with...

    I may not be anywhere remotely close to a finished project, but if you want to see some CG images I've made you can check out this thread:

    http://forums.tezukainenglish......5a571e3099

  • Albert says:

    Well, at least it's not the Pussycat Dolls...uggh.

    Also, the nonsensical sentances you put in were neat. "A Mouser is a Foot Clan version of a nightlight."

  • Elle says:

    Horrible song by a horrible person. Every time they play her music at the bar I drink more. Which I guess I should do anyway because I'm ugly.

  • Sqeejee says:

    In the second-to-last picture, is she imitating Klaus Nomi? I think she is. How unspeakably pretentious, and unexpected. And what does that have to do with being a "female version of a hustler," anyway?

  • Fauna says:

    This could be the "Neon Genesis Evangelion" of this year's songs.

    It makes no sense, has disturbing and unidentifiable imagery, and will have hundreds of psycho fans while everybody else ignores or hates it.

    An Asuka is a female version of a dentist drill?

  • Actually, I love NGE (but I do like the more even-handed early episodes more than the depressing later ones).

    I'd compare this song more to a bad STD than to any anime series.

  • Wes says:

    Mick: I mostly agree, but Mariah Carey is a thousand times better than Beyoncé. Her songs were mostly kinda shallow, but at least she never stooped to lame songs about her butt (seriously) or stupid, incorrect definitions!

    RADIX: One can hope.

    Albert: Somehow, I doubt even the Pussycat Dolls can be this bad. They're Disney, right? No, wait -- I'm thinking of the Cheetah Girls. I'm not familiar with the Pussycat Dolls at all, but my doubts remain. And I had fun coming up with those nonsensical statements, so I'm glad you liked them!

    Elle: Hang in there, champ.

    Sqeejee: I have no idea who Klaus Nomi is, but I'm fairly certain she has nothing to do with divas being female versions of hustlers.

    Fauna: And yet everyone loves NGE (including Tetsu, apparently)! I've never actually seen it, but every time I get a blind Gainax gashapon it ends up being Rei. Perhaps I should watch NGE... because it's clearly watching me.

    Tetsu: That band's not bad, but it's not really my thing -- sounds like the stuff they'd play at frat boy parties back when I was a young college lad. Give me something a bit more subdued with a few (but not too many) instruments in the background and I'm good to go. Darkwave is also acceptable.

    Great CG images, by the way!

    And yes, this song is very much like an STD. An STD is a contagious version of a washcloth.

  • nobody says:

    luckily beyonce's better at making songs than you are at bashing people

    • Robert Consiglio says:

      Beyonce and other bogus and phony musicians like her deserve to be bashed (verbally, not literally- Chris Brown like rap and hip hop crud would know the difference) her lyrics suck and her latest song "who rules the world? girls! is just about at kindergarten level. She also uses illuminati and cultist symbolism and is likely mind controlled. If she didn't give in to these satanic scum that are controlling her, she wouldn't be winning awards for singing garbage songs. She does have a lovely voice, but her videos, practically soft porn, demean woman, not to mention she is a married woman. What should her family and friends think of someone who flaunts their body in public for money? She is a "sell out" and a horrible role model for young, impressionable woman. That isn't bashing anyone. It's just facts, and she is a flake.

  • nobody says:

    what I ment to say was, that none of the people that posted will ever make the charts..
    so beyonce must be doing something right

    but i can imagine your frustration.

  • PASSER says:

    FUCK WHOEVER WHO WROTE THIS. BEYONCE IS THE QUEEN. SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SONGS SHE LIKE, SO SHUT THE FLYING FUCK UP UNLESS YOU ARE A DIVA. BEYONCE SLAYS YOUR ASS, BLUE IVY SLAPS YOUR FACE!

    • Robert Consiglio says:

      Wow, great language. Beyonce is an Illuminati sex slave who has been mind controlled into believing she can actually write music. How blind can you be? Please listen to some good classical music. Mozart could write a piano concerto when he was 5. Beyonce can barely write a coherent sentence. Her latest new "song" about girls ruling the world is at kindergarten or less level in terms of intellect. The grammar is around grade 1or 2. I know, because I teach ESL to kids. Her English is atrocious, and she seems unable to express things clearly. Her voice is great, if she would dump the satan worshipping scum that are controlling her. They are Illuminati, and they are ruining the music business. She is controlled by them. Can't you tell? She looks stoned or numb quite often. Sorry to bust your "bubble" but you have been tricked by the elites who want to dumb us down by rewarding and highlighting infantile and depraved music.

  • Deb says:

    I actually found your article because I was googling to see if anyone else hates this song as much as I do as I'm slightly confused about how much air time it's getting. I don't get it?! It's one of the worst songs I've ever heard in my entire life....

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