That's right -- at long last, we have another article! But first, two new Crayon Haiku (three if you're counting): A Crayon Haiku #78 and A Crayon Haiku #79. #78 shows the continued growth of our action figure Legion of Doom and an unfortunate incident with Batzarro (at least the arm sticks back in there, eh? ), and #79 is just... ugh. I've actually had that advert around here since the site began -- it really should have been A Crayon Haiku #8 or something -- but every time I saw it I shuddered and decided to postpone the scanning. Well, here it is. Isn't that the worst ad photo ever? I mean, the woman might not look too bad with makeup and clothing and a less awkward pose, but as it stands she just looks skanky and gross. And stinky. Yuck.

So now that we've gotten the appetizers out of the way, here's the main course: a review of DC Direct's New Gods Darkseid figure. The review says it all, but I quite like this guy! I mean, he's freaking Darkseid -- what's not to like? Oh, and if you click on the smaller images in this feature, you'll see that I've decided to swallow my hatred of javascript and try something new... that something being Lightbox 2. Barring any unforeseen problems, I think I'll keep it around, but of course your input is always welcome and appreciated. Let me know if you love it, despise it, et cetera. At the very least, it eliminated the need to press back and/or switch tabs and windows to look at the larger versions of images, eh?

And that's all for today's update! Until next time, then...

Hey all! It's been a while since the last update, but I wanted to make absolutely sure that y'all didn't miss The Sarah Jane Adventures Drinking Game and had ample time to get your drink on with Miss Smith. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Anyway, to kick May off, we've got A Crayon Haiku #77... which actually has two 5-7-5 poems. The first is nothing new to you if you've read my personal blog lately, but I finally got a Scarecrow figure to bring my Legion of Doom membership count to five. (Though I guess this is the first time Lex Luthor and Black Manta have appeared on SC as well, huh?) And I'd been sort of sitting on the second haiku for some time -- ever since I read Salvation Run #4 a couple of months ago, actually. Originally I was going to make it a Hot Flash, but then I decided to make it a quick haiku... and then I decided to reshoot it with the Batman/Superman Series 5 Joker after I got that figure. (I'd previously used one from the "The Batman" figure line.) And then I forgot about it again. Anyway, lest I put it off any longer, I decided to lump it in and make this one of those rare two-haiku installments. Enjoy.

More substantial fare coming soon -- after all, I do have that Kong review to finish! And I did come across a Supreme Kong at a decent price, so I may even have to expand the Kong review to three parts. We'll see.

Until next time, then!

Hey all! I'm a bit late with tonight's feature -- the show's already started on the East Coast -- but hopefully you folks out West will have time to check out the rules and drink along to "The Sarah Jane Adventures", premiering tonight at 7:30 PM on Sci Fi. And this is also the debut of my friend Mickey of Strange Cousin Susan as a contributor to the site, so do welcome her! I've been eager to have her write for us for some time -- and few people love Sarah Jane Smith (and her boots) more -- so it was really fantastic to have her along for this piece.

Anyway, if you miss that initial airing -- or, on the EC, want to check it out with the drinking game -- it'll be on again at 11:00 PM. After this week, TSJA will be airing at 8:00 PM on Fridays. So if you're at all interested in "Doctor Who" (which, starting next week, will begin airing directly after TSJA) or Sarah Jane (or just want to watch solely for the excuse to drink along ), be sure to check that out! If you're going to play our game, though, remember to drink responsibly and remain aware of your limits while doing so.

One more thing about the game -- don't be confused by the frequent mentions of Clyde in the rules, since he does not appear in the pilot episode airing tonight. Apparently test audiences found Kelsey to be as annoying as we did, so she was axed and replaced by the very likable Clyde. To make up for the sips missed in his absence, though, you're welcome to take a sip every time you find Kelsey grating on your soul. If you choose to do so, please remember our warnings. Scary-Crayon and Strange Cousin Susan are not responsible for any embarrassment and/or injury that result from participating in this activity.

ALSO! For Sarah Jane fans with access to the classic "Doctor Who" episodes, you might want to give The Sarah Jane Smith Drinking Game at The Sarah Jane Smith Wardrobe Appreciation Society a try. I haven't played, so I can't vouch for it -- but considering how incompetent Sarah Jane could be in the older episodes (I still liked her, but give me Leela, Romana, or Ace any day), I suspect that you'd be sipping an awful lot.

Until next time, minna-san!

But first, another Crayon Haiku! Seriously, this is pretty much the only reason I went for this Jimmy Olsen -- if I can't have a Chloe figure, I'll at least have someone to rag on Clark for letting Chloe get away. I mean, Superman losing to Jimmy Olsen is way worse than losing to Brainiac or Lex Luthor, especially when it's entirely his fault! Pathetic.

And now, what I really meant to post last week but have just now finished: the first part of a King Kong action figure review! Playmates released a whole line of Kong figures in conjunction with Peter Jackson's remake back in 2005, but it's 2008 and most of these Kongs are still sitting on the shelves in KB Toys locations across America. In this installment, I look at three of the 6" Kongs as well as the larger 11" Roaring Kong figure. Next time, we'll look at two more of the smaller figures and the 15" deluxe Kong from Mezco. Sure, Kong's no longer exactly current -- not that he has to be for a Scary-Crayon review, but still -- but these figures weren't worth the original prices anyway. Discounted, however, they are awesome.

I'd like to say that the second part of this review will be up soon, but who knows considering that I still haven't finished the Quick Change Dinobot piece! That said, whereas the QC Dinobots have all but disappeared since the 2007 winter holidays, not even Christmas (or the previous Christmas, for that matter) managed to dwindle the Kong armies manning the pegs at KB. I'm confident that you'll have your chance to make an informed decision before they disappear altogether.

Hope y'all enjoyed today's prank! Or, if you missed it because you came directly to the blog or are a day late, you can check it out here. At first I was planning to do a mock layout littered with Daleks and entitled Skaro-Crayon, but then it completely slipped my mind and I found myself with nada as of Monday morning. But then, as I finished up a late night photo shoot for the next article, I came upstairs and found Bacardi happily chomping away and decided to film him enjoying his breakfast. Cartoon lightbulbs flared, resulting in today's quick April Fool's Day gag.

Also, we skipped last year, but feel free to check out our April Fool's Day pieces for 2005 and 2006. This year's is definitely less involved, but I think it wins out in terms of cuteness.

If all goes according to plan, I'll have that article (the first part of a two-parter -- one that I hope to actually finish in a timely fashion!) ready sometime this week. Until then, minna-san!

Hey all! Hope you're keeping warm during these final days of winter. If not, we regrettably lack the ability to provide you with a steaming cup o' cocoa via the web. We do, however, have a different treat for you tonight: our first article submission of 2008! In what will hopefully be the first of more knockoff Kabaya Transformers reviews from our esteemed guest reviewer, Tresob Yr of the Star Wars Action Figure Theater (SWAFT) gives us a firsthand look at the miniature model of Metroplex. He's even included an awesome mini-comic -- which really isn't all that mini considering that it's eight pages and has several panels per page -- that manages to be both humorous and informative despite starring those adorable Robot Heroes that I despise so much. So do enjoy these pieces and make Tresob feel welcome, and be sure to check out his site once you've finished reading the piece and commenting!

On the other hand, don't go just yet, as A Crayon Haiku #75 still demands your attention. Yes, demands, because Gorilla Grodd is back and he doesn't ask nicely -- you either submit to his will or you GET IN HIS BELLEAH. This'll probably be the last time (or at least the second to last time) that Grodd appears in a haiku, though, as I think I'm finally finished with him. While the obvious additions are the custom made "poseable" cape and necklace combo (not perfect, but I think it turned out well enough) and the painted spear that formerly belonged to Karai (note: painting soft plastic -- or whatever that spear is made of -- is not advised), he's also gotten more paint touch ups (the teeth have been completely redone) and a coat or two of brush-on matte sealer on his fur since the last time you saw him.

It's kind of difficult to make out in the photo, but I also hit up his eyes, teeth, tongue, and lower lip with a brush-on gloss sealer to give them a somewhat more "realistic" wet look. So yes, this Grodd even has drool! Beat that, 4Horsemen BAF Grodd that I will unfortunately never own because I dislike DCUC wave 2 and have no interest in shelling out $50 for it. Yes, I'm still bitter about that -- expect me to detail my frustrations more fully in an upcoming article.

And before we go, let me draw your attention to the links block. In addition to checking out SWAFT and our other entertaining links, I specifically recommend that you visit our latest six additions (in no particular order): Cool Toy Review (which has toy news as well as fabulous photo archives -- some of which even highlight the articulation -- so you can get a good look at what you're buying), Superarticulated (an excellent source of new toy information and reviews, not to mention featured custom figures), Heroine Addict (awesome reviews and perusals of heroine-related media and products; also reminds me of a very funny discussion that resulted from a typo I once made), Online Action Figure Entertainment (OAFE for short; the site title's kinda self-explanatory ), xkcd (a very funny and random webcomic), and Bogleech (wacky spookiness that's very much in keeping with Scary-Crayon's aesthetic inclinations).

You might also have noticed that clicking these links and the ones on the sidebar -- as well as the ones in Tresob's submission -- no longer causes outside pages to open in new windows. Not too long ago I was reading some web designers' blogs and I came across a rather angry screed against pages that open in new windows, the rationale being that if users wanted them to open in new windows and/or tabs they'd use the right click and select the appropriate feature. Now, I've never been especially bothered by pages that open things elsewhere (popup advertisements notwithstanding), but I couldn't argue with the logic -- so from now on I'll be discontinuing the target attribute when it comes to links. I don't feel strongly enough about the issue to go back and remove the targets from the four years' worth of articles and entries in which I've already employed them, but yeah. Hopefully no one will be too inconvenienced either way.

I think that's all for now, crayon fans. Special thanks to Tresob for the article submission! And remember, if you'd like to follow his awesome example, you know where to look. Until next time, then -- which will ideally be sooner than later!

I'm pretty sure I say this every time we get a good run of haikus going, but -- despite the fact that they're not particularly substantive featurettes -- I really do like seeing A Crayon Haiku thriving on the site again. After all, the Hot Flashes didn't start until Scary-Crayon was six months old and A Random Lunch features are few and far between, but A Crayon Haiku was battle-tested and ready to lead entertain on Day One.

Anyway, in A Crayon Haiku #74, I reveal what I've been spending too much time doing this past month: watching "Smallville". Which isn't to say that it's consumed a lot of my time -- far less than, say, the "Boy Meets World" kick I was on around the time I wrote about the greatness of Trini -- but it is to say that any amount of time spent watching "Smallville" is too much because the show is flipping terrible. Seriously. For those of you who don't watch, one of the plot developments involved Lex Luthor secretly drugging Lana Lang with hormones so she'd think she was pregnant with his baby and marry him. After marrying Lex and uncovering the truth, Lana uses an unfinished clone Lex made of her -- for no apparent reason -- to fake her own death and escape to Shanghai (where she ends up on Nanjing Road, no less). Yes.

Anyway, I started with a handful of select episodes because my ongoing DC Comics character obsession made me curious about seeing how the Martian Manhunter and other members of the Justice League were depicted on the show, but it's really Allison Mack as Chloe Sullivan that keeps me watching. She's just so cute! She may even be edging in on Willow's territory in my all-time favorite gorgeous TV sidekick rankings. I don't understand why Clark's so off on Lana -- she's got nothing on Chloe. Or Lois, for that matter. But then I don't understand a lot of things about "Smallville" -- like why it has to be so unbelievably terrible -- so eh.

I now need a Chloe action figure.