Bits & Pieces

"to kiss Donatello"

Crayon Poetry Corner #15

In this poem -- "to kiss Donatello" -- we join a woman as she reflects on her upbringing and memories of the TMNT. There aren't any NSFW images, but expect weird looks from your boss if he/she reads over your shoulder.  (2/14/14)

That lion is wearing glasses.

THE LION THAT WORE GLASSES

Short fiction returns to Scary-Crayon with an all-new story entitled "The Lion That Wore Glasses"! Well, technically it's an old story, but still. And no, the title's not trying to be clever: it really is about a glasses-wearing lion.  (1/20/08)

Short Story: ''Mold Country''

MOLD COUNTRY

In a faraway land where everything is covered with mold, a lone scholar takes it upon herself to rid her town of the oppressive fungus. Read about her solitary exploits in an allegorical tale entitled "Mold Country".  (5/21/07)

Is that... Frogger?

Crayon Poetry Corner #14!

In the long-awaited 14th edition of Crayon Poetry Corner, we sadly reflect upon an encounter with a flattened horny toad during a late night walk. Weep, dear readers, for it died so young... and with so much undone.  (5/10/07)

The Sinister Pelican

OH NOEZ THE SINISTER PELICAN

Like the VA Tech shooter, Wes was also condemned for authoring "disturbing" works in college. In fact, this very excerpt was deemed so horrifying that the writing tutor avoided him at all costs after reading it! Srsly.  (4/20/07)

Short Story: ''The Native and the Foreigner''

THE NATIVE AND THE FOREIGNER

Yes, it's time for another short story! Well, sort of, as "The Native and the Foreigner" is more of a brief vignette that describes an uneasy foreigner's initial interactions with his native host. Strange customs indeed...  (4/4/07)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 14)

MERRY STRANGE CHRISTMAS!!!

And here's your holiday surprise -- the final installment of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told! Okay, maybe it's not much of a surprise, but still. And hey -- even if you hate the story, at least now it's over.  (12/25/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 13)

THE STRANGE END IS NEAR!

The thirteenth part of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told again finds Santa Claus in the company of Wonrat and Rattoo as they debate the meaning of the winter holiday season. It's deep and strange.  (12/25/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 12)

COUNTDOWN TO STRANGEMAS

If you've ever wondered what two giant, intelligent wharf rats would say to each other, you've come to the right place! The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told continues with the twelfth segment. Yay.  (12/19/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 11)

DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS!

Things are actually starting to wind down in the eleventh segment of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told. Who ever would have guessed that Santa would end up here? Nobody with a rational mind...  (12/19/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 10)

WHEN YOU'RE STRANGE...

If it were not a story, The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told would be too strange for words! But it is a story, and stories usually have words, so its strangeness takes the form of words. This is the tenth part.  (12/19/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 9)

STRANGE STRANGER STRANGEST

Scary-Crayon's batshit insane holiday epic, The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told, just keeps getting stranger. The same goes for the images that accompany the text. The ninth part has goblin shark pics!  (12/11/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 8)

THIS STORY IS STRANGE, DUDES.

And appropriately so -- for if it were not, how could it rightly call itself The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told? In the eldritch eighth segment, among other things, we ponder the titles of various rooms. Yes.  (12/11/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 7)

IS IT ABOUT CHRISTMAS YET, PA?!

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told finally starts to live up to its holiday namesake as Santa steps up to take a definitive role in the seventh installment. The story's still surpassingly strange, though!  (12/11/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 6)

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN W0T?

Anyone who claims that truth is stranger than fiction has obviously never read The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told! Here's the spectacular sixth segment... in which things are still not making much sense.  (11/26/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 5)

MORE STRANGENESS FOR YOU

Considering that Santa Claus has entered the text, the fifth part of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told at last has a definite connection to the titular holiday! Ponder the mysteries of Kris Kringle within.  (10/22/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 4)

YES, IT COULD GET STRANGER.

Just when you never thought literature was beginning to make sense, The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told continues! In this freaky fourth installment, more crazy rambling takes place. Cling to your sanity.  (9/19/06)

The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told (Part 3)

COULD IT GET ANY STRANGER?!?

Spiders! Rumplestiltskin! Pac-Man! Werewolves! What do these creatures and characters have in common? They're all mentioned in the third part of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told! Take your medicine.  (9/4/06)

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