HOMEMADE DALEKS: PART 1

Dalekmania continues on Scary-Crayon with a rare arts ‘n’ crafts feature: Genesis of the Homemade Daleks: Part 1! Join us for one (mostly) kid-friendly method of creating a 3″ Dalek. In part 2, we’ll explore another!  (7/26/06)

As promised, here’s more Dalek madness with a bona fide arts ‘n’ crafts feature — Genesis of the Homemade Daleks: Part 1! I realize this may not have a ton of appeal for readers who don’t have kids and/or can afford to drop $50 for an official Dalek (to say nothing of folks who don’t care about the things at all!), but at the very least you can read it and laugh about what a loser your 25-year-old must be to undertake such a goofy, childish project. Alrighty then. 😐

In the upcoming second part, we’ll make even more homemade Daleks based on the pattern at The Ultimate Dalek Factory. There will, however, be several really nifty upgrades to the procedure. For your money, this is the method that’ll net you the most authentic-looking Dalek for the lowest price (even cheaper than this first outing) — so unless you’d really like to try this with children or are particularly keen on the cuteness of the shuttlecock Daleks (and they are cute), you’ll want to hold out for that one.

And I meant that stuff about being interested in additional quick and cheap Dalek-making ideas, so do share if you happen to have some. I’ll probably break down and buy one of the more expensive official Daleks (or maybe one of these cool handmade ones) in the near future, but until then I’ll have to settle for increasing my army via bootleg tactics. 😉

And here’s another one for the upcoming video game section (i.e., the category page I intend to create whenever I get around to tweaking the links on the site layout) — three reviews of games featuring DALEKS. As noted in the article, there are far more than three such games, but these are some of the more notable ones for various reasons. In the case of Doctor Who: Dalek Attack, that reason is that it’s as freaking hard as Dalekanium. There are supposedly different Daleks in the game as you progress, so if you happen to be freaking awesome and actually get to them, do feel free to send me screencaps. Not that I’ll necessarily use them for future Hot Flashes (though there’s an idea) — I mostly just wanna see what the buggers look like. ‘Cause I really like ’em Daleks.

Not sure if it’ll be next time — ’cause there are tons of articles on deck — but there is definitely more Dalek madness on the way. STAY TUNED!

YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!!!

Readers beware — the Daleks have returned! This time, Scary-Crayon reviews three games featuring everyone’s favorite salt shaker-shaped cyborg mutant things. Also, it is forbidden to dump bodies into the river.  (7/17/06)

STRAWBERRIES + EGGS = 666

No, we’re not dead — but given the events documented herein, our survival may surprise some readers. Curious? Read on to learn about the monstrosity born of the unholy combination of strawberries… and eggs.  (7/12/06)

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #84!

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #84 is intended to be more of a commentary on nerd identity and behavior in general, but I focused the dialogue on Superman because of the recent release of his latest film. Yes yes yes.  (7/12/06)

No, Virginia, Scary-Crayon is NOT dead! Been away for a while, I know, and that food piece that I was supposed to post weeks ago was never seen… until now. The genesis of one of the most horrific Foodstuffs concoctions to date — the MONSTROUS STRAWBERRY OMELETTE WITH CHEESE AND WHIPPED CREAM SANDWICH — has finally been documented in full for your reading displeasure. Hey, at least you didn’t have to eat the mutant abomination.

Also, lucky you if you haven’t been subjected to any conversations of this nature — especially on forums in the wake of Superman’s return to the big screen. Admittedly, some of the dialogue is fabricated based on conversations that I’ve had about other superheroes, but the general core of the nerd identity is intact — a compulsion to appear extremely knowledgeable about a certain given subject and the necessity of making a positive assertion in the face of any instance in which that knowledge is shown to be lacking. Mostly, this includes simply dismissing the material as being “ghey” or otherwise discrediting it, but at times the nerd will go so far as to reiterate your own question in the form of a statement in order to avoid admitting that he/she is unfamiliar with the product in question. At others — and I didn’t document this technique in the comic because hell if I felt like doing the research required to make an assertion along those lines — they will make a tangential connection and then begin spewing trivia about said connection in an attempt to wow you and reassert themselves as definitive nerds. For example, a nerd who has not seen X-Men: The Last Stand will note that Chris Claremont had a brief cameo in the movie and then go on to detail Claremont’s entire upbringing and career progression to date. Seriously.

The line about the Legos was actually derived from a comment overheard during my brief stint at the local comic shop, by the way — in the context of a conversation that had absolutely nothing to do with Legos. I frequented Taco Bell back when they did that whole Godzilla movie promotion in 1998. Just like that, except the true nerd would also note that he/she owns every single one of the plastic collectors’ cups featuring the American bastardization of everyone’s favorite kaiju. Yes.

I’m not making any promises about things to come on the site — we see how timely this update has been — but assuming that all goes well and it’s not another two to three weeks before I write anything new, here’s a hint: EXTERMINATE!!!